 CHAOS: Where brilliant dreams are born...Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be Chaos... I Ching |
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Gusty Winds May Exist...
Bring Peace Home
     Googling Stars!  'Trinity Site' Gallery  Paul Kantner Gallery 12/2000-present
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Sunday, February 07, 2010
 GO SUPERBOWL SAINTSATIONALS ! New Orleans Saints defeat the Indianapolis Colts to win Super Bowl XLIV 31-17 View New Orleans' WEBCAMS. 
Not such a great Soup Bowl Sunday for these folks:-> An explosion at a Connecticut power plant near Hartford has caused "mass casualties," authorities say.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Headlines Just in...
Self-help guru James Ray Arrested on manslaughter charges stemming from deaths in sweat lodge ceremony last year. [Many New Mexican individuals and families were affected by this tragedy... ]
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
THIS JUST-in: NASA's Hubble Space Telescope has observed a mysterious X-shaped debris pattern and trailing streamers of dust that suggest a head-on collision between two asteroids...FULL STORY.
Also J-in:->...The Pentagon has taken first steps toward repealing "don't ask, don't tell" policy, Defense Secretary Gates says.
Monday, February 01, 2010
MONDAY NIGHT CHAOS TOYOTA EDITION
Toyota USA stock [TM] up three bucks a share on the news that a fix has been found for the gas guzzling peddle to the metal problemo. Firm Pres., AKIO TOYODA is happy for the momento. Wait Toyota has Akia furniture? UNM LOBOS STOCK is also up...The New Mexico Lobos (20-3, 6-2 Mountain West) vaulted to No. 15 in this week's Associated Press poll, a leap of eight spots. UNM is also back in the ESPN/USA Today rankings at No. 23. New Mexico won two games last week: 76-72 at home over (12/10) BYU and 73-57 at TCU.Whoo Hoo. Today's Stock prices are also a bit worn down for the Baptists after a little problem with Haitian orphanos. The Baptists' "Haitian Orphan Rescue Mission" turned into a horror show for victims. FRESHCHAOS factoids departmento: -In the 174 minutes of an average football telecast, there are about 60 minutes of commercials, 75 minutes of players in the huddle or milling about, 17 minutes of replays and about 11 minutes of actual football...Wall Street Journal. -32 out of 50 U.S. Governors now use Twitter...USA Today -13 states have secessionist movements...The Atlantic Monthly -Harlem's is no longer mostly populated by Black folks. African Americans now only make up forty per cent of the population in the cultural capital of black America...New York Times -Eleven openly gay men and women now serve in Great Britain's Parliament; the mayors of Berlin and Hamburg are gay as is the Mayor of Paris...Time Magazine -76% of North Americans drive to work ALONE; 10.4% carpool; 4.9% uses mass transit...Washington Post Recently, Tsutomu Yamaguchi died at the age of 93. On August 6th, 1945 he survived Little Boy's atomic blast in Hiroshima and three days later, he survived the cataclysmic Fat Man blast in Nagasaki. There are believed to be 165 people who survived both but Tsutomu Yamaguchi is the only person to be officially recognized by the Japanese government. Two black South Carolina high school students have won a $150,000 settlement because other black students mocked them for 'acting white'. Kudos to their attorney, Larry Kobrovsky. Best NEW LP/cd you may not ever have heard of...  Releases March 9th, 2010 Super Bowl Sneak Peek...TIM TEBOW will be speaking out against abortions...Oh, yeah. RAM DAS is back in a new book called, the HARVARD PSYCHEDELIC CLUB...Joining him are the likes of Timothy Leary, Huston Smith, Andrew Weil, and some guy named Richard Alpert.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
free tarot readings Labels: free_tarot_reading
GO Jaguars...I just won one...Your E-mail address just won you a brand New Jaguar XJ car and a cash prize of £150,000.00GBP in the The New Jaguar XJ, XF and XK Launching International Awareness Promotion, Contact claims manager Mr. John Smith. with your details via email or call +44-702-407-0624. Whoo HOO.
Friday, January 29, 2010
The brightest moon of the year is out tonight...
 A full perigee moon over Albuquerque  And without a telescope, there's mars to the left of the moon
Thursday, January 28, 2010
JUST-in from SpaceWeather.com:->FULL MOON AND MARS: Friday night's full Moon is the biggest and brightest full Moon of the year. It's a "perigee Moon," as much as 14% wider and 30% brighter than other full Moons you'll see later in 2010. But that's not all. Mars is having a close encounter with Earth, and on Friday night, Jan. 29th, it will join the Moon for an all-night-long conjunction.
We didn't know that he was still alive but "Catcher in the Rye" author J.D. Salinger has died at age 91 in New Hampshire.
Our North Florida retorter Doctor Extreme sends this in:Interesting story about J.D. Salinger visits Jacksonville, Florida (circa 1982).
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
HOLY MOLY GO LOBOS
 LOBOS BEAT BYU!!!! Whooo HOOO....4 and 0 against ranked opponents...Already it has been and will be the year of the LOBOS. Labels: Lobos_beat_BYU
A pre-state of the onion sneak peek:->Obama to seek repeal of military "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in State of the Union speech tonight.
It's about time/It's about space...A family friend confirms Elizabeth and John Edwards have separated and says that Elizabeth is "moving on with her life."
You've heard the rumors, it's TRUE->Apple announces new device sized between laptop and smartphone to be called a Spanking NEW iPad !
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Talk about market CORRECTIONS...Toyota says it is suspending U.S. sales of eight recalled models to fix accelerator pedals that stick...General Motors says it has agreed to sell the Swedish Saab brand to Dutch carmaker Spyker.
And from OUTER SPACE comes-> This week Earth and Mars are having a close encounter. On Jan. 27th, the Red Planet will be only 99 million kilometers away and look bigger through a telescope than at any time between 2008 and 2014. Bill Gates on last night's Daily Show was a bit odd...And he has a growing bald spot on the back of his head that makes one wonder if you are super rich can't you buy a hat or something?...More on Gates from tonight's local TV news interview with Val Kilmer (aka Jim Morrison) who mentioned that when Gates couldn't get any Albuquerque banks to loan him $15,000, Bill moved away from the Land of Enchantment. Val was warning legislators to not drop our state's Movie Tax Credits. And today that motion was tabled. Speaking of Jim Morrison, he too once lived in Albuquerque.
Monday, January 25, 2010
MONDAY NIGHT FRESH CHAOS
Tonight finds us without much in the way of teevee football and that's ok because we went blind yesterday watching the NFL playoffs. This year the new improved placement of the NFL Pro Bowl prior to the Soup Bowl may kind of work out as we never watch the Pro Bowel anywho. This though makes the much-elongated football frenzy just plain DIE at the end of the Soup Bowl. This year's matchup should be fun though, stirring the likings of the Saintsationals and the Paytone Mannings in the first weekend of the shortest month of the year. Go midwinterish gloom and early yearnings for spring after that. The light-skinned African American Negro Big O Dude gives his state of the Onion this week. Hope it is good and brings us lotsa HOPE cuz hope-on-a-rope has been shrinking in the golden showers of Tea Bagging birthers and such. Brutal year uno for O-man. Not sure Johnny McSwain and Shreaky Ms. Palindromer coulda done any better. Speaking of glam...Things are not all glittering in Aspen this week. An anonymous persona is dropping roofies into drinks in Aspen, Colorado. Snow bunnies (and men too) are according to AP, waking up in strange places such as barns and snowbanks with no clue as to how they got there. Victims have suffered from frostbite, bruises, and broken bones. This has occurred in more than a dozen separately reported incidents. Breaking Wind:-> President Barack Obama will ask Congress to freeze spending for some domestic programs for three years beginning in 2011. JUST-IN more scary snews-the United States Food and Drug Administration Posts a New Nationwide Recall due to SALMONELLA...If you go to the link, you'll read about ill-tasting and vaguely rotten Italian Meats while at the side of the webpage, the Google Adsenser ads are for, you guessed her Chester, Italian Meats. Yummmm. HEY KIDS, this is NATIONAL NUCLEAR SCIENCE WEEK and Albuquerque's National Museum of Nukage is front and center in the happenings...Go Nukes. GOT SEXUAL PREDATORS? Check out this website called, Family Watchdog dot org . Our least favorite advertising dude of late is that dumb guy with big black glasses hawking all he can do with Windows 7, such as move the pages around on his computer. Oooh wow, that's just what you have always been able to do if your pooter is an iFruit Mac attacker. Go Apples...with cheese and Italian Meat. Most favorite advertisement narration: DEXTER MORGAN (not his real name) does the voiceover for a new Dodge Charger ad...Most favorite advertising series: Budweiser's too lite/too heavy series. Since a number of American beer companies have been bought by the Belgians, including Budweiser, it is ironic that a new promotion for Sammy Adams beer touts the greatness of its European-ness. FRESHCHAOS QUOTE OF THE MOMENTO: "Massachusetts is so blue it should have been in Avatar." Wanda Sykes re: the recent election of a Republican in a certain extremely BLUE state. Another great quotage comes from Larry Wilmore of The Daily Show when he says to Jon Stewart: "NEGROES AREN'T MAGIC."
Monday Monday breaking winds:->
-Lebanese security officials say an Ethiopian airliner with about 90 people on board has crashed into the sea. -Saddam Hussein's notorious cousin "Chemical Ali" has been executed. -Sales of previously occupied homes took the largest monthly drop in more than 40 years in December, plunging far deeper than expected after lawmakers gave buyers extended time to use a tax credit.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND reviewed by Major League
The new movie THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND (screenplay by Tennessee Williams) is flawed, but Maj. League says: go to see it at the theatre. Williams' masterpieces are well known (CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF and A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE, both Pulitzer winners) and familiarity with those classics will inform any attempt to understand the Teardrop movie. Perhaps even more illuminating is reference to Williams' life (the lobotomy of his schizophrenic sister, father's alcoholism, mother's near hysteria, and his own homosexuality). This screenplay was written in the mid-fifties, but not made into a movie until now, probably for a good reason: Williams tries to cover an enormous amount of ground. Themes or facets include the vapidity of high society anywhere and, more seriously, the ill consequences of class-based society; the distortions and disparities of economic life in the New South (Mississippi) in the 1920s; the destructive effects of alcoholism; drug experimentation; assisted suicide; the fall of families from power and grace; madness -- and, in the end, the insistence of love in the midst of all that chaos. Is that enough for one movie to cover? No, it is too much, which may account for the unevenness of plot and the sometimes flawed dialog. To begin, the moviegoer must suspend some disbelief when Williams' fulcrum premise is presented: that on a moonlit night two years earlier, the father of the distaff protagonist dynamited a major levee on his plantation for inexplicable reasons (insanity?), causing deaths and destruction downstream. The father seems to be gone (dead?) when the action begins, but his destructive act has socially disgraced the family in the nearby city, Memphis, where the daughter named Fisher Willow is, at the demand of her aunt, now going through the social season as an older than average, and inebriated, debutante. The young woman is heiress-to-be of two family fortunes, and she recently returned from Europe, where she spent time in the arms of an Italian count and in a Zurich mental clinic. To participate in Memphis social events as a debutante, Fisher requires a male escort, so she more or less requisitions the son of the manager of the plantation's commissary (recall that the plantation slavery of the Old South was replaced with a sharecropping regime under which the the landowner controlled all aspects of the tenant's life, including an obligation to buy supplies from the plantation store so as to further augment the growth of the owner's fortune). The young man, Jimmy Dobbyn V, is the penniless grandson of a former governor; his family has suffered a serious downturn with his mother committed to a mental institution and his father unreliable as an alcoholic. Jimmy is intelligent and handsome, and Fisher outfits him in proper evening clothes so that he can drive her yellow Pierce Arrow convertible and accompany her to debutante parties. Jimmy is heterosexual -- in one scene in a men's room at a fancy hotel, he punches out a gay man who leered at him (some say Williams had trouble coming to grips with his own homosexuality) -- and Fisher is attractive and smart, but she is also rich, and Jimmy feels as if she is his employer. The key scenes occur during a Halloween party at another plantation house after one of Fisher's very valuable (and borrowed) teardrop diamond earrings is lost, with resulting recriminations, suspicions, and tensions. In the course of this night, the gothic nature of the life of the Southern elite is clearly, if chaotically, disclosed: binge drinking of moonshine by the young men; a game of post office that results in a quick coupling of Jimmy with a young woman whom he seems to have known previously; an experiment with laudanum by Fisher; and Fisher's assistance in the suicide of a crippled aunt of the hostess of the party in an upstairs bedroom. In the final frames, at dawn out on a Mississippi levee, Fisher's love for Jimmy is revealed, and apparently reciprocated by Jimmy. As my fellow moviegoer remarked, "There is a lot going on in that movie!" The story line persists although the dialog that does not always quite hang together. Maj. League spent time in graduate school focusing on the history of the New South, and in that connection he has long appreciated the works of that product of the New South, Tennessee Williams, who died in 1983 at age 71 (in 1973, I saw him speak publicly -- he read some of his work while reclining on the rostrum, wearing denim pants and shirt with a red bandana around the neck). All in all, Maj. League says: this movie is worth seeing, despite the flaws, particularly if you have any acquaintance with life in the South in the early twentieth century. Labels: THE_LOSS OF_A_TEARDROP_DIAMOND
Friday, January 22, 2010
Hey, nice tele-thong!
Even as I write this, undoubtedly many of you are watching Hope for Haiti, the two-hour telethon, benefitting the Haitian relief efforts. 2nd Lt. FUBAR has a couple problems with HFH. The first is the same she has when her local PBS station has its semi-annual pledge drives, interrupting her fave programs long after she has renewed membership as one of those "viewers like you." (If you don't know what that means, chances are you don't contribute to public television.) The second is calling a two-hour outing a "telethon." But the truly curious aspect of the HFH telethingy is what channels are and are not televising it. It is on all our local, English-language network affiliates and a host of cable channels, including CNN, CNBC, MTV (and the like), NatGeo (the hip channel formerly known as National Geographic), Style (earthquake chic?), BET (makes sense, sort of), Comedy Central (what, now?), and MLB (that's Major League Baseball). But HFH is NOT on the History Channel, History International, Discovery, MSNBC (I guess CNBC was enough), or that bastion of non-PBS liberalism, LINK TV. And despite the fact that Haiti shares an island with the Dominican Repulic in the largely Latin American Caribbean Sea, Spanish-languague broadcasters Univision, Telemundo, and Galavision are not airing it.
Our FRESHCHAOS General Staffer, Major League, advises:->For those heading to the dance club this weekend, Peter Lovatt — a psychology professor and former professional dancer in Britain, aka "Dr. Dance" — has a few things to teach you about making yourself more attractive to prospective partners...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
BREAKING WINDS: Conan O'Brien has reportedly signed a deal with NBC to leave "The Tonight Show," making way for Jay Leno to return as the late-night show's host.
Former Sen. John Edwards has admitted that he's the father of the baby born to his (former) mistress. The Supreme Court has ruled that corporations may spend freely to support or oppose candidates for President and Congress, easing decades-old limits on their participation in federal campaigns. Speakin' of straight-talkin' campaigns... Sarah Palindromer will soon campaign alongside the old guy, Johnny McSwain for his re-election bid to the U.S. Senate from the state of Arizona. Yeah, ya betcha! Latest number of HOURS spent by American Youth on (with?) "electronics" now totals 8 a day. The only media (medi-um?) not being used by today's youth is newspapers. Mr. Brown you've got some lovely daughters... Senator Brown's Daughters: Want One? A SAD Story: Eric Segal, author of LOVE STORY, died this week. He was a Yale University Classics professor who struck it rich with his pop-culture phenom. Also now dead as a doornail is the founder of TACO SMELL, Glen W. Bell. Still won't find us in The Bell, no way, no how. And what is a doornail anyway? GO SPACEMEN... NASA's cocaine stash found. Toyota is recalling 2.3 million U.S. vehicles to correct sticking accelerator pedals ... and finally, in the breaking winds category:-> The Dow closes more than 200 points down after President Barack Obama announces plans to crack down on Wall Street's risky behavior.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Capnchaos's hometown is kickin it for WHITE AMERICANS to play basketball together in whiteness . Go Jacksonville. [Link sent in by Doctor Extreme one of our North Florida General Staffers; thanks Herr Dok X.]
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
JUST-in...Republican Scott Brown upsets Democrat Martha Coakley to claim the U.S. Senate seat vacated by the late Sen. Edward M. Kennedy in Massachusetts.
AND this...Official: 8 Killed In Central Va. Shootings A law enforcement official says eight people have been killed in shootings in central Virginia.
Along with R.E. Lee, Janis Joplin, and others born on thisthe day of dreams and visions, Jeff Hartzer and one of his many alter ego pals,capnchaos, turn over another year...
   The Dude Abides...
Monday, January 18, 2010
MONDAY NIGHT CHAOS-MLK Edition
Martin Luther King Day with a Black Negro dude in the Oval Orifice is quite something even if the Big O honeymoon is long over. Meanwhile huge suicide attacks explode today in Afghannytown and Haiti-ville is on on our minds. Speaking of Quakes...Some Tremors were felt in Raton, New Mexico on MLK Day. Undoubtedly shook up the rats of Raton. And...There's another storm on the way through the high desert today...TV Weather heads are saying it is producing a triple threat (of moisture?)...Last time the jet stream blew by, we at FRESHCHAOS HQ spotted ALL of the Following birds in one week...There was a female Kestral, juvenile Cooper's Hawk, a young male Sharp-shinned Hawk, a gold finch, and a downey woodie-pecker...Bring on the storms You mighty Ornithologistic Gods of the Breaking Winds. America's favorite football team,THE 'BOYS' fell apart even with the new Dallas Palace...When will crankytown Jerry Jones shrivel up and squirt a blood vessle? A few months ago Capnchaos and 2nd Lt. FUBAR were en route to the ABQ International Sunport in a Yellow cab (by the way, why would you paint any other car that same 'yellow'?), when a talkative cabby told us about the time he used to be a Dallas area waiter and, believe it or don't, he waited on Jerry Jones himself who was dining with none other than Mr. Bill Gates. The whole restaurant was bowing and scraping for the two. Bottomline of the taxi-driver/ex-waiter's story is that NEITHER one of the two tycoonies left ANY tip at all...Maybe that's why the dude left Dallas and moved to the high desert to fulfill his dreams as a taxi driver. New Year's BLUES and YELLOWS...Mexican women are said to annually buy new undies at the New Year for good wishes...Usually they buy RED to help the wearer find love in the coming year...This year though, the choice say underwear sales staff, was YELLOW symbolizing GOLD...Mexican women are seeking $$$ moreso than LUV this year. they are not alone. But ah, yellow panties...oooh. Internet security firm, Symantec, has released a list of the most searched for items for kids under 8 years old...PORN was tops right above of "Club Penguin". In other FRESHCHAOS perversions of youth , a three year old went through the TSA screenings with his mother and was horrified to have his Play-DOH confiscated. Used to be you might worry about Play-DOH getting stuck in the carpet, not used for bombs. Good to see (ex) DUH-PRES sober this past weekend for his appearances with Bill Clintonian and Big O. Their efforts to raise money for Haiti brought the little muskrat out of hiding and still quite a decider/smirker. BODY OF LIES is our choice for a Netflixer Monday Night Chaos rental. 'tis a great Ridley Scott film about the Middle East where in truth there are no 'good' or 'bad' guys. Could be the "Blade Runner" of 2010. So there was the dumb Christian vs. Buddhist quote by Fox's Brit Hum-erless about Tiger Woods (Wood's mothah was a Buddhist)...But perhaps even 'worser', comes this quote re: the Haiti Earthquake by Rush (still alive & heartless) Limburger Cheeser: "It's made to order for them..." Geeze Louigeeze. An even odder FOX-tv moment though was when Glenn Beck worshipped Sarah Palindromer in an awkward interview and now she is getting paid as a commentator (but with Beck, she did not seem to 'commentate' at all. Beware the SUPER SNAKE...Further studies are showing that the much-feared small fry of Rock Pythons and Burmese Pythons are closer to reality in the Florida Keys... Super Snakes and Killer Bees are providing more great names for rock bands and further signs of the Apocalypse. BUNNIES RULE THE WORLD or at least SWEDEN...Swarms of rabbits are being killed, frozen and converted to biofuel for heating homes in Sweden...No really, this is true! Check out:Swedish Rabbits make Biofuel . Traveling through Socorro, New Mexico last week, we were surprised to see a street named WAL STREET...until we noticed the street led to a huge WAL-FART megacenter. Just for the fun of it...Negro, NEGRO, negro, NeGrO, nEgRo, negro, Negro! And, repeat...Negro, NEGRO, negro, NeGrO, nEgRo, negro, Negro! Here's a surprise from last night, THE GOLDEN GLOBS names AVATAR as the most amazing blah blah blah movie e-v-e-r...This move-eye is so exciting in fact, that an Albuquerque woman was shot while watching Avatar at a theater. Turns out a guy who brought his revolver to the show(why not?), had dropped his gun from his pocket. The gun (22.mm) hit the floor banging off a shot that grazed the woman's ankle. The man leaped up and yelled," WHO'S SHOOTING OFF FIREWORKS? ", then ran from the theater. He was later caught by Albuquerque Police Department officers.  GUMBY at BunnytownUSA In honor of Gumby creator, Art Clokey who died this month at age 88. ART CLOKEY first created Gumby for the Howdy Doody Show . FRESHCHAOS QUOTE OF THE MOMENTO:"I am Blacker than Obama!" Rod Blagojevich. regarding this, he comes up with "I'm not that stupid"...Whatever, he's still a rod of blagojevich anyway you cut it. Hey...MOVE YOUR MONEY! No, You MOVE yours! Ah, ain't got none left to MOVE. An nterestin' movement to take folks' moolah out of the BIG banks is afoot . Will this move the street as well? Nah.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
A nudder sign of the apocalypse: Brett FahhhVraaah appears to be CLEAN-shaven for the Cowboys game; it would appear that his peachy smooth face is working as the Vikes are bustin' loose in the first half..
Our Dallas area General Staffer, Major League, writes: here is a short but informative about the history of blogging.
How many years now for freshchaos? [Approx. ten years] Is there an anniversary date for the first posting? [ We began in late 1999; first started using Blogger and still have 'archives' from 12/2000.] A link to the FRESHCHAOS Archives: 12/2000-present.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Last night, we watched TAKING WOODSTOCK followed by viewing WOODSTOCK, the Director's cut...With a tad of synchronicity a friend of a friend sent us this story today written for his Facebook page. When asked if we could publish it here for your entertainment, he said, "Whatever. All the children have grown up a long time ago and as far as I know none are planning to run for office."
Filth, drugs, and madness in Kalamazoo. by Dario Garcia: Key West, Florida The road between Kalamazoo and North Muskegon was under construction for hundred mile stretches at a time with only one lane open each way, separated by Giant concrete dividers like wedges in the roadway. Vehicles of all shapes and sizes hurtled by in the blackness at ungodly speeds; Semi-trucks loaded with consumer goods shared the road with pick-up trucks and economy cars, and the latter would shake and rattle when the former careened by. I don’t remember what we were driving, but it was small and boxy and red and not made in The Motor City.The way I saw it our chances were fifty-fifty to make it home in one piece. We had so far survived an experience that might have killed or driven lesser men insane and we still had hundreds of miles till home. Every few miles, on the side of the road, we would scream past burnt-out hulks; mangled vehicles; victims of head-on collisions, their roofs shorn open with the “jaws of life” to extract the occupants. It was as if Michigan herself was taking revenge on the foreign models for causing the collapse of the state’s failing economy. Oddly, all the wrecks seemed to be red, or around the same size and shape of our little dingy; us having no more business to be out on that highway then a dinghy had rowing around in the international shipping lanes. We were going to see a football game. Western Michigan was playing and my friend was an alumnus and still had friends where we could crash. The football game was forgettable; I think Western lost. A bunch of us decided to drop acid, and figured we would just hang around his friends’ house for the duration of the trip. The LSD turned out to be much stronger then we had anticipated and it soon became clear that there was no way on earth we could stay in the same room as the guys who lived in the house. It was your typical Three hundred fifty pound guy who sits around the house and enjoys farting up the stench from that afternoon’s meal of microwavable burritos on his cronies’. I found a bag of potatoes in the kitchen cupboard that had rotted through the floor. You could not distinguish between the rot from the potatoes, and the rot from the bowels of the resident couch potato. There was a small fenced-in pond and forest behind the condo complex and we decided to just hang out in the swamp. It was really eerie. There was a greenish mist that hung on the ground. We sat on our haunches on the banks of the pond, and being that it was a full moon we had great light when the drugs started to really kick in. As I mentioned this was strong blotter, and before we knew it we could not see our hands in front of our faces for all the hallucinations we were having. Everyone became Indians for a while, or cave men, running amok getting filthy, boots ruined with black foul smelling mud. Mike quickly got naked and completely covered himself from head to toe in the noxious stuff, and he was a sight. He had twigs and leaves stuck to the mud from where he had rolled around on the ground, and he just smiled from ear to ear and seemed so completely peaceful. He was carrying some flowers around; at least I thought they were flowers, they could have been anything now come to think about it. The problem when you are that high is that you have no idea whether or not what you are seeing or hearing is real, or illusion. The part of your brain, that runs those functions we take for granted on a sort of autopilot, has been disconnected. Completely engulfed in the minutia of a moment and what you are looking at, you now lack the schema built up from years of experience to make sense of what you are seeing; temporarily, Your brain does not “remember” how things taste and smell. It is as if you are seeing the world for the first time, but also everything is all so familiar. You might be happily playing in the swamp believing you were a tree or a bit of mud on the ground, and have never thought about where it was you actually were; in this case a wastewater run-off catch from a Dow chemical plant. The company made it to resemble a little fenced in pond with some acreage around it, but that was all scenery. We were all just a bunch of blithering idiots playing around in the middle of the night at what amounts to a toxic sewage pipe. I think that if we had realized that we would have been seriously freaked out, which would not have been good given our present state. We found out eventually when we climbed another fence and ended up in a nice little playground with slides and swings and ladders, and eventually, after a few hours the drugs kicked into their medium state, that being about half of the initial Peaking, and when we were able to read the English language again, we could read that this playground was given to the community by Dow Chemicals, along with a big sign that posted no trespassing. No one could stop laughing or finish a sentence. For hours we just sat on the swings and fooled around on the monkey bars and our ribs hurt from laughing so much and so hard. Eventually we all got this sort of foul itch at the back of our throats and became convinced we were poisoned, which only made us laugh harder. We washed off as best we could in the hose in the back yard in the October weather and went inside to get warm. This is when it became clear that we could not stay where we were. The toxic run-off swamp was infinitely fresher then that pit of male post-adolescence, and now there was added to the bouquet the subtle smells of alcohol and stale vomit. It was time to leave, which is why we found ourselves hurtling down that deadly highway in the middle of the night, trying to get back to Mike’s parents house; Mike driving like a pro as the road streamed into the car and our minds and we hoped that as long as we followed our instincts and kept our cool everything would be all right. That is as long as we didn’t get pulled over, cause if we did there was no way in hell that after shining his flashlight in our eyes he would have any questions about what we had been doing for the last few hours. So there we were. It was pretty grim; grim in the way cowboys in old westerns were grim; grim and determined. We just wanted to make it home alive and tonight. All those wrecks on the side of the road, and that rain from hell that that been steadily increasing till it was now just white sheets, was taking a toll on our buzz,and by now we were each deep in our own heads or listening to the radio; Not much talking, just a grunt and maybe a giggle now and then. Suddenly out of nowhere there is a figure running out into the middle of the road ahead. He is covered in red blood that stands out in the headlights like paint and he is waving his arms over his head trying desperately to wave us down. We glance at each other in that Blue Brothers way, and I think both Mike and I were weighing what we should do. Obviously the guy was in real distress, but we were in no shape to talk to a stranger, or be responsible for taking him to the hospital, or seeing his dead girlfriend that he had drug out of the car only to die in his arms; and we were so high. We pulled over. What could we do? The guy obviously needed some real help. We pulled over onto the shoulder and this rag-tag little deadhead, completely drenched in blood, is leaning in to our car saying please, please help me. “We just hit a deer and my girlfriend won’t ride in the car that killed the poor animal, and I was wondering if you would give us a ride to the next gas station”. We say okay. I’m thinking SHEESH MAN! You nearly gave us heart attacks… he gets in the car. We are completely silent as we drive up the road to where the sacred animal has been slaughtered and waits with the princess. They hadn’t quite totaled-out their car, but that little doe had put a pretty good dent in the grill. The deer was slung over the hood of his car, and I believe it was their intention of driving the deer to the gas station, though that makes no sense really. Our little hippy buddy helps His visibly shaken, but luckily uninjured girlfriend; huddled under an Indian parka like Pocahontas, get into the back seat and we drove off. A few miles down the road mike and I made the mistake of making eye contact and there was this unspoken understanding about the strangeness of what was happening. What did these people think of us? We were covered in swamp mud, and we would occasionally look back into the rearview mirror and sort of chuckle in an unwholesome way. Maybe it was the release of stress, or the drugs, or the situation, but both Mike and I started to snigger. We were trying to hold it back yet the harder we tried the more it became a compulsion. The snigger became a giggle that became a halting laugh that became a wholehearted laugh that rocked us to our guts and made our ribs hurt and took our breath from laughing so hard, which made it difficult to stay on the road. We must have really freaked-out our little deadhead couple, because they got out of that car so fast at the rest–stop, one would have thought that killing a deer, and being covered in it's blood was not the scariest thing that happened to them that evening. We finally made it home and threw our clothes and shoes in the washing machine, made some sandwiches and retired to his old bedroom where I curled up in my sleeping bag on the couch and read comic books as the sun came up in the east. Mom came down at some point and asked whether or not we had a good time. We said we had, and we were not lying.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Our Correspondent, Major League, writes: The Haitian tragedy provokes deep issues regarding life on this earth, whether God exists and why this happened, and what in any event we can do about it...In this article, Our Very Difficult Home:Planet Earth, Laurie Fendrich writes: People sending money to Haiti do not share the Earth's indifference--we're not going anywhere, earthquakes notwithstanding.
Major League also notes: Pat Robertson's remarks about Haiti are an abomination. League recommends this article about the real reasons Haiti is a political and economic mess...Pat Robertson is No Joke
Thursday, January 14, 2010
GOT DREAMS?
2nd Lt FUBAR sends us this:Read about this in New Yorker article about nightmares and dreams. Pretty cool...DREAM BANK .
More signs of the Apocalypse...JUST-in from SpaceWeather.com:->ANNULAR SOLAR ECLIPSE: The Moon is about to pass directly in front of the sun, producing an annular solar eclipse on Jan. 15th between 0500 and 0900 GMT. The zone of visibility stretches from Africa across the Indian Ocean to eastern Asia. Onlookers in those places should be alert for crescent-shaped shadows on the ground and "ring of fire" suns in the sky...[Ah, that won't be us in the us-a but...]
Unless you've been living in your mother's basement without tv or internet, there is no way you haven't heard of the earth shattering disastrous news occurring this week. Yes, soon daily headlines will be coming in on the airwaves and in periodicals straight from the horse's mouth and get paid to blah-dee-blah, blah on FOX snewz...Sarah Palindrome will soon be a foxie Fox commentator...
The worer disaster news from Haiti is beyond belief and comprehension...A whole city demolished...50-100,000 feared dead in early estimates...Help is outpouring and now on the way. It is not too far out of reality's grim realm that instead of Haiti, an earthquake of this magnitude could've just as readily cracked open in many parts of the US of A. Scary. No TSA screening can save us from this future possibility. And unlike Katrina, there would be no advance warning at all (except for all the scientists who have been predicting such a disaster for decades now. In fact since 1906...so that makes their future predictions a century in coming. Are we due for DOOM and destruction on our own shorelines... {UPDATE:Brutally sunburned and somber, Brian Williams reports live from Haiti tonight...The tragedy is beyond belief.]
Monday, January 11, 2010
Monday Night Chaos
Well, Sunday Night and Monday Night Football games are gone for the year, but things are as chaotic as ever in the world this Monday Night... First off...but wait THESE JUST IN OH MY GOD NOOOOO....Simon Cowell says that this will be his last season on "American Idol."...And,Former Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire admits using steroids in 1998 when he broke Roger Maris' home run mark. Ok, now; First Off for this episode of MNC... Is Harry Reid a racist? Nah. He just likes that Gato Negro vino too much. And the US CENSUS is not taking a back seat to the whole Negro enchilada: Question NUMBER NINE at your doorstep this year is Are you or have you ever been BLACK, AFRICAN AMERICAN or NEGRO? Second up... Is having a big red bird decal on your bumpersticker GAY or are the Arizona Cardinals the new IT bird? BREASTon, BREASToff... it's the BREASTER! Arizona has a great receiver with a funny name: Breaston. 51-45 the final score - more like ladies' roundball than an NFL wildcard playoff game. Is the billion and some Palace in Dallas gonna pay off with the Doll's ass Cowgirls dancing this year? Next weekend's the time to watch as much NFL teevee as you can stand. Sorry 'bout the cheese packers, Todd, but... Loggerheads are freezing up and iguanas are still falling from trees in Floreedah. Is it the end of the world as we know it for reptiles ... and amphibians, too? And next year's OJ is gonna be pricey. Go Anita Bryant. Does Amerika still start the day with a tall glass of OJ? Or is that a thing of the past? Too much for the old acid flashback reflux capacitors? Got Tang? KUDOS to the NEW JOHN OLIVER comedy stand up show, Fridays on Comedy Central. Excellent premiere last Friday night featuring himself, as well as other comics, including the very funny MARIA BAMFORD and EUGENE MIRMAN ... Along with WANDA SYKES on FOX, there's finally some teevee for the stay at home weekender. (SNL note for Lorne Michaels: Charles Barkley ain't the greatest of teleprompter readers.) JOLT COLA: now PEPSI THROWBACK? Pepsi has a new product with REAL SUGAR... I recall thinking JOLT was out there with all the (real) sugar and twice the caffeine. However, a throwback to me always was a fish too small to keep. Sounds like a good thing to throw back them new Pepsi's. (Pepsi does have some nads hawking real sugar in the time of the so-called obesity epidemic!) US Vets' Suicide Rate Jumps. Nuff said. Bring Peace Home ... please. It's the odd wording, stupid. Seen recently: ANEMIC ratings for Jay Leno show. Stephanie Pratt of MTV's The Hills doesn't get a speeding ticket... noooo... she gets a charge against her for "EXHIBITION OF SPEED"... Oooh. Santa Fe, The City Different, truly is a different world for the neighbor of a man in who is suing her for not turning off her cell phone and wireless internet. One ARTHUR FIRSTENBERG has a problem with electro-magnetic fields. Has unsuccessfully tried to have City Different be truly different and not have any wireless nothin' in public buildings. Claims his neighbor's insensitivity to his extreme sensitivity has forced him on occasion to sleep in his car. So, that works?! The U.S. NEW MEXICO has been delivered to the Navy. America's sixth Virginia-class submarine weighs in at 7,800 tons and is the most advanced nuclear-powered sub in the world. Go Nuevo Meheeko! Note to ROSEBOWL folks... Please avoid nighttime teevee games next year OR get more lights. We are so spoiled by NFL and HD red-carpeted sports tv world, that this year's Championship NCAA game was in the dark by comparison. And what were those black 'oil gushers' hanging off the longhorns on the Texass players' helmets? And that cut-glass football trophy is a tad too sweet, if you get our drift. Oooh cut-glass and it comes off the stand... sooo kiss-able. That same game provided the FRESHCHAOS QUOTE OF THE MOMENT: "I am not in pain; my arm is dead." Colt McCoy, future NFL prospect no more? Didja know that Dominos Pizza tastes like Cardboard?...Stephen Colbert noticed these new ads which say that and are run by Dominos themselves, and now Slate takes them on...They are weird for sure... Ex-Bishop Donald Pelote died last week. He was the first RC Native American Bishop (Four Corners area). He had to take a leave of absence for falling down his stairs. The local police and hospital thought he'd been attacked, but The Church maintained he fell. He later reported that ALIENS were in his house. Then he retired. Will his true story ever be known? A recent national poll has indicated that DOGS rule over CATS as most popular pet in US of A. This poll also found that "Blacks, Hispanics, and married men like cats the least." Today's Palin-drome (anagram... whatevah...) YEMEN=ENEMY Happy Birthday to AMANDA PEET. (Born 01/11/1972) Speaking of Amanda Blow... President Obama has appointed Amanda Simpson, to be the Senior Technical Adviser to the Commerce Department. MS. AMANDA SIMPSON, may be the first transgendered person appointed to federal office. Or not. Still, a gigantic leap for the world of transgendered folks. In local news gone sour: Along with her personal belongings, a New Mexico funeral home delivered a grandmother's brain to the grieving family last week. A lawsuit is underway. In sweet and sour news: Bottles of honey in a suitcase caused a major airport shutdown. Oooh, honey...  D'OH! Homer scores 450th episode!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
So, about those iguanas falling from trees in not-so-sunny Floriday-o ...
And in other exciting Floridian WILDlife news ... great white playing with its food
Saturday, January 09, 2010
JUST-IN:->Our Dallas correspondent, Major League, says that he is anticipating...
This also just in but it was a few weeks ago, from our ever-faithful Doctor Xtreme...A Siamese twin commits murder: the Explainer's 2009 question of the year.
They used to call it , The Bold New City of the South...Today some good news and bad news for Jacksonville, Florida where tonight it is freezing:
The bad Snewz:Snow:Central Florida Good Snewz:JB in JAX And a Major Quake strikes California...Damage, power outages reported after 6.5-magnitude earthquake off the coast of northern California.
Friday, January 08, 2010
Thursday, January 07, 2010
On this, the night of the craziest BCS Championship game E-V-E-R, we take a time out to say...
TO AIR JORDAN!  Air Jordan 11 years old Our Schipperke, AIR JORDAN, was born 1/7/1999 in Pollock, South Dakota. He lived on Minot Air Force Base, North Dakota for a year or so... Then he was rescued by Sandy Church and lived at her Oleo Ranch in Montana and then briefly in Colorado before coming to the high desert of New Mexico. We adopted him 9/7/2001. We've never looked back... although we looked down the street a few times in his youth when he lived up to his moniker and jumped the front fence... and the side fence...  Capnchaos wrestles an alligator GO GATORS...oh yeah, they already went!
THIS JUST-IN...Not quite a TEA PARTY:3 Dead, 4 Wounded In St. Louis Plant Shooting...Authorities now say three people are dead and four are wounded after a man armed with an assault rifle and a handgun opened fire at a St. Louis manufacturing plant.
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