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Friday, April 30, 2010
Jeff Hartzer created in the year 2000.

With the help of the CHAOS GENERAL STAFF, capnchaos has kept a steady hand on this mystery ship's helm from 2000-2010. While there will be no new entries posted here, you can have a BIG cup-a-java and check out the 3,289 posts of fresh chaos from an amazing decade at our archives:

Freshchaos Archives:
2000-2010 is hosted by Aquila Arts, LLC

Great expectations from a reader: I am disappointed! Fresh Chaos Is the Bomb ! ~ Oh well, I will expect something else great from you...

We look forward to seeing you at the future fair.


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Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Travel Warnings Issued: The Mexican government has issued warnings to its citizens to use EXTREME CAUTION if visiting Arizona USA. Some are suggesting a boycott of Tempe, Az.-based U.S.Airways, The PHX SUNS, and the Arizona Diamondbacks. Oh yeah, and a visit to the Grand Canyon is no longer politically correct.

Meanwhile, we are setting the ocean on fire out in the Gulf of Mexico as the slimy surge of still-pumping-from-under-the-ocean OIL SPEWAGE heads toward Florida and Louisiana.

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Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Another sign of the apocalypso: JIMMY BUFFETT has his very own kiosk at Wal*Mart. And etiquette expert Emily Post died, so time to get rude. And today the The Dow closed 213 points down, its worst day in months, after Europe's debt crisis intensified. Oh, and by the way, Mona Lisa was a man.

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Monday, April 26, 2010

On A Monday was a great song by Ry Cooder; Monday, Monday even greater song by the Ma's and Pa's. We've had fun with our Monday Night Chaos series over the decade. Taking a queue from Monday Night Football and throwing off our Case of the Mondays with glee, we let our hair down on more than a few Monday nights. "Monday Night Chaos" originally appeared as the title for a weekly column on a New England-based website run by Matt Fotter, back in the early days of the world wide web. Tonight Monday Night Chaos is a wrap.

Why IS April the cruelest month? At least the droughts of March have pierced the roots and all. (That's a T.S. Eliot reference followed by a Chaucer reference, for those of you keeping literary score!)

Is it easier to be OFF the world wide web than ON it? Just GO GOOGLE yourself! And thanks, Dick Cheney, for letting us say Go fuck yourself! out loud.

Another Kentucky Derby hits the tracks this Saturday, and this year we have a new Kentucky Derby hat to wear. Found it last week for 99 cents at (where else?) Albuquerque's Thrifttown #4.

The South Park Controversy of this week may pass... But it begs the question, "Can we even mention the name Muhammed here?" Oh, just did.

Nothing more NAZI than "Show me your papers!" lamented SNL's Seth Meyers about the latest snewz from Arizona regarding it's anti-illegal immigration law. "It's a dry fascism, but it's still fascism," he opined. (If we "legals" do have to carry "papers," will identity theft rates rise?) Interesting to see what the future holds for our borders here in New Mexico, where supposedly we love diversity. The future in general seems a bit clouded lately with all the spilled tea party mess, worldwide volcano grist, Sarah Paleface 24/7/365, exploding offshore oil derricks no longer able to drill, baby. And still there's hope: You can not buy Girl Scout Cookies online. Is that the only thing you can not buy online?

A record slow start to the tornado season made up for lost time this week when Mississippi got walloped hard. The folks at the Weather Channel are standing by for more fresh chaos.

Currenty an un-capped oil well is belching an estimated
42,000 gallons of crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico daily
...Cancel that Florida vacation in Nokomis.

SAY IT AIN'T SO... DEXTER MORGAN has CANCER! Michael C. Hall is fortunately recovering from a huge battle with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. It's not on your 'basic' cable, but DEXTER has to be one of the best shows of recent years, up there with THE WIRE. Don't know how The Wire's producers will do with their new New Orleans based drama, TREME. In our opinion Tom Hanks has bombed out on his HBO series, THE PACIFIC. Sorry, Tom.

116 murdered in Chicago recently compares to 127 U.S. soldiers killed in Afghanistan/Iraq during the same time frame. Local leaders are talking about calling in the National Guard to help. The National Guard doesn't have that great a hitorical rep in the city of Chicago. Speaking of violence, the freaking Supreme Court will soon be deciding if violent games can be kept from those under 18. VIOLENCE is the new OBSCENITY.

The U.S. GOV has a new website to explain changes in the minting of new bills. Visit: NEW MONEY dot gov.

An historic lawsuit is unfolding just now against Wal*Mart on behalf of female employees.

We still think that Michelle Obama looks like Elizabeth Montgomery... with lots of melanin.

Snazziest Roadster Watch: Col. Doctor X sends us this link to the Ariel Atom 3, which has the performance of a Ferrari, the style of a Formula One race car, and all the luxuries of a Razor scooter.

Best basic cable tv show of the momento is still Breaking Bad, richly filmed in Albuquerque and shown on the AMC network. Go Walt, go!

Our favorite North Florida rocker, TOM PETTY, turns 60 in October and this month begins a huge tour in honor of his upcoming cd called, MOJO . He even made this week's PARADE MAGAZINE with a cover story (who needs to be on the Rollingstone cover anymore?) by Ben Fong-Torres (well known as a Rollingstone writer). Petty is one of our favorite singer-songwriters of all time and a particular favorite song for the momento is found in this ditty, which is oh so true.

It's Good To Be King

It's good to be king,
if just for a while
To be there in velvet,
yeah, to give 'em a smile
It's good to get high,
and never come down
It's good to be king
of your own little town

Yeah, the world
would swing
if I were king
Can I help it if I
still dream time to time

It's good to be king
and have your own way
Get a feeling of peace
at the end of the day
And when your bulldog barks
and your canary sings
You're out there with winners,
yeah, it's good to be king

Yeah I'll be king
when dogs get wings
Can I help it if I
still dream time to time

It's good to be king
and have your own world
It helps to make friends,
It's good to meet girls
A sweet little queen
who can't run away
It's good to be king,
whatever it pays

Excuse me if I
have some place in my mind
Where I go
time to time

Tom Petty (Gone Gator Music)

Many thanks to our readers and to the CHAOS GENERAL STAFF for helping me be the KING OF FRESHCHAOS for over a decade...Special thanks to 2nd. Lt. FUBAR, Major League, Col.Doc X., and our many anonymous Black OPS contributors...Jeff Hartzer.

Jeff Hartzer

anthony miller

josiah daniel
Mrs.& Mr. Major League

Paul Kantner
2nd Lt. FUBAR and Paul Kantner

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Thursday, April 22, 2010
As FRESHCHAOS gallops across its finish line, Maj. League, a sometimes contributor, has these remarks:

I. Tribute to the Cap'n

Those of us who have been privileged to read and experience FreshChaos in real time over the past ten years owe a debt of gratitude to the originator/editor/protagonist/creator Cap'n Chaos. For the benefit of literary historians of the future, this blog is the successor to the Cap'n's first series, which was in paper and was titled THE CHAOS NEWSLETTER. The Cap'n is quite an archivist, among his many other attributes; I believe he has the full run of that predecessor, paper publication; and it is to be hoped that the collection will find its way into a good literary archive someday.

And the electronic has well followed and enlarged upon the original paper series, with eclectic and mind-expanding admixtures of poetry and other literature, primarily from the Cap'n's own oeuvre; current events; art and culture in all aspects; politics of the best sort; and of course good humor and wit. Ten year's worth, yes, but still "So much CHAOS, so little time..." is not, we are told, going away; it's just being crystalized or frozen as if in a sort of electronic amber. So that is good. But it is ending in that there will be no new posts, and I, for one, will miss that. I know the Cap'n has other outlets for his rather prodigious talents and other horizons loom ahead for him, but at this moment I have to say I'm feeling a little saddened or nostalgic.

I want here to thank him for the ten years and for occasionally publishing my posts and items. It has been a good ride.

But the credit is due also in very large measure to 2nd Lt. Fubar, who has not only enabled this project in very many ways but also has added her own trenchant commentaries and remarks from time to time. So thank you too.

II. Current Ruminations of Maj. League

Coming off a long and arduous project now, after about 16 months of "hard labor," and with "the spring comin' on," I find myself singing over and over a song by Robert Earl Keen. The lyrics are worthy of study and exegesis, but in a nutshell the songwriter points out the three things that make us all "feel good again": music, community of kindred spirits, and relationship with the one we love.

"Feeling Good Again" by Robert Earl Keen

Standin' down on Main Street
Across from Mr. Blues
In my faded leather jacket
And my weathered brogan shoes
A chill north wind was blowin'
But the spring was comin' on
As I wondered to myself
Just how long I had been gone

So I strolled across old Main Street
Walked down a flight of stairs
Stepped into the hall
And saw all my friends were there
A neon sign was flashin' "Welcome come on in"
It feels so good feelin' good again

My favorite band was playin'
An Otis Redding song
When they sang the chorus
Everybody sang along
Dan and Margarita
were swayin' side by side
I heard they were divorcin'
But I guess they let it slide
And I wished I had some money with
which to buy a round
I wished I'd cashed my paycheck
Before I came to town
But I reached into my pocket
Found three twenties and a ten
It feels so good feelin' good again

There was old man Perkins
Sittin' on his stool
Watchin' Butch and Jimmy John
Talkin' loud and playin' pool
The boys from Silver City
Were standin' by the fire
Singin' like they thought
they were the Tabernacle choir
And I wanted you to see them all
I wished that you were there
I looked across the room
and saw you standin' on the stair
And when I caught your eye
I saw you break into a grin
It feels so good feelin' good again!

-Maj. League

How does the future fair look today...Pick a Tarot card and see...

free tarot readings

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Monday, April 19, 2010
The Pope had a birthday this week AND he actually cried real tears while listening to some adult men who were abused by RC priests...Calls to mind a poem I wrote in the 80's about crying real tears...


I saw my mother in a mirror set up to keep me isolated
I have never liked systems
I worked eight years in a system
where kids were dollar signs
and teachers pawns
I quit that job and started to laugh again
I spent a lot of time with my gandmother as a child
I played with antique walnut blocks creating cities and trains
I know friends who are drowning in comfort
I have watched the great crawl to cocktails and weekends
You get what you need and I need to sing
I need to sing
whether or not it's a weekday
whether or not my grandmother is alive
whether or not silver platters come in clouds
whether or not I really want to go on with the rest of my life
I have heard the great psychic cry for help from America
from my best friend
from men
from women and children
first and last
and my own voice is hoarse from my scream that comes at dawn
The more my spiritual sponge soaks up the cosmic good
the more clear I am about my need
to sing my song
to begin on the floor with walnut blocks snaked into trains
to see that
I am a well-kept secret heading true north to somewhere
hidden in dreams of day and night that surprise me
from time to time like
herons on railings in rain
porpoises in the night
or the dream I had
about the Pope
I went to supper with him first
then we went to a United Nations meeting and the Pope
jumped around on the Chinese and Russian diplomatic tables
and as we left Ringo Starr sang
and the Pope held me on the sidewalk
and I cried real tears for peace and
I spoke about reaching out through music
You get what you need
I need to sing
and peace will not come dropping slow by itself
and peace will not come on white death trains carrying rockets
and peace will come from divine beings with true compassion
and peace will come with the voice of angels
I must gladly learn and gladly teach
and peace will come with humor
and a desire to BREAK DOWN THE WALLS
And kings and bishops
priests and presidents
must gladly learn and gladly speak
with the laughter of love
and the music of their heart
because HOLY VISION must prevail
and the Pope must hug the poets
crying real tears for peace
while somebody sings IT DON'T COME EASY
You get what you need
I need to sing
I need your love
I love I love I love I love you
I'm on my way to Paradise
where I always get what I need
where I am re-entering the landscape
where a growing confidence in myself
gives me the freedom
to play
to let go
to flow without a script
to ad lib the music
to breathe deep the poetry
to sing my blessed song

© 2010
Jeff Hartzer

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Thursday, April 15, 2010

Tax time cyber SCAM ALERTdetails and what to watch out for now...

Volcanic Ash Halts Air Traffic Across Europe...All flights at London's Heathrow Airport have been suspended for the rest of the
day, causing travel chaos as ash clouds from Iceland's spewing volcano halts
air traffic across Europe.

So you need a freezer to put your divorced mom into?

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Wednesday, April 14, 2010
2nd Lt. FUBAR bid FreshChaos a fond farewell:

Ah, what a decade it was, through which and Jon Stewart guided me. The world did not end at the changing of the Millennium, but somehow we elected W. (or not) and then we elected him again, apparently because Chaos, fresh or stale is better than being bored to death. Who'd have thought that someone named Gore could be so unexciting as a politician? Changing to "2000" on our computers didn't f@&k up our banking system, but selling abstract and ultimately worthless "assets" by the financial system itself sure did the deed. And somehow a song by the Talking Heads from 2-3 decades earlier fit in nicely with the times. Indeed, we got computers, we're tapping phone lines; know that that ain't allowed. Now it's 2010 and we are still at war, in Iraq, in Afghanistan, and the civil war of current punditry. I may be a clueless (gasp) liberal, but somehow I feel more hopeful with the Obamanator at the helm. Where DO we go from here?

LIFE DURING WARTIME (copyright 1979) by the Talking Heads

Heard of a van that is loaded with weapons
Packed up and ready to go
Heard of some gravesites, out by the highway
A place where nobody knows
The sound of gunfire, off in the distance
I'm getting used to it now
Lived in a brownstone, lived in the ghetto
I've lived all over this town

This ain't no party, this ain't no disco,
This ain't no fooling around
No time for dancing or lovey dovey
I ain't got time for that now

Transmit the message to the receiver
Hope for an answer some day
I got three passports, couple of visas
Don't even know my real name
High on a hillside, trucks are loading
Everything's ready to roll
I sleep in the daytime, I work in the nightime
I might not ever get home

This ain't no party, this ain't no disco
This ain't no fooling around
This ain't no Mudd Club, or C.B.G.B.
I ain't got time for that now

Heard about Houston? Heard about Detroit?
Heard about Pittsburgh, PA?
You oughta know not to stand by the window
Somebody see you up there
I got some groceries, some peanut butter
To last a couple of days
But I ain't got no speakers, ain't got no headphones
Ain't got no records to play

Why stay in college? Why go to night school?
Gonna be different this time?
Can't write a letter, can't send a postcard
I can't write nothing at all
This ain't no party, this ain't no disco
This ain't no fooling around
I'd love to hold you, I'd like to kiss you, but
I ain't got no time for that now

Trouble in transit, got through the roadblock
We blend in with the crowd
We got computers, we're tapping phone lines
Know that that ain't allowed
We dress like students, we dress like housewives
Or in a suit and a tie
Changed my hairstyle so many times now
don't know what I look like!

You make me shiver, I feel so tender
We make a pretty good team
Don't get exhausted, I'll do some driving
You oughta get you some sleep
Burned all my notebooks. What good are notebooks?
They won't help me survive
My chest is aching, burns like a furnace
The burning keeps me alive

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JUST-in from a reader...Alas Fresh Chaos, we knew you well. You were a noble and an always informative blog.

You will definitely be missed by those of us who checked to see what was going on according to Also those who made an occasional contribution were always happy and proud to see our measly messages on the WORLD WIDE WEB for all to see.

Whose blog do we read regularly now?

Dr. Muddawg (soon to be retired also)

Meanwhile, the earth is quaking and baking in China and the Fresh Chaos continues. Obama and the Russ-kies solve the world's NUKE problems, while in Albuquerque there are two TEA PARTY events on April 15, one of which is not an official Tea Party event, but is calling itself one. Damn those tea party people. Can't they just do java with cream and sugar?

Bryan Cranston was great on the Daily Show this week and truly Br Ba on AMC is one of the best tv shows ever... Yes, all filmed here in 'Burqueville.

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Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Tuesday Morning Wrap

The SERIES FINALE OF LIFE will be shown next week in HD and after that LIFE is over.

It's all over in Texas...If you missed it, here are the latest links to view the Texas Stadium implosion. Hope no one locked Jerry inside the place.

In 16 days this weblog will implode. No new entries will be entered at after May 1, 2010. Comments? Email us. Tell us what you thought about this DECADE: 2000-2010.

Check out the latest Government chaos at

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Monday, April 05, 2010

Hispanic Cultural Center in Heavy Smoke

Hispanic Cultural Center and Bosque Skyline

Albuquerque was immersed in heavy smoke today during a BOSQUE FIRE

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Sunday, April 04, 2010
The Big One Comes to California...?
Latest Snewz on the BAJA Earthquake which has tremored the USA west coast including mostly that other California...Baja.

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Monday, March 29, 2010
MONDAY NIGHT FRESHCHAOS-1/2 X's Elite Eight Edition

There comes a time as you are sailing a boat on your tack into the wind, when you must yell READY ABOUT, swing the tiller over sharply, swinging the boat into the wind. You then say, HARD TO LEE, and swing the boat further to the other side of the wind.

It is an exciting time when the sails empty of wind and flutter, only to come full again and swing the boom across the sailboat...Soon you are on another tack in another direction. That moment or two when your boat is directly faced into the wind and comes to a momentary standstill is THE MOPST DANGEROUS TIME for a skipper. It is a time when often unsuspecting crew have been knocked silly by the boom (which holds down the bottom side of the sail) swings around and the sail fills again.

As we approach a full moon in a changing season this Monday night, it's a time for meditation. A time of luffing the sails and sitting still before being carried off into new directions by your re-filling sails the new direction...

Think you were wrong or a genius on your NCAA brackets...How did it go for President O's Bracket?

It's Holy Passover, Batman, Week... What if God was one of us?

If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with him
In all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?

*And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that
you would have to believe
in things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints
and all the prophets

Trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome

Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome

[Thanks to Joan Osborne for a great tune; deceptively simple.]

FRESHCHAOS QUOTE OF THE MOMENTO..."Until you can feel someone else's pain, you can't love anybody."

Most smashing fight of the week...Durrell--Abraham on Showtime had Abraham swatting Durrell while he was down on the mat...Almost killed the guy...

Coolest tv episode of the week...Br Ba (Breaking Bad) last night week two of the new season (it's 3rd)-amazingly awesome and actually funny this week. This is an awesome show and awesome to even be on tv...Certainly does not portray the Happy Happy family life depicted in most tv series. As residents of the town where it is filmed, it is fun to see the slight differences on cop cars (no emblem allowed in the tv show as it is trademearked by the Albuquerque officer who designed it). And BL:AKES LOTABURGER...great local American food...Ever had a Green Chile Cheeseburger? Thought not. Deelish.

Catch the latest rant from Bill Maher .

HAPPY ALMOST APRIL from good old Geoffrey Chaucer...
Try to read these lines aloud without bursting into laughter; not much else to be 'foolish' about in the world today or is there?

"Whan that Aprill with his shoures soote
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour
Of which vertu engendred is the flour,
Whan Zephirus eek with his sweete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tender croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halve cours yronne,
And smale foweles maken melodye,
That slepen al the nyght with open ye
(So priketh hem nature in hir corages),
Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages,
And palmers for to seken straunge strondes,
To ferne halwes, kowthe in sondry londes;
And specially from every shires ende
Of Engelond to Caunterbury they wende,
The hooly blissful martir for to seke,
That hem hath holpen whan that they were seeke."

From The Canterbury Tales : General Prologue

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Sunday, March 28, 2010
It is fun on occasion to look back at how you 'got to the here and now'.

One Spring I drove from my hometown in Jacksonville, Florida to Tennesse to 'take a hike'. A friend and I left the car at his family place in Pulaski (go KKK), Tn. and began a back-roads hike from there to to Sewanee (my alma mater: the University of the South)...Sewanee is on the Cumberland Plateau (2200 feet) and for a Florida Native, that was what I knew then as "mountains".

Soon after this trip, I began a process of quitting a prep school teaching job; moving to Tacoma, Washington; and in 1985 moving to Albuquerque. I wrote a poem about my hike to Pulaski and it captures the moment that led me to where I am now at BunnytownUSA in Albuquerque's South Broadway neighborhood, where today, it is supremely gorgeous Palm Sunday in a whole new millennium.

Here's that poem. I was not into punctuation in the 1980's...


palm sunday departure
simply the essence
a moment
keenly perceived
route sixty four

Jeff Hartzer
© 1981

Click for more Jeff Hartzer poems from that era.

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Recently we posted this at an Albuquerque based group blog called, the Duke City Fix...It was suggested that the column was more about Your Dog than about Albuquerque...So re-publishing it here cuz our D-O-G-S are friends of our B-U-N-N-I-E-S and we-are-all-together-now-in-Albquerque.

No, not the actual Duke of Albuquerque. And not THE DUDE who abides over at the Duke City Fix's Little Lebowskis Urban Achievers group. No, we're talking here about THIS DUKE:

DUKE, our Schipperke, now an Albuquerque resident for one full year.

Albuquerque is literally a crossroads town with two of our nation's largest east/west-:-north/south Interstates crossing at The Big I. Historically, airplanes have landed here for fuel on their cross-country journeys. My father, a USMC pilot in WWII, once told me, "Son, I landed in Albuquerque many a time, why do I need to go there again?" Thanks, Dad. Many folks tell me, "Yeah I drove through Albuquerque once." Two AMTRAK trains stop here daily with gaping passengers eyeballing the Sandias from their windows.

Many folks pass through; many move here; some folks hate the place; many love it and stay, even thrive here in the high desert. When my wife and I moved here from the Pacific Northwest in 1985, we weren't sure what to expect. When we first drove into the high desert, we noticed that the trees were a lot smaller than those in the northwest, but there wasn't any mold or rust. We love it here. And so does DUKE.

In March of 2009 when Duke and Holly came to join us, from a Dallas area couple who had to give up their pets, we weren't sure how they'd react to New Mexico. Also, it was not at all clear how they would deal with our elder Schips and our rabbits. All four of our Schipperkes are rescues. DUKE was born in Dallas; HOLLY was born in Mansfield, Missouri and lived in Charlottesville, Virginia before moving to Dallas. AIR JORDAN was born in Pollock, South Dakota, lived on Minot AFB, North Dakota, and was fostered in Montana and Colorado before coming here. MISS MELANIE was rescued from Hell, aka Yankton, South Dakota in spring of 2000. Each has adopted Albuquerque in his or her own way.

The Four Schippeteers at the gate in Albuquerque

None of the four seem to have taken to 'Burque as much as DUKE has done. By definition, The Duke truly abides ... accepts ... conforms ... is in accordance with ... is harmonious with ... melts into what is offered here in the high desert.

We set up a 'pond' for Duke on his arrival.

You can watch Duke blowing bubbles on YOUTUBE. YES, Duke blows bubbles underwater. Not since reading THE DOG WHO WOULDN'T BE by Farley Mowat as a child have I ever heard of a dog who would dunk his head under water, let alone blow bubbles. His first month here we had fun with goldfish, but the N.M. sunshine turned the 'pond' into an algae heaven and we gave it up for other amusements like DUKE ACROBATICS-DUKEROBATICS that is.

Duke's window on the world...


INSIGHTS ON The Duke ...he opens doors--opens windows--looks out blinds--has attacks of adorability--gazes at bunnies--chases chickens and pidgeons. he does every little thing with a full speed ahead attitude. He likes the altitude and attitude here apparently moreso than his Dallas home.

The Duke abides into people and chairs...

flying dog floors.

...and a favorite couch.

The Schipperke is a Belgian breed origanlly bred to chase rats/vermin on river-going barges. They are 'full of personality' and take a bit of owner patience. They are in my opinion as a life-long educator, the Gifted and Talented of dog breeds. If you place them in a well-lighted spot and can get them to hold still, they are a fun challenge to photograph. Schipperkes have a thick rough (coat) and love water...Duke thinks that having an aquarium in the high desert is a great concept.

Oh Boy, Oh Boy; Fish!

So calming:the ions, the bubbles, THE FISH.

There are RABBITS in there!

Let's Go!

Enjoying the outdoors at Tunnel Canyon.

Duke votes for his favorite at the Dog Show.

The TV (in HD with surround sound, of course) for the Dukester is an interactive experience: doorbells, strange knocks, the occasional creepy guy on screen who just has to be growled at, and, the creme de la creme, the dog show!

He's is always ready for a ride--enjoys a good pillow--drinks from fountains whenever possible--blows bubbles--jumps into Mom's arms--breaks kibble with friends--and loves the snow, the spring, the grass, everything in Albuquerque a-b-i-d-e-s, even balloons hissing gas...ooh, fun stuff to bark at. And spring winds: love 'em. More garbage to chase.

Not enough DUKE? Check out THE DUKE ABIDES Picasa gallery.

In other Satiddy Snewz:

We really got a taste of the Spring Winds this week with tumbleweeds tumbling and already a grassfire south of town. Latest chaos is that APS and every district in the state is up to their armpits in fear and debt for next year. In personal snews, someone pointed out to me that those basketball brackets I was filling out last Satiddy, should have been filled out BEFORE the NCAA tournament began, not as each game was played. Gosh, I felt so manly and with-it for a second.

Last night, Albuquerque scrapper, Holly Holm, knotched another win over Chevelle Hallback.

And today at The Pit...Albuquerque hosts the Rose Bowl of Bullishness-the Ty Murray PBR bull-riding event.

Filmed all over 'burque, Breaking Bad (AMC Sunday nights), makes a page in this month's Rolling Stone Magazine in an article called, Working Man's Dread (April 1, 2010 issue--Jimi Henrdrix on cover).

When the Albuquerque canyon winds blow, hang onto someone you love; hold tight.

[photography courtesy Aquila Arts LLC]

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Friday, March 26, 2010
Just in from NASA:Every day, a NASA infrared space telescope named "WISE" is discovering hundreds of previously unknown asteroids. The observatory is making a remarkable contribution to the census of dark space rocks that could potentially threaten Earth. Oh, Great...Read about asteroids headed our way.

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Online now for ten years with ye olde and the reactions are still not exactly pouring in...
Today though we got our tenth email letter (one for each year?) from Michael S...

After all the trouble your blog went through trying to compare George Bush to a monkey why are you so silent about the true monkey in the White House? Obama looks like a monkey, acts like a monkey and without his teleprompter he speaks like a monkey. In fact, it appears that Obama is as close to a monkey as possible. Yet I don't see your blog making the comparison. Could it be that it's too close to the truth and therefore not really funny?

DUH PRES was just too easy. Actually we didn't go to much trouble at all...Thanks for your input Michael S. wherever ye may be.

Here's the reference M.S. makes...Our now ancient Bush-Monkey Comparisons .

And here's more fun stuff from the good olde daze with W...

Our favorite.

So artsy he was.

Lovely Children.

Beloved Uncle Dick.

Maybe THE OBAMANATOR is more of a Monkey Man Rollingstones' style...though with all that stuff George snorted it's a toss-up.

(M. Jagger/K. Richards)

I'm a fleabit peanut monkey
All my friends are junkies
That's not really true

I'm a cold Italian pizza
I could use a lemon squeezer
What you do?

But I've been bit and I've been tossed around
By every she-rat in this town
Have you, babe?

Well, I am just a monkey man
I'm glad you are a monkey woman too

I was bitten by a boar
I was gouged and I was gored
But I pulled on through

Yes, I'm a sack of broken eggs
I always have an unmade bed
Don't you?

Well, I hope we're not too messianic
Or a trifle too satanic
We love to play the blues

Well I am just a monkey man
I'm glad you are a monkey, monkey woman
Monkey woman too, babe!

I'm a monkey! I'm a monkey!
I'm a monkey man! I'm a monkey man!
I'm a monkey! I'm a monkey! I'm a monkey! I'm a monkey!
Monkey! monkey! monkey!.......

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Thursday, March 25, 2010
A west-coaster sends us this one:A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet abovesea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat." "I am,"replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican." "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going.. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You've made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

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Sunday, March 21, 2010
GREAT OPENER to the first show of the NEW SEASON of Br Ba (Breaking Bad) on AMC tonight which is filmed in Albququerque.

And ah, in other snewz...Historic Health Bill passes.

The great healthcare reform battle of 2009 and 2010, for the most part, is over...In a 219 to 212 vote, the House today approved a bill enacted by the Senate last December that represents the most sweeping government initiative in healthcare since the creation of Medicare and Medicaid in 1965.The only thing it needs now is the signature of President Barack Obama to become the law of the land.

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jefferson airplane

When was the last time you ever listened to this song from the Jefferson Airplane's Bathing at Baxter's really loudly in your living room? Never. Your loss.

The Ballad Of You & Me & Pooneil
(P. Kantner)

If you were a bird and you lived very high,
knew even the wind as the breeze came by,
say to the wind as it took you away,
That's where I wanted to go today"
And I do know that I need to have you around
Love like a mountain springtime,
flashing through the rivers of my mind;
it's what I feel for you.
You and me go walking south
And we see all the world around us,
The colors blind my eyes and my mind to all but you,
And I do know that I need to have you around,
And I do, I do know that I need to have you around.
I have a house where I can go
When there's too many people around me;
I can sit and watch all the people
Down below goin' by me;
Halfway down the stair is a stair
Where I sit and think about you and me;
But I wonder will the sun still see all the people goin'
Will the moon still hang in the sky when I die,
When I die, when I'm high, when I die?
If you were a cloud and you sailed up there,
You sail on water as blue as air,
You'd see me here in the fields and say,
"Doesn't the sky look green today?"

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Saturday, March 20, 2010
OUCH...Not enough green chile verde in San Jose?
Not enough altitude at sea level?
Roman Martinez has to replace his bloodied shirt and takes four stitches to stay in a painful game where nothing seemed to fly for the 8th ranked team in the nation.

It was a one-sided affair with U Dub taking the Pac Ten to the Sweet 16; leaving the Lobos to heal the wounds of the final two games from this year's historic run at March Madness. And when the Kansas Jayhawks go down too, you know why it is called March Madness.
Thanks for a great year Lobos...So long, RO. We'll watch for you in the NBA.

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It's snowing (heavily-heavy snow?) in our fair city ...This winter, snow has successfully avoided the concrete/tarmac jungle of our high desert burg nestled in the sheltering armpit of the Sandia Mountains until today yes, the first day of spring. And our UNM LOBOS go to Round Two of the NCAA madness...Hopefully the snow is a sign from the roundball gods.

OMG! There's a new NEIL YOUNG movie .

This just in from NASA Science News...Tonight over Albuquerque, the crescent Moon and the Pleiades star cluster are gathering for a beautiful close encounter. Maybe the skies willl clear by tonight so we can see this...Get the Full Story at NASA.

And there's less than 24 hours until the NEW SEASON of Br Ba (Breaking Bad) begins on AMC.

IT SNOWED in the Duke City environs this morning. This may be the magic sign we need from the Basketball gods.

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Thursday, March 18, 2010
The LOBOS are playing tonight against the GRIZ in the DANCE of DANCES...Here's what it looked like at NCAA SELECTION DAY 2010 in the Pit!

In other snews...'Davy Crockett' Actor Fess Parker Dies At 85...And capnchaos is old enough to have had a coonskin cap and to have seen FESS when he had a ticker tape parade in downtown Jacksonville, Florida.

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Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Mar 17, 1756, St. Patrick's Day is celebrated for the first time in New York City at the Crown and Thistle Tavern.

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One Year, 4 Schipperkes

10 days ago we celebrated our one-year anniversary with The Four Schippeteers. That's when the young, daring, devilish Duo from Dallas, aka The Personal Trainers, aka Holly and Duke, came to enliven the aging two survivors of the original Three Schippeteers. Living with four schipperkes is delightfully insane. While it is not impossible to get down in the dumps with this quartet of furry, high-energy Belgians running around, it is quite difficult to stay there for any length of time. Here are highlights from the last year:

- On our first anniversary day, Holly, apparently knowing that the first anniversary is paper, celebrated by shredding a cough drop wrapper and then napping amidst the wreckage.

- Duke, the young, the goofy, the handsome, has learned how to open car windows!

- Holly knows that "get a toy" means to make a selection from the toy box and bring it to the human slave so that playing may commence.

- Duke thinks Bunnytown USA is the best entertainment he's ever seen. Of course, he likes a little TV now and again, especially if there is a dog show on.

- We are working on a recording contract for the yowling trio of Mellie, Holly, and Duke. (Not Jordan's thing.)

- Apparently every day is a good day for a little menage a trois among Jordan, Holly, and Duke. (Not Miss Mellie's thing.)

- Every night is a three-dog night on the bed with alpha Mel on floor guard duty. (Yes, Holly, Mel is alpha; deal with it.)

- Despite any rumors to the contrary, we have not been completely overrun by dog fur. We are in daily danger of being overcome by adorability.

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Monday, March 15, 2010

Listening to the new Hendrix most of this rainily cloudy high desert evening of the emerging new moon...A bluesy sort of day in early spring calls for contemplations before SPRINGING AHEAD joyously with one less hour's sleepage.

We can't tell what time of day or night it is but one thing we know for sure...It's U.S.CENSUS WEEK; time for THE MADNESS.

There's basketball of course and then there's some real madness with a new OPERA named ANNA NICOLE...Jeepers Creepers...The world premiere of Mark-Anthony Turnage's "A.N". will go onstage with the Royal Opera in London (February 2011).

You heard of it on SNL's "Weekend Update" perhaps and it is true...A bunch of religious devotees of a Miami, Florida man drank the mucus of a giant African snail...This snail can eat plaster and grow to a length of 10 inches. The folks that drank the delicious mucus got violently ill and developed lumps in their stomachs...Yum.

Seems we are not the only ones on our side of the planet to be experiencing daylight savings CHAOS...Stephen Colbert even used that "C" word when he discussed Ben Franklin's great idea to save the daylight this evening. Try as you might, you just can't SAVE DAYLIGHT.

More tornadoes than e-v-e-r are predicted to appear this year in the US of A thanks to El Neen-Yo.

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Saturday, March 13, 2010

Check out-> Duke City Satiddy:Springing Ahead

OHMAGOD...EARTH'S AXIS SHIFTS?...Widespread press reports have noted that February's Chilean earthquake might have shortened Earth's day by a small amount. And the quake might have shifted Earth's axis.

Also check this HYSTERIC PRESIDENTIAL REUNION is worth a look.

Happy Satiddy.

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Thursday, March 11, 2010
The UNM LOBOS win their first game in the Mountain West Conference (beating Air Force) and there's finally, an actual use for our TWITTER check out the latest snewz from the Albuquerque Police Department.

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Wednesday, March 10, 2010
And now for something completely different...3-D TV's!

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Are you Smart-or-Stupid?
Take this fast-paced SMARTorSTUPID test and see...(sent in by our correspondent Major League whoi is very smart.)

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Tuesday, March 09, 2010
He's Back!
Jimi Hendrix is back from the dead with a new cd released today...

jeff hartzer,Valleys_of_Neptune,jimi hendrix
Eggsellent !

It is a tad weird to be hearing a NEW cd from a long gone hero...On my first listen through, must say this cd is well worth the $9.99 at Amazonian...Here's a list of the tunage:

1-Stone Free
2-Valleys of Neptune
3-Bleeding Heart
4-Hear My Train A Comin'
5-Mr. Bad Luck
6-Sunshine Of Your Love
7-Lover Man
8-Ships Passing Through The Night
10-Red House
11-Lullaby For The Summer
12-Crying Blue Rain

This cd rocks and definitely, r-o-l-l-s.

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One of the world's most EXTREME UNC TARHEELS fans just happens to be one of our correspondents, Doctor Extreme...DocX writes:Have gotten more insight on this year's rotten heels. Word is they are "uncoachable." Never learned the system or basics or play fundamental b-ball the way Coach W. wanted them to try. Sort of refused to be "learners." Students, not. I can relate to and fully understand that...Bunch of prima donna McDonald's all-Uhmuricans. What could they learn?

Meanwhile our local UNM LOBOS get ready for the big ride and happy dance...Mountain West Conference games in Las Vegas, Nevada followed by being selected as a top seed in the BIG DANCE. CBS College Sports in town this Sunday for Selection Day at The Pit. Go Lobos..

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Monday, March 08, 2010
MONDAY NIGHT FRESHCHAOS--in Just-spring edition

We enjoyed twilight time under the stars at BunnytownUSA during the Oscars and missed it, but this year our state of New Mexico was well represented Oscar-wise, beginning with Albuquerque's own, Doogie Howser, opening the whole show with a song and dance ditty. CRAZY HEART was filmed here and its main song writer (Ryan Bingham-his band is called the Dead Horses by the way) grew up in Hobbs, N.M. THE HURT LOCKER was produced by Tony Mark a Santa Fe resident. And Director Tom Ford (A SINGLE MAN) grew up in Santa Fe. TRANSFORMERS:REVENGE... was filmed here; kudos to the sound mixing team who won an award. T-5 now out on DVD also filmed in N.M....but sadly not the greatest move-eye.

We still haven't seen Avatar and maybe didn't miss much frankly, by missing the Oscars on the teevee set. Suppose we'll make it to hAvascar one day. Haven't taken our guns into Starbucks yet neither. Gotta get with the times. Also missed Sullenbergers last flight for United Airways. Damnitalltohelloperator...

FRESHCHAOS Quote of the momento: "The TEA PARTY is like the WALMART HIPPIES." David Brooks (NY Times) on Colbert Show.

A GREAT SNL last weekend featured Zach Galifianakis who is very funny. Apparently he is in The HANGOVER. To this point we had not heard of him and enjoyed his hosting of SNL very much.

FRESHCHAOS HQ is feeling mighty SPRINGY this week...As e.e. Cummings might say in Just- spring is a state of mind. Today however, New Mexico is still getting a touch of snow, sleet, blue skies, and rainage each lasting for ten minute intervals...The high desert is just so cool.

In light of the CHANGE IN SEASON and SPRINGING AHEAD, there is a major change coming to this website...

Aquila Arts, LLC has hosted FRESHCHAOS for over ten years. Since 2000, as a 'weblog' has been hosted in addition by of May 1, 2010 Blogger is making some major changes which do not sit well with the Chaos General Staff, especially ye olde blog creator,capnchaos.

This has led to this decision:-> will as of May 1st, 2010 cease all new postings. The TEN YEAR ARCHIVE and active front page will be available to all ad infinitum. So let this be a Head's Up to our three readers.

Got Comments? Email us.

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Thursday, March 04, 2010
Make it Stop...This just in from Jen O'Malley Dillon, Executive Director-Democratic National Committee...

Yesterday, reporters exposed a confidential Republican National Committee fundraising proposal, uncovering their plan to run "an aggressive campaign capitalizing on 'fear' of President Barack Obama and a promise to 'save the country from trending toward socialism.'"

The memo even included grotesque caricatures of Democratic leaders -- including Speaker Nancy Pelosi as Cruella De Vil and President Obama as the Joker from Batman...This is the GOP we're now up against: Desperate, shameless, and willing to deceptively play on the worst emotions of people to tear down the President.

This past week has brought a barrage of outrageous news about Republican tactics. Politico is reporting that the same memo outlining their "fear" strategy indicated that the RNC is cynically seeking to further weaken campaign finance reform to up their cash intake...And National Journal, a Capitol Hill newspaper, found that Republicans are launching robocalls around the country calling health reform "dangerous." These calls are designed to poison the debate around health care at a critical moment -- and are happening right as they hit up insurance company executives for huge contributions...And to top it off, they're holding an upcoming fundraiser at a compound run by the controversial military contractor formerly known as Blackwater. Enough is enough.

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JUST-in:Two Pentagon police officers were shot near the entrance to the military facility,

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RE:2nd Lt.'s Big Gay Blog

NPR did a story on this, they are connected to genocide in Uganda , not nice....Some scary people connected with thisThe Fellowship

RE:Jim Bunning
He is a stubborn loon...he was a baseball player and he probably has his baseball card. I think he is retiring from the US Senate too, let's hope so...I got this fro Wiki about him: A quote from Pulitzer-prize winner Taylor Branch's book of interviews with former President Bill Clinton, David Corn, of Mother Jones magazine characterizes Clinton's opinion of Bunning:
In describing an interview with Bill Clinton after the 1998 Senate elections, Taylor Branch wrote of Clinton, "He said Bunning, a former baseball player, was so mean-spirited that he repulsed even his fellow know-nothings. 'I tried to work with him a couple times,' said Clinton, 'and he just sent shivers up my spine....I know you're a baseball fan and everything, and you don't like to hear it, but this guy is beyond the pale.'

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Wednesday, March 03, 2010

The UNM Men's Basketball Team Win 14 Straight games to earn outright the #1 spot in the Mountain West Conference with a win over TCU (73-66)

Governor Bill Richardson declares today ROman Martinez Day in our Land of Enchantment and RO played a heck of a game, his last in THE PIT. The Lobos lose only 3 games all season. They will lose only one senior after this season, ROman Martinez. Great night for RO; great season for the Lobos.

Next up, Mountain West Championship games in Las Vegas, Nevada.
And, the madness of March is on.

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Here we go again...Tsunami warning issued for part of Chilean coast, north of Concepcion, after huge aftershock. Hope the beachcombers don't think it is a crying wolf...Run Forest, Run.

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More of Java Joe than a Tricia Tealeaf?
Then this may be for you...The Coffee Party Movement gives voice to Americans who want to see cooperation in government. We recognize that the federal government is not the enemy of the people, but the expression of our collective will, and that we must participate in the democratic process in order to address the challenges that we face as Americans. As voters and grassroots volunteers, we will support leaders who work toward positive solutions, and hold accountable those who obstruct them.

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Tuesday, March 02, 2010
2nd Lt. FUBAR's Big Gay Blog

Maybe you've heard about this, but FUBAR only recently learned of the Ugandan Anti-Homosexuality Bill. Includes the death penalty and life imprisonment for homosexual acts. So, don't kiss and tell. No, really, DON'T!

Turns out there is an American evangelical influence in this legislative effort. The politician who introduced the bill did so a month after a conference with American evangelical ministers. President Obama and others have condemned the bill, saying it's a violation of human rights. But according to Uganda's minister of ethics and integrity (nice title), "Homosexuals can forget about human rights." For another opinion, see Michael Solis on Uganda's Anti-Gay Bill.

If the sentence after the link doesn't have you laughing and/or scratching your head, then this "investigative report" is for you: Sewanee led astray by multiculturalism. "Sewanee has subverted its original inspired virtue and replaced it with abject immoral vice, all done under the false and misguided assumptions of compassion, tolerance and inclusion."

Apparently, Sewanee, the Episcopalian University of the South, the alma mater of Capn Chaos and Major League, is going to hell in a hand-basket. The article not only blames homosexuals and women for wanting equal opportunities and respect, but also condemns affirmative action efforts of all kinds, as such action deprives white males of their rightful place. And if a white man can't rule at The University of the South, well then, all is lost.

Elsewhere in the gays are ruining Christ for everyone world: Lutherans Lose Churches Over Gay Clergy It's only a small number of Lutheran churches leaving their affiliation, so may or may not qualify as a schism, still ...

AND ... it turns out the judge hearing the case against Prop. 8 is (gasp) gay! Here Come the Judge!

Meanwhile, FUBAR highly recommends watching this video by comedian Louis C.K. regarding any Problem with Gay People?

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Monday, March 01, 2010
MONDAY NIGHT FRESHCHAOS: Winter Olympics' Flame-out Edition

It's a full moon Monday; hope you didn't have too bad of a case ah tha mondays. So many poor souls with no jobs or with jobs they'd like to snuff without being snuffed by a disastrous catastrophe. Good to be alive and see the moon shining through the clouds on this high desert New Mexican night.

Douchebag of the Day Award goes straight to cranky obstructionist, Republican Jim Benning, who laments that he stayed so late (to keep on Objecting), that he missed his favorite NCAA roundball game on the tube, while effectively dissolving the safety net for over a million out of work folk.

Latest take on the 8.8 Quake...they say the Chilean Quake actually moved the earth off it's axis slightly ( aaaaaaahhhhhh!) causing time to shift a millisecond. No, it's true...The earthquake that killed more than 700 people in Chile on Feb. 27 probably shifted the Earth’s axis and shortened the day , a National Aeronautics and Space Administration scientist says.

A non-twittered question of the momento: What is a twilight double leader and how come the Jefferson Airplane never served hot tuna sandwiches on board?

The Olympics are gone leaving us in a vacuum of inactivity this evening...Our correspondent, Major League says: Neil Young memorably rocked the closing of the Winter Olympics with one of his greatest songs...A great performance.

He adds: Where does one get a hat like that [Neil's] ?
If in New Mexico, you could try the Albuquerque Man's Hatshop...

What we'd like to know is WHO turned down the FLAMES of the Olympic-Torch-o-Matics BEFORE Neil finished his song? And, is Neil trying to look like Johnny-man-in-black-Cash?

Speaking of hat's,
This note's for you, Major League:...
It's a poem
I wrote
about a dream I had once
about a man in a pork pie hat...

White Highway

The man in the pork pie hat
stands on the empty highway
beside my clean new car.
He says,
"Chances are six to one
I do not have my Fiat anymore."

Release me
from the vision of this man in my dream:
this man in a pork pie hat
with blood and glass shining;
this man who is so alive
with death that he no longer has
a car.

Release me from
the visions of the hay baler
now on its side
the green
John Deere
crushed sideways
on the empty
white concrete of the wide open highway.

Release me from this man
standing beside my car
for another chance.

© Jeff Hartzer
August 31, 2008

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Sunday, February 28, 2010
Happy Full Moon, end of the Olympics, and February...

Yesterday the world watched as a tsunami discolored the inlet waters in Hilo, Hawaii and nothiing much more. The tv announcers were all on edge and then bored. It was a media event that sputtered and this is a good thing. Not much help for those in the earthquake zone of course. Would've been an amazingly horrible media disaster of pornographic proportions had the waves tsunamied on live teevee but...

Weekender snews of interest:->Canada defeats the U.S. men's hockey team 3-2 to win Olympic gold as the Olympic take the podium fever sputters to a close...NEIL YOUNG will be one of the featured close-out sale performers tonight as the torch is dimmed...
->The worst storm in a decade kills many French citizens who were flooded out of their homes...
->Things in earth-quaked Chile have turned to neighbors robbing neighbors and riots...
->RIOTS also in Berkeley, Ca.
->UNM LOBO Fans pack the ABQ Sunport to welcome home the greatest LOBO basketball team in decades.
->Obama goes for his first physical as President; glad to have his own healthcare, he got a 'thumbs up'.
->A Girl Scouts Recall, cookies that is...The super duper lemony ones may have oil that smells and tastes bad but is still safe to eat. Suh-weeet.
->More bad oils a-swirling as Gatorade drops El Tigre like a hot potato.

<-->You can order up some Quietus/Quiet Relief for tinnitus at a web page where you can also hear the sounds of tinnitus live and in person...Then, you can order up some herbs for free to help you hear better without the distracting 24/7 'noise', the only problem is you have to call 1-800-779-1990 and talk to someone on the phone and if you suffer from tinnitus, you just may not be able to HEAR those operators standing by...Whaaaa? Keep on rocking in the free world and wear earplugs at that next concert, dudes/dudettes.

<^-^>Bored? well, check out...You Whores dot com where you can name your price to buy or sell just about, really. It's a British site which explains the concept slightly.

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Saturday, February 27, 2010
Live video feed from Hawaii's KITV; awaiting the live shots of devastation...or hopefully nothing much.

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JUST-in:->8.8 Quake Strikes Chile producing a tsunami...And a 7.0 Magnitude Quake Strikes Near Okinawa.Sirens sound across Hawaii, warning of possible tsunami and signaling people in coastal areas to evacuate.

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Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Today's Native American FRESH CHAOS turns in a strange Native American wave... First, the son of Bruco War Eagle Eastwood shoots two kids at Deer Creek Midschool not far from the infamous Columbine High School. [ See Gunfire Hits Two at Deer Creek Midschool]

That and a trainer got smashed at Sea World by a Killer Whale (Orca) named TILLICUM . [See...Orca Kills Trainer at Sea World]

And just tonight capnchaos finished up a great read...

War Dances
by Sherman Alexie

Sherman Alexie's latest book, War Dances may be one of his best yet. He is in this writer's opinion, the Native American, Raymond Carver. This fast-paced collection of stories with great little poetic interludes just should not have ended as soon as it does... Must say though that it leaves the reader wanting more which is a good thing...Both Carver and Alexie know and utilize the ways of the novelist, the poet and and the short fiction writer all at once. Not many writers living or dead can do this.

Here's an interesting link to a Time Magazine article by Sherman Alexie...Sherman Alexie looks at Sacagawea [rec. by an old timer blogger friend, Wayne Klick ].

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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

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Check out this BBC story about THE BONEYARD: world's 'biggest' plane cemetery up close... Googley it for more info/location.

In other tuesday notables...Stats are in for the number of folks having their BREAKFAST OUT at restaurants/fast food emporiums and the figures are way down matching the numbers for out of work folk no longer getting their lattes and sunny-side-ups with gritage.

The latest GOOGLEY thingee...The freaking out parents who say their way too young kids are using it and unknowingly putting themselves out there for all to see so to speak.

And what has been noted here is now more widely spread...that Joseph Stack is becoming a hero to the fringey folk like over at
STORMFRONTdotOrgasmo, a white supremacist website and others...Google the dude-Joseph Stack

Been craving the Who sinmce the Soup Bowl? Here's a great Amazonian selection...The Who's Ultimate cd collection.

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Question of the day...Where do blogs go when they die? Where do they go when their authors vanish on planes flown into buildings? And same for those books on Kindle.Is cyberspacial property infinite?

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Monday, February 22, 2010
MONDAY NIGHT FRESHCHAOS-DICK Goes to the Hospital Edition

DICK CHENEY is in the hospital tonight after suffering severe chest pains where his heart might be, if he had one. Uncle Bill Clintonian survived this month's hospital excursion for chest painage...Can the Bigger Dick survive this excursion as well?

UNM Men's Basketball Team Now #10 in Nation
And Lobo Baseball Team Defeats #1 Team in Nation

Harvey S.Guggenheim takes 3 looks at the OLYMPICS:
1)Hey, that was AXIS BOLD AS LOVE Takahiko Kozukar skated to...Judges didn't dig Hendrix however. Bummer, man.
2)The cervix grab and spin performed by that guy and gal...
3)Why yes, that is my skate heel I am holding.

NORMAL...what everyone else is and you are not.

Who gets to keep Mary Robbins's head and brain ?

Nat-Geo Question of the Momento...Why is Urine-ess not pronounced Urane-us?

Best Use of THE ALLMAN BROTHERS goes to the BBC show TOP GEAR with its totally Allmen Bros' theme song. Speaking of TOP GEAR, the FORD FOCUS "RS" would be a sweet car; too bad it can only be bought in Europe.

So we have to take off our shoes and be X-rayed to get on a plane piloted by texting pilots, but anyone who has a perfectly good airplane of their own, can crash it into anything and even be called a HERO for doing so...These are certainly odd times of strange trips and we aren't even there yet.

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Sunday, February 21, 2010
JUST-in from Major League, our FRESHCHAOS General Staffer retorting in from the great state of Texas...

RE: Joseph Stack..."Another Timothy McVeigh with the added element of suicide. This is what the Tea Party wackos are pushing people to."

RE: 'Government in a box' in Marja, "Maj. League acknowledges his uneasiness with the President Obama-ordered troop build-up and enlarged military operations in Afghanistan. This piece by a good historian, Andrew J. Bacevich, reinforces that concern."

No doubt the U.S. military will succeed in clearing the Afghan town of the Taliban. But can we bring lasting change?
What you see depends on where you sit. My seat at present is in Marfa, a small town in rural West Texas. Yet Marfa turns out to be an oddly instructive vantage point from which to contemplate the latest developments in far-off Afghanistan.

RE: TEXANS...I read an article by Ross Ramsey in The Texas Tribunethat I found to be interesting:-> Thirty percent of Texans believe that humans and dinosaurs co-existed on earth, and another 30 percent don't know, says a University of Texas/Texas Tribune poll. A plurality of those polled, 41 percent, know that dinosaurs and humans coexist only at Disney World and in cartoons...But it goes downhill from there: More than half don't believe that humans developed from earlier species of animals. The poll, of 800 Texas voters, took place February 1-7.
View the full story entitled, Meet The Flintstones.

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Saturday, February 20, 2010
Alexander Haggis dies the same weekend as the Tea Party fringe joins the C.P.A.C. Rally where Ron Paul beats out Palin and Romney in a straw poll. The Haggis will be joining Dick Nixon in heaven or hell-o-operator. This year THE JOHN BIRCH SOCIETY was a major sponsor of the three day event/rally.

On the other end of normal...this weekend produced the first Medical Marijuana Tradeshow

JOE STACK a hero? His big online rant has exploded the website he ranted it onto...which now states the following:This website has been taken offline due to the sensitive nature of the events that transpired in Texas. Although the customer exceeded their bandwidth limits earlier today, due to numerous requests, we have added credit to this account to keep this site live for informational purposes. To see an archived version of the original letter, please go here: Joe Stack's online rant.

OMG...Facebook was down today and s-l-o-w when 'up'...People with faces may have had to go outdoors and/or actually talk to their friends today in persona.

Seen on a movie rating of a preview fro a movie: R- For pervasive strong brutal violence and some language. Some language? En Francaise?

GO LOBOS...The University of New Mexico's LOBOS continue to set records fro the school's basketball archives. Today the won their 11th consecutive conference game and are ranked 12th in the nation. Three more regular season games to go.

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Thursday, February 18, 2010
Spring is in the air and a small plane has crashed into a building in Austin, Texas this morning. Listening to DECADE by Neil Young and pondering the decades that have come and gone. Is it strange I should change; I don't know; why don't you ask her? Good old Neil, man. And when it was over it felt like a dream.Broken arrows and all.

And it turns out that the Pilot set his home ablaze before intentionally crashing plane into an Austin, Texas, building which housed the I.R.S.

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Wednesday, February 17, 2010
2nd Lt. FUBAR had heard about it last summer, but only just this week finally read the full text of Jimmy Carter's Losing My Religion for Equality column in the London Observer. FUBAR remembers hearing people sing Sarah Palin's praises as a fitting Presidential candidate, even as they decried any woman's ability to be a religious leader. Not sure how she can lead the nation, but not a congregation. While some wonder why it took Carter 60 years to separate from the Southern Baptist Convention, FUBAR sympathizes with how difficult that must have been and celebrates his acting on his conscience. A friend of the 2nd Lt. claims that Southern Baptists are not particularly fond of "their" women wearing pants. FUBAR loves pants. Capn. Chaos quite likes the 2nd Lt. both in and out of pants.

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Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Go Stephen, Go...Stephen Colbert CURLS ...You rock, Stephen.

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Monday, February 15, 2010

jon stewart
We Luv U Jon.

This evening not only marks the first sighting of the February New Moon, but also we are 24 hours into the NEW Chinese New Year: The Year of the White Tiger...Grrrr...And we be wiping off the lipstick from International K-i-s-s-i-n-g Day. Go Cupid, you silly tiger, you.

Indiana's Evan Bayh hangs up his hat. The only good news for Dems in D.C. lately is that the recent SNOWMAGEDDON caused the District's crime rate to fall.

We are so NOT going to "take it to the Max," so screw you, Conoco gas folks.

Neurobiologist and mother of four, Amy Bishop, killed her brother 24 years ago in Raintree, Mass. and this week fails to get tenure at U. of Alabama. You know the rest of the story.

Wouldn't it be swell to win the lottery? Not so, says Don McNay, a Kentucky-based writer and financial adviser who has written books and columns on lottery winner horror stories. He writes, "Nine out of 10 people don't handle it well...It's life-changing. If you have a bad habit, it makes it worse. Addiction problems get magnified. People think that money cures problems, but it really magnifies them." Winning 1.7 million dollars on one big lumpy lump certainly wasn't so swell for Florida's Abraham Shakespeare, now deceased.

An International Arrest Warrant has been issued for Not-So-Squeaky-Clean-American-Bi-Cyclist-FLOYD-LANDIS...France's anti-doping chief says a French judge has issued an international arrest warrant for U.S. cyclist Floyd Landis in connection with a case of data hacking at a doping laboratory. Did not take drugs nor hack any stupid pooters, says Landis - or would if only they can find him to have him say so.

Pernell Roberts died recently. Ah, who was he? Only the greatest of the Cartwright boys, Adam. Ah, who were they? Only the all-male family featured in the first-IN-COLOR-tv-show-ever-in-USA...BONANZA. It made for stay-at-home Sunday nights along with The Wonderful World of Walt (which may in fact have been THE first in color). At any rate, Buh Bye Pernell.

Tan-lines on the chest=$$$...Sports Illustrated's SWIMSUIT ISSUE, coming out this week, has generated 1 billion dollars for Time Inc. since 1964.

AKBAR ZIB was rejected as a Pakistani ambassador to Saudi Arabia, because his name translates to "BIGGEST DICK" in Arabic. Suh--wheeeet!

Latest craze in the Billboard Biz...Seen in Madison, Wisconsin (Say Cheese, please!) last week is George W. (duh pres) Bush smirking and waving with the words...MISS ME YET?

Coolest show to come out of the BBC...TOP GEAR. Not only do they go through all the gears, they make us laugh, and, what good is life without a laugh or three?

Latest cool-yet-odd website for web voyeurs and other folks is called, CHAT Roulette, and it's not even French. You can click up a.n.onorous folks on your pooter and talk to them in reali time. Fascinatingly odd, yet freshly chaotic.

More on that same latest, cool-yet-odd websites:

Angelina Jolie visited Haiti last week but DID NOT ADOPT a single kid. Big-lippy-Cheapass. Here she is morphing with the Bradster...

YOU SAW IT FIRST here at, but Stephen Colbert should really pick up on this one...While watching an NBA game we couldn't help but notice that Sacramento, Ca., home to THE KINGS, calls itself SAC TOWN.

NAKED ON A BIKE: ever a comfortable position? I've heard of such things...Now you can ride naked in the rain or sun or snow in Albuquerque, NM...with a whole bunch of other people...or NOT...Speakin' of 'Burque...Read about Albuquerque in the ABQJournal's ABOUT ALBUQUERQUE section.

DON'T CALL ME, JIM...The inventor of the FRISBEE, Fred Morrison, died this past week. Fred musta been quite a dude. He patterned his 'invention' after a pie plate. Hey, it's almost warm enough to go throw a frisbee out back.

NOW, WE'VE SEEN IT ALL...There's a new electronic game called, DANTE's INFERNO, and the cleavage is gonna ravage the young Alighieri's nether regions...See (what else?): Dante's

Speakin' along entertainment lines...The average North Amerikan family will spend about a thousand buckos on cable/sat./internet/vid. games this year. This figure is up from $770 in 2004.

Most of the Western Hemisphere of the planet seems to be a SNOWMAGEDDON-ed again (except in Vancouver). This week showed snow cover in all fifty U.S. states except Hawaii.

Do you still own videos and/or a VCR? Most Hollywood Video stores have shut down this past week in the wake of Netflix and ah, dvd's. Not to mention the broke-dow-ness of their mothership, Movie Gallery, Inc.

Kites, Sails and Boards don't mix...A sailboarder (aka kiteboarder) was eaten alive last week in Floreedah. 38-year-old Stephen Howard Schafer died at the hospital after most of his body was recovered by lifeguards who had to swim into the bloody melee.

This is no longer FRESH, but is indeed sad CHAOS...More than 100 manatees (not dugongs) were left dead in the recent Floreedah freezes.

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Friday, February 12, 2010
TGIF...Officials at the University of Alabama's Huntsville campus say three people have
been killed and another injured in a campus shooting.

An Olympic luger dies ( Luger Nodar Kumaritashvili died in a crash while training for the Olympics in Vancouver) and there is more snow in the USA right now than in Vancouver...Go Winter Olympic Games...

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Wednesday, February 10, 2010
A magnitude 4.3 earthquake rattles northern Illinois early Wednesday...An earthquake with snow everywhere. Times be tough from Motha Natah.

This just-in : Dulles Airport near Washington, D.C., closed for 24 hours due to blizzard, FAA says...We didn't know it was even open yet from the last storm.

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Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Wi-Fi is available on busses, at fast food joints; you can even go online waiting for your vehicle at the carwash for Geebus' sake. Why is it then, that more Doctor's Waiting Rooms aren't Wi-Fi hot?

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Monday, February 08, 2010

Today's DOW dropped below the Ten K mark today hitting, 9908; and tomorrow...

Not-so-SMUG-no-mo-Toyota announces a global recall of its 2010 Prius hybrid vehicles after admitting brake problems.

AMERIGASM is what the Daily Show calls this past weekend which along with the snooper bowl, on Saturday it was Ronald Reagan's birthday...In light of Sarah Palindromer now writing hand poetry...Here's our favorite Ronald Reagan poem...Happy Birthday Mr. President.

Refrain for the Corporate Puppet
(on the occasion of President Reagan's Tacoma visit)

Say a prayer for the limousined man
Say a prayer for the incubated man
The man looking backward
The man laughing at the crowd

Say a prayer for the red-faced ferrets riding limos
Say a prayer for the hospitality kitchens of the world
Street cornered and hungry factory girls and boys
Easy targets for limousined string pullers

Say a prayer for Presidents
who swing on cowboy boots
who laugh red-faced behind steel glass visions
from inside enormous embryonic cars
flown in fromthe capitals of the world

Say a prayer for the limousined man
so important he needs a gunship
to chop open the sky
wherever he goes
with Greyhounds of Press and soldiers
and televisions and all of us waiting

Jeff Hartzer
copyright 1981-present

Soup Bowl advertising update:->Seeing Tim Tebow tackle his mom and rooting for the fact that he wasn't aborted made me wonder why I sometimes wear a GATORS hat. It's comfie? All we can say is that in HD, the close up shots of Timmy's Mom were pretty scary...Here's an interesting take on the Tebow sitcheeation from the Washington Post entitled, Tebow's Super Bowl ad isn't intolerant; its critics are sent to us by an interesting party of five...By the way, our very FAVORITE BEST MAN to come out of Gainesville ever is that rootin' tootin' rebel...Tom Petty.

Another member of the righteously right, Sarah Palindromer is writing notes on her hands and even something called. POE-a-TREE. Oh ma God.

Last week, a restaurant inside the Greensboro, North Carolina Woolworth's opened as a museum to lunch counter food with the world's greatest Grilled Cheese samich. Surrounding the counter is an entire museum devoted to what historic dining as a Black persona in the USA was like exactly...Read more 'bout it at THE GRIO dot com.

JUST-in from>BIG SUNSPOT: The sudden emergence of big sunspot 1045 over the weekend has caused a sharp uptick in solar activity. The active region has produced three M-class and almost a dozen C-class solar flares since it appeared on Saturday. The strongest blast, an M6-class eruption on Feb. 7th, may have hurled a coronal mass ejection toward Earth. High-latitude sky watchers should be alert for auroras in the nights ahead as a result of this activity. Also, ham radio operators are picking up strong solar radio bursts using shortwave receivers.

FRESHCHAOS QUOTE of the Momento:->"Sarah Palin is a f-ing retard......See, it's satire. Stephen Colbert (02-08-2010)

HAPPY NUDE YEAR...Our favorite Chinese Astrologer, Shelley Wu has this to say about the upcoming Chinese New Year: The Year of the White Tiger...That would be a 'metal tiger' not a 'Woodsy Tiger'...And gosh darn it, Capnchaos is a 'tiger'...Hmmm...for once in a blue moon, this might just be a freaking good year in store for the old Captain after his Lost Decade spent chasing wild-bush-masters.

BEST HEADLINE of the WEEK goes out to this one in the ABQ JOURNAL...GURU CHARGED IN 3 DEATHS.

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So much Chaos,
So little time.

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