CHAOS: Where brilliant dreams are born...Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be Chaos... I Ching
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
You knew it was coming...tonight news reporters are asking the question, did Bob Woodruff suffer facial wounds? A true Hollywood moment in the evening news (other than the ABC channels. Speaking of Hollywood, for several weeks now i have been receiving ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY. I didn't order it. thought it was from an anonomous friend for an Xmess gift.
Today I learn that my 'free subscription' is compliments of YOURMUSIC.com (see advertisement to your right). Nothing on this website (or any of our eight sites), is there selling something I have not bought or tried. I have enjoyed my membership in YourMusic.com and this free subscription is a nice bonass. So click and join today, whadda ya say?
The world is moments away from 'the Bushmeister' on all channels. Must tune in to watch the spectacle of MONKEY MAN insanity.
Breaking Winds: It's the end of the world as we know; do you feel fine?
__The United States Senate has confirmed Samuel Alito as the 110th Supreme Court Justice of the United States.
__Coretta Scott King Has Died At Age 78.
In other snewz:
__ Baby Jessica Weds in Midland, Texas.
__DUH PRES is coming to Albuquerque this Friday...location unknown. You can make a safe bet (Seahawks anyone?) that there will be plenty of BASTARD LIBERALS waving those damnedable signs in the street. New Mexico sure ain't KANSAS...
__Today's archly conservative Albuquerque Journal has a cartoon by Trevor showing DUH PRES riding his bicycle and dogs chasing him captioned Year of the Dog. Each dog is labeled: 'GOP Scandals', 'Gas Prices', 'Medicare Rx Plan', 'Wiretaps', and 'Iraq'...You got that right Mr. Trevor. Go Dogs...
__Shelly Wu says this about The Year of the Dog:The year of the Yang (+) Dog teaches the lessons of watchfulness, defense of the weak and fair play. International justice will be the order of the year. Causes, protests and the righting of wrongs defines Dog years. Out of intense complexities, intense simplicities emerge. Very appropriate for our sadly failing planet.
__The Daily Show last week showed a clip of DUH PRES staring dazedly at a loose microphone oddly dangling from the ceiling in front of him. His childlike-deer-in-a-headlight-astonishment was positively sad...like when he was reading books to those kids back on the morning of September 11th, 2001.
A new, improved Jeff Hartzer dot com is up and running. Be the first on your block to chase the many links-a-plenty until cyberspacial blindness sets in. Smell the narcissism bloom.
Holy Moly a USPS Shooting...Damn those new postal rates!
JUSTin from a reader (or two):
__101 Dumbest Moments in Business for 2005...Here's a sample from the list: Relax...Have a toke and your work productivity will improve! [#5] So that's why they call it a CrackBerry. A study by the University of London's Institute of Psychiatry, commissioned by Hewlett-Packard, finds that "an average worker's functioning IQ falls 10 points when distracted by ringing telephones and incoming e-mails ... more than double the four-point drop seen following studies on the impact of smoking marijuana."
__And this news about 'February First' (if the 'State of our Onion' makes it through 1/31/06 that is):::
The feast day of St. Bridgit (or Brigit) coincides with Imbolc (or Imbulc), the first day of Spring in the pagan calendar, when seeds stir in the ground and the light of day begins to visibly lengthen...A very cool thing is happening Feb 1 at 3 PM Dublin time. The 'regathered nuns' of Bridgit (as of 1996) are going to re-light Bridgit's eternal flame in the market place square in Kildare where her cathedral is. They have been tending the relit flame these ten years in their order retreat house. It's rumored that Tony Blair himself may do the lighting, if not him, then the mayor of Kildare. They are inviting all in the world to participate from where ever you are, figuring out the time differential if you can, to light a flame to her dearness and please come again...
God Save St. Bridgit and Dubya too.
Al-Zawahri Mocks Bush in a blistering blast...By the way...What color of TERROR are we in this week...? SOUPER BOWLS and DUH PRES on the tube tonight. AHHH.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Less than a month ago named as evening Co-Anchor with Elizabeth Vargas on ABC television, today Bob Woodruff and cameraman Doug Vogt are recovering from injuries suffered when their convoy was hit by an improvised explosive device in Iraq.
Coming the week of DUH PRES making his latest State of the Onion speech, the timing couldn't be worse for old Dubya's bad jokes and hee hees. This quick and easy war is nothing but and we are starting year four soon of a Mission Not Accomplished.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Our favorite CHINESE ASTROLOGY website has all you need to know about the YEAR OF THE FIRE DOG...Woof, Woof !!
2006, YEAR OF THE DOG !
Friday, January 27, 2006
Last weekend's Ripley's Believe it or Don't in the SUNDAY COMICS featured none other than our Enchanted Land's Governor Bill Richardson who was touted as having ONCE SHOOK OVER 13,000 HANDS IN ONE DAY. Believe it or don't.
JUSTin: our readers write...
I just sent a fax to Congress to save our at vanishing wildlife. The House recently passed legislation which would tear apart protections for our endangered wildlife. If this bill passes the Senate, our wolves, bald eagles, sea otters, and other endangered animals will be at risk of extinction.
Gay cowboys are now the new penguins...Could be quite a metaphysical sentence.(If not for the penguin movie of a few months back.)
Going Native in America:The Benefits of Becoming Indian.
Here's another find from cyberspace.
A free and smooth 'democratic election' puts HAMAS legally on the map of the world...Today's headlines are nothing to write home about...
__Thousands of Fatah Members Protest in Gaza
__Documents Show Army Seized Wives As Tactic
__State Dept. to Review Aid to Palestinians
__New Orleans May Lose 80 Percent of Blacks
__FDA Approves Inhalable Version of Insulin
__Republicans Clear the Way for Alito Vote
__George W. Bushmeister made it to NUMBER ONE on this year's Esquire Magazine's MOST DUBIOUS ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS. Congrats to the Dubsterly DUH PRES.
__Sunday is the first day of the NEW YEAR OF THE DOG and it HAS to be a better year than the Year of the Rooster. Is the world ON THE BRINK this weekend??...I feel that it is and I hope that the BRINK is leading to something big, good, and wonderful.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
O-ma-God...it is sprinkling and flaking white stuff outside...First honest to God moisture here in the High Desert since Roctober '05...This JUSTin...readers write:
A reader from Pennsylvania writes:"I want to run for Representative for Pennsylvania's 10th Congressional District on a platform calling for the impeachment of President George Walker Bush.
The three planks I nailed together in my platform out to get me elected. "impeach bush" is the first plank. The second is "impeach bush". The third is like the second, "impeach bush". See
the opening salvo of my campaign."
A reader from Texas sends this:
Overheard from Congressman Seuss
That Abramoff! That Abramoff!
I do not like that Abramoff!
"Would you like to play some golf?"
I do not want to play some golf.
I do not want to, Abramoff.
"We could fly you there for free.
Off to Scotland, by the sea."
I do not want to fly for free.
I don't like Scotland by the sea.
I do not want to play some golf.
I do not want to, Abramoff.
"Would you, could you, take this bribe?
Could you, would you, for the tribe?"
I would not, could not, take this bribe.
I could not, would not, for the tribe.
"If we strong-armed corporations
Into giving you donations?
They'd be funneled to your PAC.
Would you then cut us some slack?"
I would not, could not, cut you slack.
I do not care about my PAC.
I do not want to play some golf.
I do not want to, Abramoff.
"A plane! A plane! A plane! A plane!
Would you, could you, for a plane?"
I could not, would not, for a plane.
Not for a bribe, not for the tribe.
Not for donations from corporations.
Not for my PAC, not for some slack.
Not from any schmoe named Jack.
"Would you help us buy some ships
Perfect for quick gambling trips?
Talk to people in the know
For a little quid pro quo?
Oh come now, don't be a snob.
Let us give your wife a job."
I will not help you buy some ships.
I do not wish for gambling trips.
My wife does not need a job
Even if she is a snob.
We do not like bribes, can't you see?
Why won't you just let me be?
"You do not like bribes, so you say.
Try them, try them, and you may.
Try them and you may, I say."
Jack. If you will let me be
I will try them, then you'll see.
Say.... I do like playing golf!
I like it, I do, Abramoff!
I do like Scotland by the sea.
It's such a thrilling place to be!
And I will take this bribe.
And I will help the tribe.
And I will take donations
From big corporations.
And I will help you buy some ships.
And I will take quick gambling trips.
Say, I'll give anyone the shaft
As long as it involves some graft!
I do so like playing golf!
Thank you! Thank you,
Saturday, January 21, 2006
__President Bush previewed three domestic themes of his upcoming State of the Union address - tax cuts, energy prices and the rising cost of health care - in his weekly radio broadcast today. About four in 10 Americans - 39 percent - approve of Bush's handling of the economy while 59 percent disapprove .
__The lost and distressed whale stranded in the River Thames ( a 20-foot-long Northern bottlenose whale) died today as rescue workers ferried it on a rusting salvage barge in an effort to release it in the open sea.
__In 2004 there were 28,400 visits to the ER for cheerleading accidents.
__Rescuers today found the bodies of two miners who disappeared after a conveyor belt caught fire deep inside a coal mine, bringing to 14 the number of West Virginia miners killed on the job in less than a month.
__The longest sniper kill to date is 1,050 yards performed by a USMC grunt in Iraq recently.
__Pakistan's president told a senior American official today that the United States must not repeat airstrikes like the one that apparently was aimed at al-Qaida but killed civilians in a remote village.
__The Roman Catholic church has recently declared that the State of Limbo no longer exists.
__Hunter S. Thompson's widow is launching a new magazine to be called, THE WOODY CREEKER.
__Re: Laura Bush, W. reports that "she's not interested in running for office; she's interested in literarcy". And she has a heck of a job ahead of her in that category.
__Viva la France: the transplant patient who recently had had of her face re-done, has again taken up SMOKING cigareetes. Undoubtedly, a French brand of cigs no less.
__The average smoker in the United Kingdom will spend $160,000 on cigarettes in a lifetime.
__Our favorite new color for the weekend is PERIDOT.
__Who's going to win big tomorrow and at the Super Bowl??? Take our poll to your right. It's FREE, easy, and so much fun.
__If you missed David Letterman chewing up Bill O'Reilly, here's the clip on the web...
Friday, January 20, 2006
KONG is King!!
We took a three hour tour yesterday to SKULL ISLAND and was impressed with the latest movie from Peter Jackson, the man who brought us Lord of the Strings. The second remake of KING KONG is truly a masterpiece of austere beauty and beastial grotesqueries: yes, it's Beauty and the Beast to the Max. And the three hours plus moves much more quickly than 'Lord of the Strings' epics for sure.
The original tale by Merian C. Cooper of Jacksonville, Florida is handled with reverence and true detail...The job done by the FX crew as well as the man in the monkey suit, the beautiful girl, the onorous Karl Denham, N.Y. in the days of old, the sea journey into the Heart of Darkness...it's all good. This, however, is not is not your mother or father's King Kong...I can't say that I would take a child to see it despite the PG 13 rating. And definitely not the KONG to 'drop acid' for. Kong doesn't show for about forty five minutes, so take a potty break early on...And see this one at the theater; don't wait for the DVD version.
The official movie site is fun and worth a visit or two if you have a quick download time.
Wilson Pickett, best-known for his hits "In the Midnight Hour" and "Mustang Sally", has passed into the heavenly halls of fame.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
JUSTin from Bin: Al-Jazeera says it has received a new audiotape from Osama bin
Laden saying al-Qaida is making preparations for attacks in the United States but offering a truce to rebuild Iraq and Afghanistan. The voice on the tape says heightened security measures in the United States are not the reason there have been no attacks there since the 9/11/01. Instead, the reason is "because there are operations that need preparations, and you will see them."
Is this, then, a Day of Infamy?
Check out January 19th's place in History...And/or those Born on this day:
-Pulcheria ,Byzantine empress (d. 453 )
- King Francis II of France (d. 1560 )
-James Watt , Scottish inventor (d. 1819 )
-Joseph Bonomi the Elder , Italian architect (d. 1808 )
-Robert E. Lee , Confederate general (d. 1870 )
-Lysander Spooner , American philosopher (d. 1887 )
-Edgar Allan Poe , American writer/poet(d. 1849 )
- Sir Henry Bessemer , English inventor (d. 1898 )
-Paul Cézanne , French painter (d. 1906 )
-John F. Stairs , Canadian statesman (d. 1904 )
-Jacobus Kapteyn , Dutch astronomer (d. 1922 )
-Werner Sombart , German sociologist (d. 1941 )
-Alexander Woollcott , American intellectual (d. 1943 )
-Hans Hotter , German bass-baritone (d. 2003 )
-Leonid Kantorovich , Russian/won Nobel Prize (d. 1986 )
-Minnesota Fats , American billiards player (d. 1996 )
-John Raitt , American singer/actor (d. 2005 )
-John H. Johnson , American publisher (d. 2005 )
-Javier Pérez de Cuéllar , Peruvian Secretary General
-Patricia Highsmith , American author (d. 1995 )
-Guy Madison , American actor (d. 1996 )
-Jean Stapleton , American actress
-Markus Wolf , German spy
-Nicholas Colasanto , American actor (d. 1985 )
-Jean-Francois Revel , French author
-Fritz Weaver , American actor
-Tippi Hedren , American actress
- Robert MacNeil , Canadian journalist
-Richard Lester , British director
-Phil Everly , American musician
-Colin Gunton , British theologian (d. 2003 )
-Michael Crawford , British singer/actor
-Janis Joplin , American singer (d. 1970 )
- Princess Margriet of the Netherlands
-Shelley Fabares , American actress
- Peter Lynch , American investor
-Dan Reeves , American football coach
-Julian Barnes , English author
- Dolly Parton , American singer/actress
-Frank McKenna , Premier of New Brunswick/Ambassador
-Robert Palmer , English singer and guitarist (d. 2003 )
- Dennis Taylor , Irish snooker player
-JEFF HARTZER , Astoundingly Creative Dude
-David Patrick Kelly , American actor
-Desi Arnaz Jr. , American actor
-Simon Rattle , English conductor
- Paul Rodriguez , Mexican-born actor and comedian
-Katey Sagal , American actress, singer, and writer
-Floris Jan Bovelander , Dutch field hockey player
- Stefan Edberg , Swedish tennis player
-Junior Seau , American football player
-Shawn Wayans , American actor, writer, and producer
- John Wozniak , Singer/songwriter ( Marcy Playground )
-Drea de Matteo , American actress
- Karen Lancaume , French actress (d. 2005 )
-Jaime Moreno , Bolivian footballer
-Lauren , Cameroon footballer
-Svetlana Khorkina , Russian gymnast
-Asier Del Horno , Spanish footballer
-Jodie Sweetin , American actress
-Hikaru Utada , Japanese singer/songwriter
-Rika Ishikawa , Japanese singer
-Logan Lerman , American actor
-Elián González , Cuban refugee.
Here's a song sent to me in honor my making it totoday , this first day of the rest of my life...
I wasn't Born to Follow
(lyrics: Carole King/Gary Goffin; sung by The Byrds)
Oh, I'd rather go and journey
Where the diamond crests are glowin'
And run across the valley
Beneath the sacred mountain
And wander through the forest
Where the trees have leaves of prisms
And break the light in colours
That no one knows the names of
And when it's time I'll go and wait
Beside a legendary fountain
Till I see your form reflected
In its clear and jewelled waters
And if you think I'm ready
You may lead me to the chasm
Where the rivers of our vision
Flow into one another
I will want to dive beneath
The white cascading waters
She may beg she may plead
She may argue with her logic
And then she'll know the things I learned
That really have no value
In the end she will surely know
I wasn't born to follow...
May 2006 be a good year for all of us on the big blue planet and beyond.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Check out the latest blow from the Alaskan Volcano Observatory. It's The End of the World as We Know it. Do you feel fine?
Thanks to alert readers, these two pictures of terrorists are JUSTin:
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Check out The Dead Body Guy, a middle-aged man's dream to excel in the entertainment industry in the pivotal role as the dead body!
And ... Dogs Excel on Smell Test to Find Cancer. A California (where else?) clinic claims its 5 trained pooches have a 99% accuracy in literally sniffing out lung cancer from people's breath. So, how are you to know if Fido is enjoying that steak on your breath or giving you the bad news that you stopped smoking just a little too late?
Monday, January 16, 2006
Happy Day Off for your many Martin Luther King, Jr. celebrations. Personally, I am celebrating this headline:
CONDleeezzzaaa Again Rules Out 2008 White House Run ...
But seriously, folks...Here is the complete text of "I Have A Dream" by Martin Luther King, Jr.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Momentary Links to FRESH CHAOS:
__Ever heard of Back Masking? Quite innerestin'!
__The Polar Bears' Last Stand
__Pictures of Anti-War Protests
__Life as teenage SHUT ins...
Two SNEWZ BREAKS sent in by a reader:
__The Pentagon lists an anti-war protest at the University of California - Santa Cruz as a "credible threat" in its terrorism surveillance. In mid-December, NBC News uncovered a Pentagon surveillance program that lists over 1,500 "suspicious incidents," including many anti-war protests. This is an attempt to put political protest in the same category as terrorism, and build up surveillance databases of organizations that oppose the war on Iraq.
The protest last spring at UC-Santa Cruz, organized by Students Against War, brought 300 students out to demand an end to military recruitment on campus, and succeeded in making the recruiters leave their campus that day. That anti-war organizations are being spied on by the Defense Department is ominous of the overall police state measures the Bush regime is cementing into place.
(Source: "A Protest, a Spy Program, and a Campus in an Uproar", NY Times, 1/14)
__JAN 31st, 2006... All across the country you can join in rallies one hour before Bush’s address that evening to “Drive Out the Bush Regime”, the political message of the day.
At 9:00 PM EST, just as Bush starts to speak, everywhere we will BRING THE NOISE. In a cacophony of sound we will drown out his address with music: from drums to violins, from hip hop and classical and with noise: banging pots and ringing church bells, sound car horns and lifting our voices
Rallies are organizing NOW! Check in for updates.Get involved!
Friday, January 13, 2006
Happy FLYDAY the THIRTEENTH...Our favorite CHINESE ASTROLOGY website has finally posted all you need to know about the coming YEAR OF THE FIRE DOG...click away...Go Dogs!
2006, Year of the Fire Dog!
One little thing I note at Shelley Wu's website page is this particular prediction for the New Year of the Fire Dog: The year of the Yang (+) Dog teaches the lessons of watchfulness, defense of the weak and fair play. International justice will be the order of the year. Causes, protests and the righting of wrongs defines Dog years. Out of intense complexities, intense simplicities emerge. EGGSELLENT...!!
JUSTin from a reader: Some Friday the thirteenth humor:
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
Only three more years...and then? Will the moon still hang in the sky?
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Tired of getting emails sent out tto EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST?
Here's a great website all about NET-i-QUETTE sent in by a reader.
George W. Bush made a number of speeches yesterday; today the Market tumbles. Probably unrelated.
Compared to THE DIXIE CHICKS getting booed out of their lives not too long ago, GREEN DAY says the times they are CHANGED: JUSTin, a reader writes:
Green Day's latest album American Idiot was released late 2004. They've been touring everywhere promoting it for the last year and a half, apparently. Big parental advisory on cool cover (see below). Rolling Stone article made it sound as if all 57 minutes is about Bush, but album includes "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"...
According to Amazon.com:
For its first new set of music since 2000's Warning , Green Day tears up the blueprint and comes up with something unexpected: a punk rock concept album built around elaborate melodies, odd tempo changes, and a collection of songs that freely reference classic rock warhorses like the Beatles and Pink Floyd .
American Idiot is one of the most anticipated and controversial albums of the year. Scathing yet self-effacing as it tells the tale of Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong, American Idiot is the punk rock epic. "A bold, polished punk opera." (Entertainment Weekly)
Many thanks for the GREEN spanks. Sad to have an idiot at the helm of our nation.
JUSTin: A reader currently living in the beautiful islands of GREECE writes:
Whole lotta shakin goin on!
My wife and I were having soup for lunch at home at the time. It starts without warning. It was a trembling at first and then it became larger and more jolting. Back and forth we could hear the plates on the wall rattle and a stuffed animal jumped off the top of the cabinet. We got up and went to a corridor and door jamb, hoping we would be OK. We could almost hear both our hearts beating rapidly as we clung together. It was only about 7 seconds they said on the news, but it felt like an hour. When it was over as suddenly as it began we said to each other lets pack our bags. But we are still here. It was 6.5 on the Richter Scale and one of the most powerful ever recorded. Its center was deep in the ocean near the Island of Crete. Some damage was reported in the islands in that area, mostly in the older buildings built before the current earthquake requirements. Virtually all the construction in Greece is cement and rebar and earthquake resistant. Athens was a mere village 50 years ago so most all of the buildings has some level of earthquake awareness in its construction. No one was hurt and we have survived to tell our story to our friends!
Come on over and you too can shake shake shake your booty!!!
[You gotta LIVE FOR TODAY...]
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Apple Unveils New Macs Using Intel Chips...
Virginia Tech quarterback (former that is), Marcus Vick, who last week intentionally stomped on the leg of Louisville's Elvis Dumervil in the Gator Bowl game, has now pulled a gun on teenagers at a Mickey D's...This after getting a speeding ticket and a ticket for having a suspened license. Saturday he announced he would 'turn Pro'...in the State Pen League? You gotta love America's gladiators both at the collegiate and professional levels of 'the sport'...
Monday, January 09, 2006
Harry Belafonte says that President Bush is the greatest terrorist in the world.... Eggsellent !
Check out standup comic Christopher Titus's NORMAN ROCKWELL IS BLEEDING on The Comedy Channel for some laughs about his 'hilarious' childhood. Hilarious. Warning may bring up 'your issues'!! Certainly delves into all of his family issues anyway.
James Risen s on the Daily Show tonight. Should be "very innerestin' "...but Jon Stewart is always innerestin' and this year may be the only reason I will try for once to sit down and watch THE OSCARS all the way through as HE, Jon Stewart, is the Host.
THE SIMPSONS this week had Bart write on the blackboard,"I AM NOT SMARTER THAN THE PRESIDENT". Surely would make a fine tee shirt.
Catch Jeff Hartzer's latest online edition of the Poet's Corner entitled, Lines of Age .
DOH!! SIMPSONS SUED
God Bless George W. Bush and those mighty Tax Cuts...Today the Dow Jones Industrial Average closes above 11,000 for the first time since 2001!! Ooh Baby...the whole world is falling apart but not all of us are suffering or so it would seem. Many dispute the reality of 'the Dow' as a marker for our nation's wealth. But when the rich get their breaks like little or no 'inheritance tax'...taxes reduced for stock portfolio gains...Whoo Hoo say the war protesting boomers in their bimmers...Aah, we bask in the Republicanisms...as their sun sets into the coming year of legal battles, more war dead, and Mother Nature wildly rampaging throughout the entire world.
Soon it will be the Year of the Dog...is this a good thing? We'll see come January 29th, the Year of the Cock fades out...take a look at the upcoming Year of the Dog . Find out what is in store for your own Dog Year predictions .
There's a great story in our morning paper about an [angry] old man in Fort Sumner, New Mexico who was burning leaves in his front yard when a mouse appeared on his door step. The old man snatched up the little mouse and threw it into the pile of fiery leaves. The little mouse burst mightily into flames and then rapidly ran into the old man's house...Luciano Mares 81, lost all his belongings and had the entire interior of his ancient house destroyed by flames which spread from the mouse's back. The mighty little mouse perished as well. Sad, funny, and a true story. I'd go so far as saying heck it's a metaphor for our world today.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
__Rep. Tom DeLay, R-Texas, has decided to give up his post as House Majority
Leader, amidst a growing corruption scandal in Congress.
__Albert Hofmann, the father of LSD, will turn 100 next week, a milestone to be marked by a symposium in Basel, Switzerland.
__A federal appeals court upholds the conviction of celebrity homemaker Martha Stewart.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
__Here's more surprising news from Nature...
__Uncle Pat Robertson Links Ariel Sharon's Stroke to God's Wrath...Praise the Lord-a-mighty...
__Don't miss The Magical Victory Tour by MATT TAIBBI who some consider to be THE NEXT Hunter S. Thompson as seen at Rollingstone's Politics.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Can 2006 be 'worse' than 2005?
Is your New Year's 'toasting glass' half full or half empty or downright broken into smithereens? [and what is a 'smithereen' anyway?]
Our hearts go out to all West Virginia mining families...to hear that all is well only to be followed by all is horrible is triply awful...And the news that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon has suffered a
cerebral hemorrhage and a serious stroke certainly bodes for FRESHCHAOS and possibly a lot of it in that area of the world...
Oops... Those miners said to be miraculously alive late last night...well... 12 are dead; one survives.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
What a night for the 22nd ranked FSU Seminoles. Hope Joe, where's my wheelchair Mr. Magoo, Paterno got some sleep after the triple overtime chaos brought against his #3 ranked team in the Orange Bowl. And why was a #22 team against a #3 team anywho? Not a great night for place kickers. This game may prove to be even more exciting than the #1 and #2 teams when they Go for the Bowl of Roses.
It's a new year with the same old Republicans (for the most part though the 'inner tides' are churning)...
JUSTin...our readers write:REPUBLICANISMS!!
__abstinence-only sex education n. Ignorance-only sex education
__alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil
__bankruptcy n. A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not corporations
__"burning bush" n. A biblical allusion to the response of the President of the United States when asked a question by a journalist who has not been paid to inquire
__Cheney, Dick n. The greater of two evils
__China n. See Wal-Mart
__class warfare n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage
__climate change n. The blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans
__compassionate conservatism n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy
__creationism n. Pseudoscience that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental
__DeLay, Tom n. 1. Past tense of De Lie 2. Patronage saint
__democracy n. A product so extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted
__dittohead n. An Oxy(contin)moron
__energy independence n. The caribou witness relocation program
__extraordinary rendition n. Outsourcing torture
__faith n. The belief that God approves of Republican moral values despite the preponderance of textual evidence to the contrary
__Fox News fict. Faux news
__free markets n. Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense
__girly men n. Males who do not grope women inappropriately
__God n. Senior presidential adviser
__growth n. 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich
__habeas corpus n. Archaic. (Lat.) Legal term no longer in use (See Patriot Act)
__healthy forest n. No tree left behind
__homelandism n. A neologism for love of the Homeland Security State, as in "My Homeland, 'tis of thee, sweet security state of liberty..."
__honesty n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Freedom is on the march"
__House of Representatives n. Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5 million (See Senate)
__laziness n. When the poor are not working
__leisure time n. When the wealthy are not working
__liberal(s) n. Followers of the Antichrist
__Miller, Zell n. The man who shot and killed Alexander Hamilton after a particularly tough interview on Hardball
__neoconservatives n. Nerds with Napoleonic complexes
__9/11 n. Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy, especially if unrelated (See Deficit, Iraq War)
__No Child Left Behind riff. 1. v. There are always jobs in the military [Ann Klopp, Princeton, NJ]. 2. n. The rapture
__ownership society n. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth
__Patriot Act n. 1. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first. 2. The elimination of one of the reasons why they hate us
__pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birth
__Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million
__simplify v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors
__staying the course interj. Slang. Saying and doing the same stupid thing over and over, regardless of the result
__stuff happens interj. Slang. Donald Rumsfeld as master historian
__voter fraud n. A significant minority turnout
__Wal-Mart n. The nation-state, future tense
__ water n. Arsenic storage device
__woman n. 1. Person who can be trusted to bear a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have the child. 2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place
DEAD: Actor and Comedian, Richard De Angelis who played Baltimore police, Col. Raymond Foerster, on WIRED.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Check out the latest NFL STANDINGSthrough games of 01/01/2006 .
BREAKING WIND:__W.Va. Explosion Traps 13 Miners...Good News...the W.Va. Football teams kicks butt at Sugar Bowl.
JUSTin...our readers write:
__Here are the 25 Most Interesting Webcams of 2005 .
__Saw a bumpersticker that I thought said "Emote-Damn It!" On closer viewing it actually and actively stated "EVOLVE, DAMN IT!" I think I need that one.
Coming soon...The Year of the DOG (officially Jan. 29th, 2006)...Here's a chaotically great bunch of doggerel sayings sent in by a reader:
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
A dog teaches a child fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three
times before lying down.
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
- Dave Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your
pocket and then give him only two of them.
My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am...