POET'S CORNER by Jeff Hartzer
#030: December, 2006
Holiday cards to do; shop til you’ve dropped...Smell the eCards, upload the pho-tographs, re-arrange old calendars, buy new ones, check lists twice, tune in satellite radios and tee vees, catch another turkey, make the pies, buy the ties, taste the gravy, light the scented candles, do the outdoor lights, fix the frozen plumbing, stock up on ‘tp’ and Kleenex, more trips to Wallie World, feed the dogs, water the hogs, catch the bunnies, hay the horses, rabies tags/licenses for the dogs, de-claw the cats, stay warm:wear those hats, shake your bootie on the mats, charge up the Visas, cuz we’re broke, love thy neighbor, hate the roadwork, wrap the packages, mail them (you haven’t yet?!), mail those cards (write them first!), deliver the yams and candy the hams and tams (no one wears a tam!), midnight masses, late nights out in the bars (or behind bars), frozen ponds and wishing wands, it’s all one song, bring it along. Good King What’s his name...Uncle George not so merry, Uncle Dickstill contrary. Mary and her little lamb, where’s the Kresh? Make way for the Shepherds, should I lasso you the moon? Please, no missionaries. Crank up the heat, light the fire, did you open the flue? Is that a siren I hear? Off to Grandma’s, tray tables locked in their upright positions. Poets are nuts. How do you spell Hannukah/Chanukkah? Eight different presents on eight nights? Out of oil for the lamps? Electricity is good. Off to the Frontier. Immaculate Conceptions and Human Rights day all in one weekend. Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays? Thank God I am not in Iraq. But we know someone who is. Plastic or Evergreen? Sky City under stars. Welcome Inherently Disordered Persons! Life is a Daily Show with Colbert cheese. Go Google yourself. Plug it in. More Extension cords, please. Broken shells: jingle bells. Daydreams; nightsweats. Coming soon to a theater near you: Osama’s mama: Barack Obama. More Vitamins! Less hydrogelized protein. Alligator Soup: Chunky Style. Pass the Cinnamon buns. Isleta Pueblo at midnight. White lights lead to blue lights. Whipped cream and a shining star on top. No exceptions. Bunker busters and outed pastors. All Faiths Receiving Home needs you more than Uncle Sam. Podiatrists celebrate too. Uranus, the planet of invention, moves ahead. The Year of the Dog goes out with a whimper. Oink, Oink! Up next: the Year of the Pig in 2007. Jupiter the planet of good luck, stays in the most favorable position on the Zodiac throughout all of 2007! Excuse Me for having Enormous flaws that I don’t want to work on. If Matt Lauer says so then it is so. Imagine a modern war longer than World War II. Got legs? South Valley express; catch the Road Runner running. Drive the ‘finished’ Isleta Boulevard in your broken dreams. Be tolerant of the Skipper who disagrees with you. Love your parents. Devote your life to The Kids. Please, no politicians. Remember the Alamo and rent a car elsewhere. Do not forget to water those Holiday Trees, the Yule logs, Pecan logs and don’t poke the Fruitcake, Junior. Who can we drop from our card list? Too many additions, subtractions...Damn the math, lick the stamps. It’s the Twinkle Light Parade...’Twinkle Lights’? Get a name. String those lights to the talllest tree and widest car. Rust Never Sleeps.
Try disconnecting for peace and inner joyfulness. Still your heart as our winter angels come to visit. Let all be well on a starry night with our families beside us in spirit. And soon, the children will be off to bed with dreams of (a) sugar plums, (b) Nintendo Wii’s (c) Play Station 3’s in their heads.
Jeff Hartzer © 2006