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Sunday, April 30, 2006
MAYDAY, MAYDAY ...We're going down into a deep blue sea of illegal ALIENS...

__Some Immigrants Reluctant to Boycott .
__Tomorrow, tomorrow...could be an historic day for the US of A or not. Certainly tomorrow's CNN ratings will go up, covering who does and who does not take a day off from work with a case of the Stinko De Mayo Spring fever blues. If every single ILLEGAL OR LEGAL ALIEN 'Parties on' tomorrow and then again on Friday, May Fifth our entire the nation may very well go under or at least asunder...God and Hispanics rule. And, lest we forget, there are OTHER immigants besdies the Hispano Nation. Whatever happens, undoubtedly to some folks this week, Native Americans and Blacks will have never looked so good.

illegal aliens


__In Music Snewz:..> Here are the Tour Dates/locations for the upcoming Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young Roadshow '06 .
__...>read Interviews with Neil Young in Rollingstone Magazine regarding the quick and free release of his new yet to be 'released' cd Living With War.__...>Coming in June to Manchester, Tennessee, the Bonnaroo Music Festival featuring Tom Petty and others.
__...> Check out who's coming to the SOLAR FEST in TAOS, New Mexico this June...
__...>Summertime in our High Desert Ci-tay: Burque-ville will be host to an odd assortment of bands which include:
Drive-By Truckers-Son Volt-Joe Satriani-Matt Costa-Dropping Daylight-Flyleaf-Coheed And Cambria-Avenged Sevenfold-Eighteen Visions-9th Wonder- Murs-Crystal Skulls-Helio Sequence-Goatwhore-Bullets And Octane-DaMone-Valient Thorr- Ministry-Revolting Cocks- Pitbull Daycare-Spyder Baby-First Blood-Sick Of It All- Stretch Arm Strong- Midwest Dilemma-Cattle Decapitation-Necrophagist-Neuraxis-The Voodoo Organist-Artimus Pyledriver-Bury Your Dead-Devildriver- If Hope Dies- A Perfect Murder- Incite- Soulfly- Creedence Clearwater Revisited- The Fabulous Thunderbirds- As Blood Runs Black- The Epoxies- The Phenomenauts-The Business- The Disasters-Mobb Deep- Mono- Pelican-Odetta- 33 Degree- B.B. King- Apes- The Liars- U.S. Bombs- Bauhaus- Nine Inch Nails- TV On The Radio-Nightmare Of You-The Rocket Summer- Gretchen Wilson- Lizzy Borden- Panic! At The Disco-The Hush Sound- Tanya Tucker- Buckwheat Zydeco- Chicago / Huey Lewis & The News-Donna Summer-Yerba Buena-Drop Dead Gorgeous- Inked In Blood...
WEIRD band names, man. All coming soon to the High Desert...We be stylin'. Remember, IT'S A DRY HEAT.


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Saturday, April 29, 2006
Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it the CIVIL WAR: Violence Uproots 100,000 Families in Iraq ...Meanwhile let's fret over wheter to sing our National Anthem in Hungarian or Swahili.


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Friday, April 28, 2006
LIFE WITH WAR-:-:-Neil Young-:-:- JUSTin Thanks to a reader for this precious and darling link......You can listen to the entire UNRELEASED new NEIL YOUNG cd right here at this link: LIVING WITH WAR...Like, Man, Whadda Ya Waitin' fo...???


Bush Rejects Windfall Tax on Oil Profits WELL DUH...!!

THE DECIDER speaks: American Anthem Should Be in English ... WELL DUH...!! Yes, again. But I thought you always said , "We won't get fooled again!!" ? THE DECIDER has spoken.


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Thursday, April 27, 2006
Many webloggers, radicals, and music lovers are circulating a story entitled, "Neil Young's Harsh Words" about Neil's new cd and interviews surrounding its making. Neil Young who has in the recent past, sided from time to time with the hawks in his pro-war stance (despite his more often 'revolutionary' songlist), is calling for the outright impeachment of Dubya... To get the whole picture from the source, click this link to read the original story in the L.A.Times by Chris Lee.


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FRESH CHAOS quote of the Momento: "Class is an aura of confidence that is being sure without being cocky. Class has nothing to do with money. Class never runs scared. It is self-discipline and self-knowledge. It's the sure footedness that comes with having proved you can meet life."
- Ann Landers

How Many US Troops are Really in Iraq?...The Congressional Research Service has just released a new report on the past and possible future costs of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Pending Congressí action on the new emergency supplemental, which should complete fiscal year 2006 expenses, the costs will be up to $439 billion by the end of this year. But thatís just the tip of the iceberg; details follow. The full report is available at What does the Iraq War Cost?

Like quizzes and surveys? NOW U2 can take the "World's Smallest Political Quiz" ...
Click: Political Quiz .

So importante, it is brought to you here and now in CAPS... THE ILLINOIS STATE LEGISLATURE IS PREPARING TO DROP A
BOMBSHELL UTILIZING A LITTLE KNOWN RULE OF THE U.S. HOUSE TO BRING IMPEACHMENT CHARGES against our '32 per center' DUH PRES of the USA.

HAPPY NEW MOON!


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Wednesday, April 26, 2006
FRESH CHAOS BYTES:

FOX NEWS' Conservative pundit TONY SNOW named White House Press Secretary. Even more Fair and Balanced reports sure to come in now from the White House.

From North Florida's thriving metropolis and sometime home to what's left of Lynyrd Skynyrd, GREEN COVE SPRINGS, FLA., comes the story of a woman who was killed after receiving a 50,000 volt from a police taser gun. In 2005, 61 people were killed in the USA from tasers. Go Green Cove Springs! Go taser guns.

Apparently, 32 % of Americans love to eat liver...Oddly enough, 32 % of Americans still love W. Coincidence? Go figure.


Check out the Gospel According to the Church of the FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER .

Finland worries about its band LORDI...when you see them, you'll know why.


Brett Favre, the aging 36 year old footballer who always shows us a bit of beard, will proudly return to the playing field for the Green Bay Wisconsin Cheese Head Packers. Go Brett, you old devil, you. We never did lose faith that you'd be back.

The latest thing in Banking can be found at Prosper dot com. You can borrow $$$ from 'real people' or loan your money out to 'real people'. Gambling on getting a return with interest, you can make some bucks if you've got $$$ to burn...Or if you are a LOSER when it comes to your normal bank loans, you may find yourself a WINNER here. Still, money can't buy you love.

This week, JAY LENO poked fun at the Governor for the State of New Mexico, BILL RICHARDSON ...Apparently, Richardson was heard to say that there remain a 'few good reasons' to keep COCK FIGHTING legal (as it continues to be in N.M.)...Leno quipped that the only good reason he knew to keep it legal was to Keep Cocks off the street!!

Money well spent???: $100 million dollars were spent by Hollywood to film the new movie, RV. Katherine Harris is spending 10 million on her current campaign. Each minute that passes another billion or so washes into the desert of Iraq.

Puyallup, Washington...Pearl, Mississippi...Fairbanks, Alaska...Riverton, Kansas...all have a common thread this month...They all have kids who were caught readying themselves to 'pull another Columbine'. Thank God, No child is getting Left Behind these days.

The Humuhumunukunukuapuaa is now officially THE STATE FISH of Hawaii.

Steven Staley, an inmate of the fine state of Texas, USA, will be forcibly injected with anti-psychotic medication so that he may be executed . U.S. law forbids anyone to be executed who dooesn't understand what is happening to them. Thank God or anti-psychotic medication.

In local snewz, the Abq. Thunderbirds defeated the Ft. Worth Fliers 119-108 to win the NBA Development League Championship in their very first year of existence under Coach Cooper. Good for you Albuquerque and Michael Cooper.

Check out Pearl Jam's new music video (at Newsweek.com) for their already-a-hit single, World Wide Suicide ...The new cd by PEARL JAM is called Pearl Jam and comes out May 2nd.


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NEW BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
When the Grateful Dead released Working Man's Dead, it was haled and decried as too rootsy, too back to the woods...Not DEAD enough. The same may well be said for the (released yesterday) NEW Bruce Springsteen album...WE SHALL OVERCOME-The Seeger Sessions- is not your father's or even your older brother's 'Bruce'. It comes out as a 'dual' cd: ooh baby...one side is a fully involving and fiddling jig set of Pete Singer songs that you've never heard before; the other side is a 5.1 DVD... This is one that'll grow on you. Springsteen's voice gives more edgy meat to the lyrics than when voiced with Pete Seeger's softness. Great orchestration, banjos and fiddles...Ease up on that 'Zydeco' next time though, dude. A good one to buy this week while still on sale.A pure and easy 'Instant classic' laid bare by Mr. Springsteen. You Go Bruce. Go deep. Pick a bale of cotton, pick a bale of hay...Go west you not so young man. And a Big Bravo to those who came before you in the world of folk and rock; and, folk rock too.

OSAMA LIVES and speaks...his latest meandering diatribe adds to the chaos of this dark/new moon week of early tornado season. GOT GAS? GOT LOTS OF MONEY HONEY? Thank God for this quick and sweet war that the WORST PRESIDENT IN HISTORY foisted on us when he had the whole world in his hands post 9/11/01. The cover of the early May Issue of Rollingstone Magazine has Bush seated in a dunce cap and is calling him possibly the WORST PRESIDENT IN HISTORY...An amazing article by historian, Sean Wilentz waits inside the covers. To read it online, click the cover shown below...

Bush Worst President in history

WORST President E-V-E-R


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Monday, April 24, 2006
JUSTin:EGYPTIAN BLAST kills at least 18...
__AND: a reader spews on NOLA erections:This election was crazy. It reminded me of the days of Huey P. Long politics. I really did not care who got elected but felt the importance of having a strong leader, who will give great guidance to rebuild New Orleans, not whether NOLA becomes white or black...McCain hasn't won the presidency yet! NOLA election gave me hope that the Democrats are still in the race.
__There are many things to be 'grieving' about these days. Take a look at this and see if you don't have some GOOD GRIEF .
__AND: another reader spews on this Bill that would make sale of sex toys illegal in S.Carolina Here's yet another bill designed to get the GOP "base" of voters fired up by the November election. An absurd infringement on personal freedom, and a huge waste of time to boot! Reminds me of the time when some church folks picketed the Candy Lady shop in Old Town (Albuquerque) because she made anatomically-correct candy. As I remember, it was great publicity for her, and the protesters were roundly criticized for their actions.


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Saturday, April 22, 2006
Air Force One tagged!! Check out the Still Free dot com video hoax that fooled the U.S. Air Force among others.

Are you black or are you white? How will today's New Orleans' Mayor's race be decided? Our world and NOLA's has certainly changed. Will 'This City will be chocolate' doom Nagin? Say again. Maybe bussing people IN TO VOTE, will go better than it did to bus them OUT TO LIVE. Go NOLA.

LBJ...LeBron James that is, kicks off the continuing MADNESS professional style today, with the first round of the NBA Championships ... More teevee to watch or go outside and enjoy the earth's spinning toward summer?...You make the call.

Albuquerque turns 300 years old this weekend. Visiting our city to partake in the celebration are Duke Ionnes Osorio y Beltran de Lis and Dutchess Blanca Suelves Figueroa from ALBUQUERQUE, SPAIN. Welcome to the High Desert, folks.

JUSTin from newly online reader in KANSAS:
I saw this billboard in Kansas City, advertising this pro-intelligent design group, and found the website pretty quickly.†[ TEACH Darwin HONESTLY ] Looks a lot like a webpage from a pharmaceutical company, clean, cheery, and chock-full of bland statements. Quite a departure from the "God Made the Grand Canyon in 6 Days" jargon that used to come from these groups.†It's still the same, turn-back-the-clock views on science that started all this classroom chaos in Kansas a few years ago.
It brings to mind once again the satirical lyrics from an old song by the weirdo-pop group Devo:
They tell us that we lost our tails,
†††††† Evolving up from little snails,
†††††† I say it's all just wind in sails,
†††††† Are we not men?
††††††† We are Devo!


And this too__ GOT-sports-CLICHES?

HOPPY EARTH DAY

earth day


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Friday, April 21, 2006
Released live and swell in actual THEATERS today: American Dreamz and Friends with Money ...and then there's this movie called BIG BAD LOVE that recently showed on IFC that perhaps ranks in our FRESH CHAOS top five best movies you've never heard of (until seen on the IFC network).



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God save Actress Andie MacDowell born this day in 1958 and ditto for Queen Elizabeth II born this day in 1926. Long live Constitutional Monarchies...Go you fish, chips, and baked beans for breakfast sort of tea and rainy weather loving kind folk.


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"You can only play the POLITICS OF FEAR for so long." Ted Kennedy 4/20/06


Ted Kennedy appeared on Jon Stewart's Daily Show last night. He's lost weight and looks good. Too bad for the world he had to cross that bridge with that girl when he came to it back in his early days. We all might be on a differently spinning planet were it not for the legal evils of alkeeholl.

Albuquerque has joined several other cities in the United States with a new minimum wage law. As of January 2007, the minimum wage to be paid in our city limits will be $6.75 which is above the Federal minimum. Good for you, Albuquerque.

HU meets with Bill Gates before he meets up with DUH PRES; then, he is heckled by one of his own in D.C. and 'Taiwan-ed' by an announcer (way to prep your staff Mr. President). Anyway you look at it, the Chinese want Big Cars like ours and the whole world's goodies are to be made in China sooner than later, Gator.

Thank God for the Internet...MySpace.com ran a 'killer email posting' from some 5 Wannabe Columbiner Kansassian Kidz who would've put on the seven year itching of Columbine yesterday, if only they hadn't 'My-Spaced' the info. It's not just DUH PRES who LEAKS. Three cheers for the cops in Riverton, Kansas. Now if we could just get them Barney Fifes from perusing porno on their Sheriff's office 'pooters...


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Thursday, April 20, 2006
At 6:30 p.m. on this evening in 1889, cute little Adolf Hitler was born in the small Austrian village of Braunau Am Inn just across the border from German Bavaria. Go BMW's !!

Today at 4:20 on 04/20, one of Albuquerque's infamous old hippie hangouts, Roosevelt Park was again completely closed to ALL by the PO-lice both before and long after 4:20 p.m. Good thing this annual gathering of the Hip-Pies isn't a Black, Female, or Hispanic thing or it would be politically incorrecto to Close the Park for Everyone. Oh yeah I forgot that Hippies are just liberal, long haired, douchebag non-patriotic scumsuckers and whom, since 9/11, have not been allowed in the big old beautiful park on this day. With so many cops there on horseback and on foot, hell fire and damnation, Billie Bob, it might've been a gorgeous spring afternoon to rob a convenience store or a bank right chere in the not so 'high desert'.

I do have a nice memory of Roosevelt Park from the days following the death of Jerry Garcia. Truly love, peace, and a shared sadness was held in the hearts and minds of those there then, including several old New Mexican Hippie bus owners with their Green Turtle Trailways parked at the park...I even had a long-lost 'moment of connection' via phone with my now right-winged-priestly younger brother. He was attending a 'Jerry Rally' in Hotlanta before 'getting saved' and sucked up into another universe that seems unreachable today. So let freedom fly wherever you find it, before this day turns into twilight and stars.


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I AM THE DECIDER


_Today in 1999: 13 people were killed at Columbine High School in Littleton, CO, when two teenagers opened fire on them with shotguns and pipebombs. The two gunmen then killed themselves.
_Today in 1972: The manned lunar module from Apollo 16 landed on the moon.
_Tonight in 2006: the comet Schwaaamann-Wachmann 3 is 'easy to locate' (if you are a telescope dweeb). It, supposedly, shines right next to Alphecca (Gemma) -yeah, that Alphecca-, which is the brightest star of the small starry oval of Corona (Tay-cah-tay's good too) Borealis...blah,blah...Anyway, we're all gonna die because there's a comet boring through the night sky above us. Once again Heysus Rises, and we heathens are left behind with DUH PRES spinning here on the blue planet. At least Karl Moon Rover took a step backwards, yestiddy and is out of the mainstream momentarily.
_Last night in 2006: NEIL YOUNG makes Stephen Colbert's 'Threatdown' list for Neil's upcoming very NON-Patriotic lp/cd. Go Neil. Can't wait for the new Electric Protest diddy.
_CRUISE MISSLE GIVES BIRTH; EATS PLACENTA...tastes just likepolenta, the placenta. BABY SURI becomes first biological child for TOMCAT and KATIEKIT. Thank Jesus for that. Scientology too.
_JUSTin from Loving, New Mexico...CAR HITS COW; DRIVER DIES...The Eddy County Sheriff has reported finding the body of a driver still in her vehicle that had crashed into brush and mesquite (not just for the bbq grill anymore; it grows here wild and free) a hundred yards from an undoubtedly mad, but very dead cow. That's SO LOVING, NEW MEXICO.
__DICK (shooter) CHENEY'S tax refund weighs in at $1.9 MIllion. DUH PRES, on the other hand, had to PAY $187,768 in taxes. You'd think Sonny Boy would use the same accountant as his Uncle Dickie. But Noooo.
__Sweet recent headlines: TORNADOES RIP... ANNIHILATION OF ISRAEL PREDICTED ...TALIBAN BLAMED FOR NEW ATTACKS ... Oh yeah, and this one: 2 MARINES DEAD, 22 HURT IN IRAQ (keep the war on that back burner now, ya hear?) .
__BUT the best FRESH CHAOS of all is this story that is continuing to unfold and crawl out from between the sheets...BOCA GRANDE FLORIDA: TAKEN OVER by IGUANAS....Oh yeah. Smell the Apocalypse creeping forward day by petty day.
__In a close second for insanity though, is this story...WEATHER CHANNEL CREW ARRESTED ...'Ha Ha', screams Nelson.
_Hey, for detailed tips on how family and friends can help IRAQ vets adjust and for 'mental health resources' visit the oxymoronic: military mental health dot org website .
_And then there's a story about an Illinois man who drowned trying to save his canine...Ironically, it is on a website in Witchita, Ks. called Kansas dot com . This could be a good webpage to 'bookmark' for future worldly observations on the fresh mundane chaos of the world presented from a Kansassian point of view. Sassy !
_Everyone knows this... SONAR KILLS WHALES . There is a meeting next week in the Bahamas to do something about it...ah, hopefully. GO NAVY.


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Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Lee Raymond
eXXXon FATCAT: Lee Raymond


This guy can now hire a gym trainer or buy three or four personal Club Meds with his 48.5 million dollars from ExxonMobil...Meanwhile gas prices tilt past THREE U S Dollars a gallon for the rest of us schmoes. I still wouldn't trade in my meager life for his. Not a chance. LOSE THE JOWLS, DUDE.

Fresh Chaos Quote of the momento: So, then, to every man his chance -- to every man, regardless of his birth, his shining golden opportunity -- to every man his right to live, to work, to be himself, to become whatever his manhood and his vision can combine to make him -- this, seeker, is the promise of America.
- Thomas Wolfe

Best recent teevee quote: "Donald Rumsfeld: Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit, a lot of people HATE him"...Jon Stewart.

San Francisco is still alive and swell 100 years and a day since 'The Big One' in 1906. Bravo to Rice, Ronies, and The Beats. "HOWL" howled fifty years ago this month by the way. Hail to Ferlinghetti and Ginsberg.

Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Jeff Hartzer (bearded dude) with Lawrence Ferlingetti

Atlantic Center for the Arts
1984


Huge blast rocks Afghan Capital ...Stay tuned.

A New AP Poll: Shows that U.S. Teachers are DUBIOUS of the 'No Child Left Shot in the beehind by the Veep' program...A BIG Surprise (NOT!)


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Today in 1775 The American Revolution began as fighting broke out in Lexington, Massachussetts. Ahh...those were the days when we spoke up aginst tyranny...against church and King..them Patriots knew what it was all about back then. Sad to lose our American backbone to rich white folk.

JUSTin: a reader writes one of the Dook LAX players arrested yesterday is named "Kevin Finnerty!" Who knew?...If you're a fan of the Sopranos, you saw in the season's first few episodes (as Tony remained unconcious, after his Uncle shot him) Tony Soprano's dream character of himself, his dreamscape alter ego was named yes, "Kevin Finnerty!"

A NEW unapologetic 'ELECTRIC' NEIL YOUNG ALBUM called, LIFE IN WAR , appears on our autumn horizon, if we live that long. GO NEIL. We should all have life-motivating 'Brainstorms' [ aneurysms ] like yours. There's more on Neil Young from an 'unofficial' but more 'official' site than the one above...It's an old Neil fansite called, Thrasher's Wheat dot org...with all the latest NEIL YOUNG NEWS .

Can't hear what he's saying?? Here's an official link to every single Bob Dylan lyric E-V-E-R !

Everybody's OUTED but Rummie...White House Staff Shake-Up Continues . Press Secretaries can apparently LIE ,FOR ONLY SO LONG, before burning out.

JUSTin:...one of our infrequent but loyal readers has just announced his very own swearing in as the New President of the United States. THANK THE GODS for this NEW mid-term PRESIDENT...May we be the first to congratulate our new President and First Lady...Mission just begun.


WEISSENBERGER TO REPLACE WHAT'S HIS FACE


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Tuesday, April 18, 2006
HE Has Risen and we're stuck here with Bushie and Donald Duckie Rummie...ahh, the good life for all of us happy to be alive and swell here on the spinning planet earth...Things could be worse...A naked man pushing a cart along a busy section of Cesery Boulevard in Jacksonville, Florida had a perfectly logical explanation for his wardrobe malfunction. It just wasn't perfect or logical enough to avoid arrest ...Dukey-stainers arrested .


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Friday, April 14, 2006
JUSTin from a reader visiting Roanoke: Folks are a little different 'round here, which is no surprise. The Virginia Legislature recently passed some Gonzo legislation which would make it legal for "law-abiding citizens"(are there any other kind?) to carry, concealed or otherwise, firearms in their pickups or cars. Bazookas were not on the list. Fortunately, they have a more cool-headed Governor (Democrat) who wisely vetoed the bill, calling it a "law enforcement nightmare."

The GOP here is actively boosting these kinds of bills to boost the voter turnout in the fall election, trying to offset the anti-Bush turnout. President Nero is beginning to become the biggest liability the GOP have going, so all the races will be set out individually, without the Bush tie-in. It will be interesting to see how good the memories of the voters will be by November. That was opportunistic of Gov. Bill to compare the Hispano movement to the civil rights movement, though not an accurate comparison.


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A bad Good Friday?
Life is not holding a good hand; Life is playing a poor hand well. - Danish proverb

Today and through Sunday thousands of pilgrims wind their way form the Santa Fe area to Chimayo, a town called the "Lourdes of the Southwest." There is a church there that has miraculous dirt. You just got to go there to truly "get it" - plus you can bring home some miraculous dirt. One of the few things in the USA that is still FREE. Free dirt and It's MIRACULOUS. No really. Also it is in a gorgeous part of New Mexico. Nearby Truchas is where they filmed the Milagro Beanfield War (based on John Nichols' NM Trilogy).

There is smoke in the air today either from a huge fire in the Santa Fe National Forest or from a less huge "controlled burn" some 20 miles from the raging fire. The state has a new RED FLAG systyem that states you can not even smoke cigarettes outside on a red flag day... but you can do a CONTROLLED BURN apparently.
Good enough for Government work, I suppose.

Today in my childhood was always the day my father took me fishing with my Uncle Fred who lived in Palatka, Florida. We would rent a boat and set out on the nearby Oklawaha River for bass and bream. At noon, I would quietly think that Christ was up on His cross now and throw out my nightcrawlers for more fish. Those were the days.

Jeff Hartzer
Jeff and bass


Fresh Chaos Quickies:
__Joseph Biden is running for President in 2008, but is he ready for HDTV ?
__GOT GARBAGE with Oceanic views? Well Sirs and Madames, Athens, Greece has
GARBAGE to Spare...
__Stephen Colbert has been warning us about Bears and not just the Chicago Bears... Now there's a KILLER BEAR in Tennessee, Jed.
__Another general joins the ranks of those opposing Rumsfeld
__A CNN poll about Rummy (as of 4/13/06) :
Do you think it is time for a new Defense Secretary?
Yes 86% 32418 votes
No 14% 5135 votes
__Here's a viewpoint regarding Bushie's affair with abstinence .
__Local music snewz: on Sunday April 30th Son Volt, Drive-By Truckers, and Curt Kirkwood at the downtown El Rey. A triple threat down for the price of one.
__Local Theatrical snewz: The Department of theater and dance at the University of New Mexico is presenting URINETOWN: the Musical...apparently a big hit on Broadway and in the streets of New York. GO URINATORS !!
__Bad weekend for Christ and Bushie. Thank goodness for Repubs, that everyone on Capitol Hill is on a two week hiatus cuz the manure's piling up pretty high. Bill Clinton is now making Monica jokes in his pubic appearances...Would you rather have a BLOW JOB PRES or a DUH PRES?
__Our Gov. Bill Richardson just can't stay out of his own way...He stated this week that the immigration protests were greater than the civil rights movement of the sixties (or at least that is the slightly 'out of context' implied message). Indeed, the protests recently ARE THE LARGEST EVER but, ah Bill watch how you state it, Dude.


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Thursday, April 13, 2006
FULL MOON FRESHCHAOS snewzbytes:
__The hunt is on for real life 'were-rabbit'...
__Years ago, Carlsbad mayor might have peppered Cheney...
__Albuquerque's Brian Patterson Jumps Fence yet again.
__Pop star PINK rips Bush a new one.
__Things aren't all bad in Blue Devil Country, Carolina that is...Lewis Black is now offering a course at UNC in Chapel Hill on what else...comedy.
__Movie Snewz: THE SIMPSONS' movie is due to hit theaters July 27, 2007. Wish it was sooner. Could be even better than the much bally-hooed but still unreleased SNAKES on a PLANE...
__Locally: In FIRE news...they are about to set off a 'controlled burn' in the Santa Fe National Forest. Seems awfully dumb to me, almost as dumb as the controlled burn set years back that nearly destroyed Los Alamos. Meanwhile a movie [Wild Hogs] set in Madrid, New Mexico (a cool little ex-mining town turned artsy fartsy on the Turquoise Trail between Abq. and Santa Fe) starring Johnnie Travolta, has been given permission to burn down an old bar for the movie. Burn bay burn...Fire..huh huh...Pray for 'no wind' in both these situations. No wind?...haha...it's Spring in the high desert. GUSTY WINDS MAY EXIST...!!


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Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Cheney Booed Tossing First Pitch in D.C.

Earlier this week, President Bush dismissed reports that the administration was planning for a military strike against Iran , saying on Monday that such suggestions were "wild speculation." Bush did not rule out the use of force, but he said he would continue to use diplomatic pressure to prevent Iran from gaining a nuclear weapon or the know-how and technology to make one. Several weekend news reports said the administration was studying options for military strikes.

So here's the Excite.com POLL QUESTION and current responses...Do you think the U.S. will eventually launch a military strike against Iran within the next year?
Yes 34% => 2891 votes
No - but it will happen within the next two years 23% => 2017 votes
No - but it will happen sometime after two years 12% => 1063 votes
No - it will never happen 16% => 1427 votes
I'm not sure 12% => 1085 votes
Current number of voters: 8483

It truly is odd and more snafu-d than usual to have an administration where a large percentage of the US population has come to expect the OPPOSITE of what the administration is saying. We are truly living in a society where LYING IS THE NORM (despite the Ten Commandments) and somehow we all condone this fact. (Is it a Fact?-Yes.)


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Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Two Signs that The Apocalypse may be delayed:
_#1_This morning I received a phone call from our AbqJournal morning paper delivery person who goes by the handle, 'Newsboy' ; he is thinking of changing that handle to 'Newsguy' which I feel would be a proper thing to do.

So why was 'Newsguy' calling? He wanted to let me know that our morning paper which I had already retrieved with no difficulty at all, had cleared our fence out front but had unfortunately hit an elm tree and therefore was most likely to be found 'between the fence and the elm tree' which in fact it was. He explained to me that he tries to arc it in toward our front door but whebn the paper is thin (like on Mondays/Tuesdays) it is more susceptible to the wind currents.

I thanked Newsguy and let him know that his service was and has been superb; I also called Circulation at the Journal to put in a good word for 'Newsguy' aka 'Newsboy'. I have my own issues with the content/viewpoints of the AbqJournal but none whatsoever with their delivery service. Kudos, Newsguy!!

_#2_Another person called this morning wanting to bring thirty children to our backyard Bunny Town to learn about composting and other delights of urban farming. Perhaps not all is lost with the world when small things like saving the planet or hitting the bull's eye with morning paper delivery still matter.


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Monday, April 10, 2006
To catch the latest POET'S CORNER written by Jeff Hartzer, click: APRIL SHOWERS: a collage of rainy snippets, song titles, and verse .


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QUOTE OF THE DAY: Do you think Al Kaida thinks we're retarded?" Jon Stewart


Two shows worth watching on Tuesday Night:
#1) It's too bad China's President Hu Jintao isn't scheduled to visit the U.S. until next week. He will miss a chance to see this week's FRONTLINE, "The Tank Man." The documentary, produced by veteran filmmaker Antony Thomas, recalls the iconic photo of a single Chinese man who literally stood up against a column of army tanks as it made its way into the heart of Beijing after the 1989 uprising in Tiananmen Square had been crushed. Thomas wondered if he could find out what happened to 'tank man' and the promise of
freedom he has come to symbolize. FRONTLINE: Tuesday, Apr. 11 at 9pm on PBS (check local listings)...Speaking of Chinese lanterns and such, The Rollingstones had a successful brief tour to CHINA this weekend. Bravo .

#2) FX's THIEF is the greatest thing since THE WIRE...Andre Braugher is amazingly superb in this tale of a THIEF (duh!) and his daughter, who in episode one lost her mother; in episode two, her actual father doesn't show for the mom's funeral, so by episode three (this week) the daughter will become even more committed to living with her step-dad, The Thief, whom she witnessed shooting a 'partner thief' in episode one.

None of this is as confusing as the new 'Sunday Night Soap' about the Mormons which I hate to admit I am now hooked on watching. BIG LOVE is the first show/movie I have ever seen in which I thought Bill Paxton was halfway OK as an actor. It makes for quite a Sunday night followup to HBO's The Soprano's . And, thank God, Tony Soprano is now 'up and NOT running' after getting shot by his uncle in Episode One of this final (?) season. My love for Latter Day Saintly Mormons decreased greatly (if indeed there was truly any LOVE there to begin with) by being awakened Sunday morning at 9 a.m. by two smiley-faced-black-suited-guys espousing their smiley-faced espousals to my angry deaf ears. Our Schipperkes gave them a run for their money.

GOT FLAGS? Do you have a flag? Eddie Izzard made this question into quite a funny routine about International Imperialism...Well, if you NEED a flag... this website has EVERY kind of flag you could possibly want to catch Spring's breaking winds in your backyard. The FLAG PEOPLE 'toured' through here on a bus last week and I bought a few...Naturally, I wanted even more though, so I went to their website where I discovered that they will ship flags out to you at the same price as 'in person' (from the bus-side-window-sales) and without shipping costs. Three flags for $25 bucks is cheaper than the US Army pays for their flags.

I bought a USA and a Mexican flag for our AirDance ArtSpace but this week that seems all out of vogue suddenly .The new flag we are supposed to fly is the WHITE FLAG...Maybe too, the Republicans can start showing the White Flag (for actually being whitey/Anglo or for 'giving up' on DUH PRES). Mucho Chaos is happening here today in the high desert with Immigrants and Anglos ON THE MARCH at many locations around Albuquerque. They all have WHITE FLAGS and WHITE tee shirts...In related WHITE snews: Wall Street is tanking again today undoubtedly due to the immigration uproar (yeah right!)...Show your WHITE FLAGS brothers and sisters. Let freedom ring.

Black or white folks shouldn't scuffle with Washington, D.C. coppers. Initially calling on the RACE CARD and then the LADY CARD, then running low on aces, Democratic Rep. Cynthia McKinney has now thrown out her own WHITE FKLAG and apologized for her 'cop incident on the Hill. Speaking of COLORS, what threat level color are we on now? Do we do that anymore, or has that too gone the way of the WHITE FLAG?

Two months to go to HURRICANE SEASON...this past week 67 Hurricane names were 'retired' as being too disastrously burned into our minds to be used again. Katrina was high on the list of names to be retired.

Our Governor, Bill Richardson, has pledged an extra million dollars from the state coffers of New Mexico to bring the total pot to 10 million dollars for decorating the BIG I (Interchange of I-40/I-25) here in Albuquerque. I am not opposed to xeriscaping and beautifying Interstate Interchanges...but the INSANITY of Albuquerque is that ZERO DOLLARS are getting spent on the AMTRAK station downtown. The Amshak has no good runnning toilets, air conditioning or comfy waiting rooms. Sure, we all know AMTRAK is DOOMED but daily trains pass through our TOURISTRA city from Chicago and Los Angeles. And it was the Trains that originally made ABQ the largest city in N.M. You can hop off the train and view the Sandia Mountains or breathe in the mile high 'atmosphere' but god help you if you have to go the the bathroom or make a ticket change inside the AMSHACK. Another billion or so US Dollars is going to the new 'Rail Runner' [ see: link on your right here at Freshchahos.com ] which soon you can take to Belen, New Mexico (the joys of Belen are ah, not so 'joyful'). Eventually, a quick train ride will connect the City Different (aka: Santa Flush or Santa Fe) with Albuquerque...very admirable but...GET TOILETS for the folks passing through here NOW.


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Saturday, April 08, 2006
In case you were wondering, on April 08th, 1513, Explorer Juan Ponce de Leon claimed Florida for Spain. Go Ponce, baby.


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Friday, April 07, 2006
Health SNEWZ:

Recent study shows many sunscreens won't protect you from the rays that will give you melanoma ... especially the ones that develop on body parts never exposed to sunlight. So just stay out of the sun, unless you want to lower your risk of breast cancer and need all that protective Vitamin D. Being White is a bitch!

Just like saccharin, the sugar substitute aspartame is a serious cancerous problem for rats, which is not the case for humans, regardless of quantity of consumption! So drink all the Diet Coke you like and when people tell you that you're endangering your health, tell them to make themselves useful and protest the ongoing abuse of rats!

Los Alamos National Labs folks are spending a lot of money working on a computer model of the possible and immediately improbable pandemic of theoretically mutated Bird Flu. Meanwhile, actual, right now (and in some cases here) epidemics and pandemics such as drug-resistant tuberculosis, malaria, and polio are getting little attention and really inadequate funding. Okeedokee.

Something to think about as you talk away on your "unlimited" weekend minutes ... New AP-AOL-Pew (As in Pepe LePew?) poll determined nearly 90 per cent of cell phone users found other people's cell use annoying, but only 8 per cent admitted their own use might sometimes be rude.


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DEnial ain't a ribbah: Wall Street is falling down the basement stairs today...Could the nearly three dollars a gallon for gasoline have something to do with this? Scooter Libby (yeah right) or is it just Tornado Season? Maybe just a Smiley-faced DEElay to our current world's quest for moolah and power...

Charlie Sheen smokes crack or something since losing gorgeous wife mate...He is saying loudly in the media this week that the whole 9/11 mess was brought about by "controlled demolition and that there was no plane at the Pentagon." Also that DUH PRES may have erroneously talked about watching live footage of the first plane hitting the WTC because "he'd seen similar images in some type of rehearsal." Doesn't much matter now. We're all pretty much screwed and will continue to be for many decades to come.

As seen in THE WEEK: "When VEEP [Dick Douche Cheney] is on the road, he requires that hotels put four Diet Sprites in his suite, turn on all the lights, and preset all televisions to FOX Snewz." I guess he needs to know where his soda and shotguns are at all times.


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Thursday, April 06, 2006
Dick Douche Cheney Aide Says Bush OK'd Leak Taking.

Fresh Quote Chaos of the momento:
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope. - Sir Winston Churchill


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Wednesday, April 05, 2006
The winds are howling here in the high desert afternoon...Screaming through the trees and shrubs almost as hard as this FLAMING CRITICISM JUST in from a reader...: You had an entry stating that "On Wednesday...at two minutes...three seconds after 1:00 a.m., the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06... That won't happen again for a thousand years."

1000 Years??? What about 2106? 2206? 2706? For the love of god!!! What about 2706?!? Sorry. I had to vent re: the blatant disregard of every '06 betwixt now and 3006. Shame on you. Shame on you all!

Sorry, man. My math dysfunction goes way back... I took my first class in what was then referred to as 'the new math' with Sr. Pascal in the seventh grade at St. Matthew's School. I had been attending class regularly for the first two weeks of school, wearing my white shirt, red tie, and Husky-sized blue pants from Jaque Pennay's, when my parents handed me the dial up telephone on a fateful Sunday afternoon. It was then I heard the tragic news that 'the meanest, yet greatest math teacher in the world,' Sr. Pascal had met with misfortune. She was running to meet an old friend (also a Nun) at the old Imeson Airport in Jacksonville, Florida and that sweet (yet mean) dear old Dominican Sr. Pascal was so filled with the SPIRIT of joy (and so on and so forth) that she had run WAY too fast... With black-and-white-habits-a-flying, halfway to the gate concourse, Sr. Pascal had a heart attack, fell over, and died right there in the airport.

Thanks dear reader for bringing up this lifelong cursed LACKING of math skills that I so painfully recall about this time every year with tax time looming... Praise GOD for my lovely wife and business partner whose IQ of 156 (yes, it's all true) is about triple my own. Especially, in the math dept. She can also, by the way, type much better than I can and doesn't have to LOOK at the keyboard NOR does she dis-lex-i-call-eee mis-place lettres [sic: letters] like I do. So there, feeling better now? Don't blame me for my lack of math skills. Blame... er.... God! Yeah, that's the ticket.

HEY>>> BON VOYAGE to the great and dynamic Tom DEE-Lay. Undoubtedly, Tom has a few math skills of his own to work on.

ROUNDBALLS madness is over. The NCAA Wo-Men's final game was a barn burner with hoops of golden earrings. Maryland takes it all the way to Terrapin Station with an OT win over the DukeyStains. Now what's left on the cathode ray plasma TV screens to entertain us next...?

Just this Sign of the Apocalypse: The woman who once dressed in Marilyn Monroe and SpongeBob SquarePants outfits on Halloween; the one who gave television viewers a tour of her colon...yes, that same wo-man will take over the esteemed CBS Evening Snews position once held by both Walter Cronkite and Dan Rather. GO KATIE...Here she is...

Katie Couric

Katie Couric ;
a Ray West photo


If you missed STUDS TERKEL on the Daily Show, well you missed it. It was a hysterically historic interview. That and Sen. John McCain tensely 'laughing it through' with our Man of the Year, Jon Stewart. Between Stewart and Colbert, I learned of the wetlands crisis is now RESOLVED. How'd the genius staff of DUH PRES fix things up? By expanding the wetlands area definition to include GOLF COURSE PONDS as 'wetlands'... These things are funny or horribly sad. We're all gonna die. Those in power do love their golf courses.

Looks like MAYDAY 2006 is already shaping up into a STRIKE ZONE sort of day with reports of immigrants taking 'sick leave' or just not showing up to work NATIONWIDE to draw attention to their current 'up in the air' plight. If Mexicans are ALIENS, what are Canadians? In other STRIKE CHAOS, it's not a good week to be vacationing in Paris. Is the whole world MAD AS HELL? Ironically, if you dig deeper under ANGER, you will always find that UN-American emotion, SADNESS. The current state of FRESH CHAOS in the world is just plain sad...

Thank God for the fact that we are still breathing in and out, in and out, and that soon, that magical twilight time of day will have the visage of MS. KATIE COURIC to take us into the darkness of night.

Katie Couric cheerleader

Katie Couric ;
from 'The Essential KC Collection'


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Monday, April 03, 2006
JUSTin from a reader (and maybe a watcher of clocks; certainly a follower of world CHAOS...):

On Wednesday of this week, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06... That won't happen again for a thousand years.


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FRESH CHAOS TIDBITS:
__April is off to a swirling start with TORNADO CHAOS.
__Speaking of vinegar swirling like snakes in a bottle, there's a new political strategy for the Bush-Man ...Will it work?† Stranger things have happened.
__Here's an interactive you might enjoy. I tried only the Move or Die, but there are some others, as well. Get ready to negotiate! mediation/negotiation simulation .

Last night we saw the Grateful Dead and they were all alive and well and even better than they used to be. They now call themselves (and have for quite some time) the DARK STAR ORCHESTRA . The 'in tune' and well 'in the groove of the beat' band appeared at the El Rey Theater a great place for Albuquerque's downtown scene (FAR more comfortable, friendly, and soundworthy than its competitor the Sunshine Theater)...It was a great show that 'repeated' a Dead show of 7/7/1978. Have fun visiting the DSO website...get in the groove, man. Hate to admit this but I once wrote a music column called IN THE GROOVE for my High School newspaper...Interviewed the actual Strawberry Alarmclock for an article in fact. I was a groovin dude back then. Coming soon to Albuquerque's El Rey is Burning Spear and the Drive By Truckers (not on same night, thank god).


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Sunday, April 02, 2006
FISHED IN by the Guild Theater [See April Fools Day entry below]...Whew...I was sorry to see the 'news' of the teaters demise and the way Albuquerque's Cioty Government works not 'surorised' by the content of the April Fools' joke. Fact is, was reeled in heart and sole...Kind of sad though that my faith in the City of Albuquerque is so lacking...Here's the latest scoop....

FROM The Guild Theater Staff...Fear not. It is a joke.† You want to see something REALLY funny?† Check out this response from†one of our patrons which we just got: We do feel that it is wrong for you to be evicted on such short notice and don't understand why a more civilized approach could not have been used.† Otherwise our reaction can only be described as mixed.† We hate to lose the old Guild Theater, which offered something that was otherwise hard to find in Albuquerque; it emphasized quality foreign films and other classic or quality specialty films not often seen here. Unfortunately, much of the old Guild Theater appeal was lost when the current management took over -- since then, most films shown are either pretty weird (PINK FLAMINGOS is an extreme example) or propaganda for leftist political and/or social causes, and neither of these have appealed to us.† The coming demolition, therefore, only represents a final physical†symbol for an artistic and entertainment loss that occurred some time ago.† We even find a certain ironic satisfaction that the new occupant of the land will be something with "Atomic" in its name! Sorry we can't be more supportive, but we felt sort of betrayed by what the Guild had become.


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Saturday, April 01, 2006
More Signs of the Apocalypse:MUMPS MARCH on from Iowa now into Nebraska. Is thisthe NEW POLIO ? AAAAAAHHHHHH !

An APRIL FOOL'S joke from our High Desert Local scene...another Movie Theater goes down for an ATOMIC MUSEUM...This joke or NOT a joke, JUSTin:
Dear Patrons of the Guild Cinema,
__It is with much shock and sadness that we make the announcement that the Guild Cinema will be closed as of tonight, with our final show taking place at 10:30 PM this evening. We have just learned (at 9:30 AM today) of secret negotiations which have been taking place between the City of Albuquerque and a Washington, DC-based developer called TIA Holdings, Inc. These negotiations have apparently resulted in an agreement between our landlord and the city for TIA to purchase our building and raze it sometime within the next one to two months. This is being done to increase the parcel size of the upcoming retail/condo development planned for the corner of Tulane and Central.
__We are stunned to learn that our wonderful theater will be destroyed to make way for what will be called the New Atomic Museum of Nob Hill - an adjunct of the Old Town museum - which will be connected to the condo/retail development by way of a "walking bridge" which will arch over Tulane, cross the roof of Il Vicino, and connect to what will be a new five-story "annex" of the development on the parcel of land which now holds the Guild. The Museum will reside in the bottom floor and four so-called "affordable housing" units in the popular "live/work" style will occupy the other four floors.
__Last-minute phone calls to all concerned parties have been futile thus far; we received an eviction notice in the form of a registered letter this morning spelling our all the details. All we can hope for is a concerted effort by our patrons to force this alliance between TIA and the city to change course, but we are so shocked by the finality of our eviction notice that we are pretty much resigned to our fate.
__Therefore, we have decided to close this Guild chapter by adding a last-minute, FREE (donations for our legal defense accepted) screening tonight, Saturday April 1st, of John Waters' legendary x-rated cult epic, PINK FLAMINGOS, at 10:30 PM. Not for the squeamish, PINK FLAMINGOS stars Divine, Edith Massey and other Waters regulars enacting the vile story of two families competing for the title of "Filthiest People Alive". It details their one-upping strategies in hideously graphic and disgusting form, escalating towards perhaps the most infamous and perverted sequence ever put onto film, and is most definitely FOR ADULTS ONLY. Screening begins at 10:30 PM sharp, with doors opening at 10:00 PM after the conclusion of BALLETS RUSSES (we'll see how much spillover we get from THAT audience) and being locked immediately thereafter. No latecomers accepted!

Thank you for your support over these years,
THE GUILD CINEMA
P.S. Everything in the penultimate paragraph of this email is completely factual.
*****************
GOOD FOR YOU, ALBUQUERQUE...our city's one-time slogan.


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Happy April Fools from good old Geoffrey Chaucer
Try to read these lines aloud without bursting into laughter; not much else to be 'foolish' about in the world today or is there?

"Whan that Aprill with his shoures soote
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour
Of which vertu engendred is the flour,
Whan Zephirus eek with his sweete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tender croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halve cours yronne,
And smale foweles maken melodye,
That slepen al the nyght with open ye
(So priketh hem nature in hir corages),
Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages,
And palmers for to seken straunge strondes,
To ferne halwes, kowthe in sondry londes;
And specially from every shires ende
Of Engelond to Caunterbury they wende,
The hooly blissful martir for to seke,
That hem hath holpen whan that they were seeke."

From The Canterbury Tales : General Prologue

__'Kosher' Phone Merges Technology, Faith.

__Men's FINAL 4 update...


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So much Chaos,
So little time.

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