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Monday, October 31, 2005
Scary: __October is the deadliest month in Iraq since, ahh well, let's see, make that January 2005, the very first month of this YEAR of EARTH CHANGES. Two more months to go with the crowing Rooster. How many more in Iraqi quagmire?
__DUH PRES has chosen Samuel Alito for Supreme Court nomination...hmmm.

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Sunday, October 30, 2005
"Never underestimate the power of Denial." (from the movie,American Beauty)

It is one great Heck of a job, Brownie sort of Sunday here in the high desert...Yes, another clear-blue-non-Republican sort of paradisio sky...Ahh, autumn with a great-big-bubbling-over-black-hole developing in Washington, D.C. It's been A LONG TIME COMING...ALMOST CUT MY HAIR...4 DEAD IN OHIO; 2K+ DEAD IN IRAQ...Ooh Baby...And Unkie Karl is sitting on that next fence over there with BIG dogs barkin' on the other side...big 'uns I tell you.

So what are 'they' saying about all of this?
DUH PRES: "Ongoing legal proceedings are serious..." See you in South America; gotta go. R-O-A-D-T-R-I-P !!!
Mr.Mr. Cheneyhead: "on Libby (that's SCOOTER to you!):" of the most talented individuals I have ever known..."
[ SNL'S opening monologue nailed it all with Mr.Mr.Cheneyhead saying there's "no problem in the Oval Office" just as smoke pours out all around him and firemen rush around in panic screaming he's got to go...Just cuz there's smoke doesn't mean there's a problem...Nah...]
Unkie Karlie (aka: 'Official A') :"...any of my misstatements were unintentional..." Huh??
Peter THE MAN Fitzgerald:DOING A HECK OF A JOB, PETE DUDE...and you are so handsome and manly, too.

More Snewz:
__Death toll now at 21 in Floreedah with 833,000 still without power...and those elderly folk do go out and vote, if their electric elevators in the condo are working. November 22nd might bring about 'a full restoration of power' just in time to bake a turkey or COOK SOMEONE'S GOOSE.

__Pope John Paul's Mobile Unit, a 72 Ford Escort just sold for $690,000 USD. Pretty pricey for an economy model built for small papal products; not to mention there are no hubcaps, no AC, & zippo radio...Yay-Zuu-Cristo...You got taken, Dude.

__Rosa Parks finally takes a seat and it's the best one in the house: dead center at the Capitol Rotunda in Washington, D.C. No wonder DUH PRES has left town...Sweet, gentle, kind, and true to her heart, Rosa Parks, is just not one of his people.

__MARRIED, but NOT MARRIED? reads a headline for an advertisement in our local Sunday paper. It is sponsored by the same folks who bring you the latest fashionable Roman Catholic doctrines...The advertisement continues, Are you a Catholic living in a marital relationship, but NOT married by the Church? Would you like to get married by the Church in a Large Group Wedding Ceremony...?

Well Father and Good Sisters, let me think on that...I AM such a person who not only was NOT married by either the mob OR by the CHURCH; I wasn't even married IN a CHURCH...Fact is, my wife and I after being rudely and roundly refused by you over twenty years ago when we asked ya'll about being Married in your stinkin' Church, we got married on a rooftop!! O.K. , I will ignominiously admit that we were also refused by a Rabbi...But to add insult to injury and to joblessness, despite having copious degrees, teaching experience, and 'national teacher credentials', years later I was just about to be hired by a RC school here in 'burque (the school staff loved me-ooh...) right up until THE INTERVIEW with the Parish priest who ponitifically asked my if I was married in the Church? When I answered, No Father, I was married on our flat rooftop by the Head Tribal Medicine woman of a local Pueblo [note to self: NEVER REVEAL things like this in a job interview] . He looked askance at me over his thick reading glasses and BOOM SHAKAH...I was promptly INSPECTED-rejected-&-EXPECTO-RATED (Hear that, ACLU?)...

So do I want to be NOW married by the Church in a Large Group Wedding Ceremony??
ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NO !! Oh and... Forgive me, Father, it has been about thirty years since my last confession...Ah...I have used the word FUCK about a million and a half times...Said GODDAMNIT CARTMAN, five thousand and twenty two times...And also...oh once or twice, I have used the internet to ah, look at, ah 'naked stuff'...

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Friday, October 28, 2005
Leakin' on the White House lawn
Seen yesterday on a sad pair of crutches (a touch of the angry-toed Gout?), Vice Presidential Chief of Staff Infections Lewis "Moto Scooter" Libby is today INDICTED on five counts. The case to now has been hidden in super double secret underclothing but moments ago was totally laid out clearly on international television channels by Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald to all lookers. The Old Moto-Scooter has resigned his orifice.

A bad day yesterday for DUH PRES; ditto today.... wha-da-ya-gonna-do? Duh Pres calls for a ROADTRIP!!! He's off to South America next week. can run, but you can't hide. Run Lola Run. Go W man and take Mr.Mr. Cheneyhead with you.

In even more ASTOUNDING SNEWZ: Star Trek's MR.HIKARU SULU announces that YES, he is GAY. Go, George Takei.

In even less ASTOUNDING SNEWZ: There's a new storm a-brewin' named BETA. Is that Ms. Beta or Master Beta? More hyperboles for our Freshchaos List of Hyperboles in this final two months and three days of 2005... March on with Freedom Ringing... FYI: 3 more days of official Hurricane Season.

A passing Thought for the Moment-:::-Is one death too many for an UNJUSTIFIED WAR?

A Second passing Thought for the Moment-:::-Is Halloween like Christmas for child molesters?

He won't be back until Monday, but after two full live-on-the-air-weeks for a total of 8 shows, Stephen Colbert is riding high on a brilliant start to his 'new solo season'. Following the Daily Show for four nights a week on Comedy Central, you just can't leave your tv set for an hour Mon-Thurs. Ok, if you are still a DUH PRES loyal fan, I guess you can. What a time to be alive for all of us left-winged liberal commie pinkos who have found the situation in our country so awful that all one can do is to laugh or BE B-U-S-H-E-D.

First THE EVIL HURRICANES slammed the poor minorities of the swamplands, now THE EVIL HURRICANES are slamming the poor elderly nestled in elevator-less South Florida highrises. Bastardos! Next THE EVIL HURRICANES will slam the poor Nick-O-Rag-You-Ans, but no one cares. Still, relatively little aid to the 79,000,000,000,000,000 earthquaked folks in Pakky-Stan-Ville and few seem to care as long as gas prices are high. By all counts our 2000 FREEDOM FIGHTERS now stone cold dead for no good reason may not seem like such a horrendous thing in the world-wide scope of 'disastrous events', but they are AMERICAN freedomites. And this is one disastrous EVENT which was entirely AVOIDABLE. They are our boys and girls. Bring what's left of them home and God Bless Us ALL.

...Man, Woman, or Minority? Here's a WHOLE WEBPAGE of GAPING TRENT LOTT QUOTES... You know Trent is glad to see the recent HEAT be taken off his back and onto Moto Scooter's... GO SCOOTER... SCOOT SCOOT... GO SCOOTER... SCOOT SCOOT... GO SCOOTER... SCOOT SCOOT!!!

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Thursday, October 27, 2005
Ooh Baby, Harriet plunges dagger into DUH PRES and we get DSL all in one day...There is a god.

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__DUH PRES WITHDRAWS FROM MIERS [ All this time, I thought only Roman Catholics practiced safe sex that way.]
__Chisox Win First World Series Since 1917 [Wow...]
__Floridians Line Up Again for Food, Gas [JEB 'takes full responsibility'-don't we all?- making him an insta-candidate for DUH PRES replacement.]
__DUH PRES Abandons Push for Miers Nomination [She once called DUH PRES 'the most brilliant man I ever met'...hmm.]
__CAMILLA, Duchess of Cornhole, wears a TIARA crown on her big fat head out in the publix eye...[No additional comment]
__NOT news...Janet Jackson is NOT pregnant...Tab Hunter is NOT in the closet...CHARGES still NOT filed against Uncle Karl and crew.
__Duh Pres approval rating among Blacks at 2%, listing him below the par of Jefferson Davis...ouch.]
__Lack of BARBIE sales brings down Mattel stock [Wo-mens' Lib in the new millennium?...How are sales for the American Girl dollie?]
__Hartzer caught red-handed...Yes, it's true this morning my partner in life discovered that I was filling up the family water bottles with unfiltered drinking water straight from the tap, thus relying on our High Desert City's water management system rather than our own cheapo PUR filter that peters out water from the faucet in a trickle of time that extends beyond the Stargate into other dimensions before even one water bottle gets filled. This morning in my utterly shamed amazement at my own humanity or lack thereof, I felt for a nano-second a bit (a teensy bit) of compassion for Uncle Karl and Mr.Mr. Cheneyhead. I'm even warming up to Aunt Harriet (and Uncle Ozzie). Oops, I did it again...liar liar pants on fire.

__Getting to be so cold, it's a Three Dog Night

I won't ever leave, you want me to stay
Nothing you can do, that could turn me away
Hanging on anyway
Believing the things you say, being a fool
You've taken my life, so take my soul
That's what you said and I believe it all
I want to be with you
as long as you want me to
So don't move away
Ain't that what you said?
Liar, Liar, Liar

We may see no light
We have see no day
I may be leaving, but you want me to stay
You can believe in me
I won't be leaving, I won't let you go
Ain't that what you said?
Liar, Liar, Liar

You've taken my life, so take my soul
That's what you said but who are we to know
I want to be with you
as long as you want me to
So don't move away
Ain't that what you said?
Liar, Liar, Liar

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 proudly announces the STUPIDEST album release of this so called Year of the Rooster,'s Fiona Apple's latest release entitled, the Extraordinarily Fucked Up Machine . Avoid this cd/vinyl/DAT/HDCD at all costs. Any cost is too much.

Hey nice job taking a leak on the WHITE HOUSE LAWN Mr.Mr. DICK Cheneyhead. Is the right wing crumbling? Is cheese available in the Vatican? I just don't know but rumors have it that DUH PRES was seen staying up past ten o'clock and wandering the halls naked as a Texas scrub jay.

Speakin' Texin'...Things just can't get off the ground for HOUSTON either even in 14 innings...Another HYPERBOLE-long game to add to the list of this year's HISTORIC HYPERBOLES. What is that GROWTH on Ezequiel Astacio's face??? If you get paid enough to be pitching base-ah-ball at the World series level of things, can't you afford to get a bit of plastic surgery? Just ask SEAL...

GOOD NEWS...while over 2000 USA freedom fighters have died uselessly in Iraq with more cold bodies coming by the day, hour, minute, NUCLEAR BUNKER-BUSTERS have been dropped from the Gigantic Industrial Sized USA Military budget. That's one more crumbling piece of the fantastically surreal life we are all living in the currently more and more B-U-S-H-E-D Fast Lane to Hell.

JUSTin:Our man of constant sorrow and chaos wants to be your President...

First I withdraw troops from Iraq, next I build a gas line from there to here and give it all away...Then, I get serious.

Harvey S. Guggenheim, a Special Agent on our General Staff just renewed:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY wishes go out to Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton born 1947 and still alive today...

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Feeling B-U-S-H-E-D yet?
Well, WhooHoo, we've crossed the next threshold with U.S. Military Deaths Now Reaching 2,000 in Iraq!

Hey folks, DUH PRES is sorry for your loss but to honor the dead, he naturally wants to complete the mission which apparently is not yet a mission accomplished.

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Monday, October 24, 2005
In today's snewz: 
__Rosa Parks passes
__Wilma Kills 6 in Fla.; 6M Without Power [Yada yada only six dead...shingles loosened. Mexican Yucatan demolished but who cares aboiut that? A newz snewz.]
__Journalists' Hotel in Baghdad Attacked [Huge balls of fire...smk=oke more killed...Iraq War II goes on and on and on.]
__Bernanke to Succeed Greenspan As Fed Chief [WALL STREET SOARS on this snewz. What a weird time for DUH PRES to make his announcement.]
__Bush Won't Release All Miers Records [Miers has RECORDS?]
__ACLU Reports 21 Homicides in U.S. Custody[ACLU should just give it up; we're all screwed these days and if you are a person or animal of color fo-get-a-bout-it.]
__JUSTin from a concerned citizen and reader:This is upsetting but I thought I should pass it along. Check your drivers license. Now you can see anyone's Driver's License on the Internet, including your own! I just searched for mine and there it was... picture and all!! Thanks Homeland Security! Where are our rights? I definitely removed mine. I suggest you do the same... Go to the web site and check it out. Just enter your name, city and state to see if yours is on file. After your license comes on the screen, click the box marked "Please Remove". This will remove it from public viewing, but not from law enforcement. [ Get crackin'...Demand satisfaction and safety.License Screen ]

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Saturday, October 22, 2005
More Hyperboles...
And another all time record is broken: Tropical Storm Alpha has formed...Why can't they call this 25th tropical depression Xena Warrior Princess or something? It's all Greek to me...yeah, yeah. This Rooster Year's Hurricane Season has nine more daze to go!

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Latest WILMA snewz: National Hurricane Center

To watch a hurricane sit down its large ass right on a place where you had one of the best times of your life is personally sad. Many expressed their love and of their 'great times' had in New Orleans...Also to watch the whole of our nation bracing for yet another storm is sad. And to see that most of us are breathing easier with Wilma dilly dallying in that 'far away land' of Mexico meaning less danger to Floreedah, is a bit narcissitic though perfectly natural. Today we are feeling pain for the Island of Cozumel, Mexico.

Cancun is a tourist mecca beyond compare, but the Island of Cozumel is a place sacred to many Indigenous peoples and has truly the most gorgeous waters that I have ever snorkled through. It is a poor island other than the tourist trade both from cruise ships and hotel visitors. Most of the center of the island is jungle and the total height of the island above sea level is, as Jon Stewart might say, NOT SO MUCH.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the people of Cozumel today. They were kind to us last May during our delightful stay at the Coral Princess Hotel. Fortunately, this hotel and the cruise line docks are on the leeward side of the island but who knows really if that matters much with many hours of 140 mph winds and sheets of rain blasting the land and seascapes.

Here's a photograph of One Half of the Freshchaos Crew taken from our second floor room May 2005. There is a living reef and the clearest water in the world just a leap away...Seems like it wouldn't take much to leap this whole hotel straight into oblivion. Here's to the Coral Princess and many happy returns.

Debra Landau Cozumel
Coral Princess Deb

In other news, last night while surfing through the myriad of gloriously time-wasting tv channels (besides CNN/The Weather Ch.!), a movie popped up that was surprisingly good...Based on a work of 'fiction' by John Irving (no bears in this one), the movie starred Jeff Bridges and Kim Basinger and is entitled, The Door in the Floor. Jeff Bridges has been in so many movies that are emotionally gripping and yet 'mainstream popular'...NOT SO MUCH. This is one. And Ms. Bassinger is truly in high form as well. Will be looking now for the dvd and 'the book' possibly. Catch it, if you can.

Another dry movie of murder and mahem currently circuiting HBLOW channels is ELEPHANT...Two high schoolers calmly kill a LOT of their classmates and teachers without the slightest feeling one way or the other about their deeds. Is the world coming to this point in our NO CHILD LEFT UNSCATHED educational programs???...Coming to it??? We are sooo past BEING THERE. Hey now, that was a great Peter Sellers' move-eye...
>>>Coming soon to a theater near you ...HARRIET MIERS UNLEASHED... just in time for All Hallow's Eve and the Day of the Dead.

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Friday, October 21, 2005
What a World!
The latest of many U.S. Military GAPES has been apparently caught on video tape: BURNING TALIBAN BODIES for a taste of good old boy BBQ...This news in today's media comes to our Freshchaos HQ, after watching the incredible PBS' FRONTLINE show this week on TORTURE... It is no wonder the NEOCOMMIES want to rid us of the great and wonderful PBS.

If BUSH is the DUH PRES, I am convinced after viewing this Frontline Special, that RUMMIE is SATAN. And we wonder why we have yet another Hurricane on the way to our shores?

The Frontline show was fantastically D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-N-G and plain out embarrassing. So much cover up at Gitmo and at Abu Ghrabass. And now the soldiers are apparently so frustrated, scared, young, and stupid that they are doing the deeds in the very houses and buildings of the Iraqis where there are no cameras. Why wait for prison when you can KICK ASS with SHOCK & AWE in the privacy of the peoples' homes that we are so kindly bringing DEMOCRACY to...HOW IS THIS SO DIFFERENT THAN THE DAYS OF LT. CALLIE?

THE not-so-glorious MARCH of INSANITY is 'worser than ever' just not as visible to PBS cameras in the HERE and NOW...And this IRAQ WAR II may go on for another 5-10 years sez Condo-Leeza who also yesterday upped the terror ante with Syria. Even the leader of Venezula is amping up his troops, as he fears we will come bring our not-so-glorious MARCH of INSANITY there soon. IS THIS THE KIND OF AMERICA WE WANT TO BE??? We are so losing the war on TERROR. And when someone takes our own soldiers prisoner now, they will let go the Geneva Convention rules just as we have so easily done with DUH PRES and Satan et al at our helm.

When Bill O'Reilly calls you a PINHEAD, how do you maintain your cool??...Just ask Jon Stewart who handled his interview with the 'O dude' with aplumb. Speaking of dumbasses, visit FREE THE HOPS to learn how MORE BEER would increase tourism for the state of Alabama. [Actually I just went to this site and the refernce to it on the Daily Show by a beer enthusiast from Alabama was possibly may have to dig to find the reference...good beer info!]

This week the insane South Park is off to a new season of fresh chaos with an episode called, Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow...In this episode much fun is poked at Global Warming, New Orleans' flood response, and a variety of other very current world it's just plain funny. I was a late comer to the chaos of South Park....Am now a pretty indebted fan.

Something NEW to WORRY ABOUT: CJD, a brain wasting disease that normally kills one in a million has recently killed 9 in Idaho. One more reason to avoid Idaho. Google it don't catch it.

It's come down to this: ASTROLOGERS versus the clean WHITEY SOX...who's it gonna be...?

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Thursday, October 20, 2005
Tom Delay mugshot
Tom DeLay Mugs for Sheriff

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__Hurricane Wilma for a few hours became the most intense Atlantic storm e-v-e-r then she pulled a Flintstone and became a calmer housewife to that bastard Fred. I feel for the Island of Cozumel which is currently due for a direct hit. Snorkeling in Cozumel last May was one of my life's finest pleasures to date. Hope the island, its people, and its many reef fish survive the horrors of Wilma.
__Congress Cuts Viagra Funding...'bout time but in fact, assuming DUH PRES signs it into law, this bill doesn't go into effect until Jan. 2007 so you Medicare folks in need of Morning/all day Wood, get your scrips turned in now.
__Winnebago stock crashes...Didn't take a psychic to foresee this one coming. Get them gas guzzling slow moving motorhomes off them hiways Guv-nor.
__Senator Sarbanes Crunches Condoleeza...Sen. Paul Sarbanes, a Maryland Democrat, grilled the cheese off Condo-Leesa Rice Puddinghead yesterday with his question about the apparent end-less-ness of the current Iraq War II. Condo-Leesa did not dispute his inferences that the war may last another FIVE toTEN YEARS.
__ASTROS go to the MOON...The World Series is down to the FINAL TWO...those blindingly WHITE SOX and them Texan ASTRONOMICALS...Go Chi Town and Houston, we may have a problem winning this one.
__Quakes Rock Japan...Not enough CHAOS for you yet?...Northeastern Japan was rocked by a 6.5 quake yesterday just 70 miles northeast of Tokyo. Godzilla however was not unleashed by the tremblors...Well, that's good news.
__79,000 is the current tally of ungratefully dead in Pakistani regions following their devastating earthquake and aftershocks from same.
__Teflon Tom will get his fingers dirtied today as he is fingerprinted and charged with dirty undies left exposed in just one of his oh so clean hampers. Tommy De has stepped down as House majority leader in the wake of his pending felony charges.
__82 year old ABQ. Grannie asked to join USMC:...An Albuquerque grandmother, Sally-Alice Thompson, received a letter from the United States Marine Corps this week asking her to join up. Now that's just sad. Ironically, she is a well known peace activist and is a local member of a group called the RAGING GRANNIES. Rage on and Semper Fi, Super Gran.
__"L" is for L-O-S-E-R...O.K. so non of us is 340 million dollars richer today, except for a mystery person in the state of Oregon who is undoubtedly a long-haired-pot-smoking-liberal-left-wing-hippie-commie-pinko living in a cabin by the green ocean shores somewhere North of Eugene. Damn that liberal bastian state of the Pacific Northwest. Now it's on to figuring out how much of a dent I can make in this month's Visa bill without those 340 greenbacks in hand.

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Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Drum roll please...Dudes and dudesses, ladies and gents, the Winning Power Ball Numbers for Wednesday, October 19th, 2005 are :
. That makes ball # 29 the most powerful ball of all. Go balls!! Are you the lucky weiner of 340 million dollares? The magic multiplier is 5 if you know what the heck that is ; yes, you got five of them multiplying by the minute. Go balls... go powerfully into this night of hyperboles and good fortune for hurricanes.

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YEAR of the ROOSTER or YEAR of the HYPERBOLE!??!

Most damage e-v-e-r/Most hurricanes e-v-e-r/Most money in lottery pool e-v-e-r/Most crooked White House e-v-e-r/Most nudity on the tube e-v-e-r/Most global warming e-v-e-r/Most broke airlines e-v-e-r/Most distance between rich and poor e-v-e-r/Most unemployed e-v-e-r/Most refugees e-v-e-r/Most earthquakes e-v-e-r/Most tsunamis e-v-e-r/Most dead Iraqis e-v-e-r/Most dead female soldiers e-v-e-r/Most forest fires e-v-e-r/Most mudslides e-v-e-r/Most iPodders e-v-e-r/Most sexual assaults e-v-e-r/Most bloggers e-v-e-r/Most DSL users e-v-e-r/Most Dilay Show watchers e-v-e-r//Most protestors in Crawford e-v-e-r//Most US National indebtedness e-v-e-r/Most endangered forests e-v-e-r/...ahh...that's enough HYPERBOLE for ME.

Just when you thought it safe to hold elections... there is a misleading number of YES votes. Did the B-U-S-H-E-D machine get inthere agin on those Iraqi voting booths? Do they even have voting booths? Will we ever know the truth? Do we want to? And today old man Gloom Sadd Mann Saddam goes to trial. How's that a gonna go? He says...HE AIN'T GUILTY!!

Just when you thought it safe to go to the beach... Hurricane Wilma rears her head with TWELVE MORE DAYS left of the Hurricane Season from Hell (that's the globally warmed over hell; the hell we have created on our own here on planet earth).

Just when you thought it safe to bet again... Tonight someone like ME is going to be taking home 340 plus Million Dollars. I got my ticket...Do you have yours?? The biggest lottery jackpot e-v-e-r will be dipped into tonight and I am feeling LUCKY. Hmmm...what could I do with 340 million USD's?

THE COLBERT REPORT (pronmounced "ra-poor" in a slight of hand to the French/Canadians) is off to a high and mighty start (M-Thurs. following the Daily Show nightly on The Comedy Channel)...I once thought Stephen Colbert should have run for President. I still do. Truly here's a genius at work and I hope his genius is not lost on the masses. If comedy can be INTENSE then he is an intrensely funny genius at comedy. SLASHY, FLASHY, and SASSY describes for me the first two nights. With a desk shaped into a C, with many self deprecatory pokes of fun at himself, with a daily WORD ('truthiness' on day one), and a nightly guest, it is like the Daily Show expanded into a full hour.

Several shows have failed in their followup to the Daily Show's half hour of intense brilliance...Frankly it is hard to follow a comet or shooting star...Colin Quinn lost to the Daily Show's nightsky streak of light...The Colbert Report if it can hold together and not burn itself out, may be a huge followup tot the most watched cable tv show e-v-e-r (The Daily Show). More hyperbole...eeegadzooks.

Astounding News: [why so astounding?cuz it's all about ME...] After being one of the last beings on earth to buy a cd player; astoundingly slow to leave FREETV behind and opt for Satellite service; enormously behind on buying a DVD player; seriously and wastedly behind on cell phone purchasing (as well as shocked to learn that each text massage I send out cost me an extra EIGHT CENTS!); some may find this hard to believe but all of our ventures at FRESHCHAOS HQ into cyberspace have been heretofore made using a d-i-a-l-u-p m-o-d-e-m. This is soon to change. Yes, we are entering the DSL mode of cyberspacial transportation soon...pass it on.

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Monday, October 17, 2005
Freshchaos Web Surfing of the Moment:
__Download KRAZY Tom Cruise Summer of '05 video clips. And you thought Hurricane Katrina was bad ... Also, great video satire clips! Check it out: ScienTomogy dot com.
__Great quotes and links to interviews The Cruiser inflicted on other countries...Click now or don't: Tom Cruise Nuts dot com.
__Submit your best "educated" guess about the when and where of the Second Coming and win 1 million dollars! (Wonder how much that will be worth after adjusting for post-Rapture inflation?)...This site also features "Ask the Jesus 8-Ball" and a place to vote for what Jesus will look like, which includes possibilities uncannily like that of Brad Pitt and Dave Chappelle.Click it now: Where in the World is Jesus dot com.
__The Roman Catholic Church has a new website extolling the wondrous stories told by current priests about "what they find most rewarding about being a priest". Should you find yourself feeling inclined to join up at the seminary, click: To BE or NOT Be a Priest.
__Miss Gulch: No, her dog . Henry: Oh, she bit her dog , eh?...Sad but true:Our state's leading ANTI-DOG LAW writer, Bob Schwartz, was severely bitten by his own dogs over the weekend.
__Former "Saturday Night Live" comedian Charles Rocket has killed himself .

Happy Sukkot...Happy Full Moon Monday...Happy Lunar Eclipse...!!!

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Sunday, October 16, 2005
Elections by Gunpoint seem to have gone without major incident in Iraq yesterday. Go Democracy...Bring our boys and girls home soon. Ya hear?! By the way, Condo-leesa sez that criticism of Miers is "unfounded"; we say DUH PRES' choice of Miers is "unfounded". And how is that CIA leak thingee going for old Uncle Karl Moon Rove-r?

Cayman Islands Braces for Tropical Storm>>>...The National Hurricane Center in Miami reports that a tropical storm is headed for the Cayman Islands. It could become Tropical Storm Wilma, making it the 21st named storm of the season, tying the record set 154 years ago (1933)...Long-term forecasts show the storm will enter the Gulf of Mexico later this week. Conditions are favorable for it to become a significant hurricane.

Happy Full Moon Lunar Eclipse>>>...Rising on10/17 in 'Fiery Aries' which Cynthia Hess, our favorite astrologer says means a HIGH ENERGY WEEK ahead with DRASTIC CHANGE yet with a "confident nature, setting advancement in motion and making everything click". Basically dudes and dudesses, Autumn is a bloomin' into full Harvest Season, so whatever it is you've been growing, you may soon harvest it ... albeit good, bad, happy, or sad.

In local ABQ news>>>...Hosted by Jeff Hartzer, the AirDance ArtSpace offers its 8th Poet's Night Out event this Saturday evening, October 22nd at 7:30 p.m. with featured poet Tom Harter and an Open Mike for spoken word and music... $5.00 at the door. The AirDance ArtSpace is located at 3030 Isleta Blvd. S.W. (3 blocks North of Rio Bravo off I-25) The AirDance ArtSpace is available for your event. Call 505-877-5001.
Also mark your calendars for these future Poet's Nights Out...Saturday, November 19th to feature Larry Goodell and friends and in the new year... Saturday, January 21st, 2006 to feature Lisa Gill and Jazz. Ooh Baby it's a Poe-a-tree Happenin' kind of thingee.

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Saturday, October 15, 2005
Happy Election Day you Democracy craving citizens of Iraq!!

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Thursday, October 13, 2005
I have been timed out and B-U-S-H-E-D this week what with earrthQuacks and floods and rain and ahhh the feeling that all is not right with the world...And then, Poetry came into my email box that just might get me moving again...Go-poe-a tree.

Marvelous Marvell...

But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near:
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.

Andrew Marvell: "To His Coy Mistress"

And one from The Dick van Dyke show or a Pink Floyd replay:
Time is
Too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love,
Time is eternity.

Henry Van Dyke: Read at the funeral of Princess Di

I slowly take t-i-m-e to ask myself while watching ABC's Nightly News, how in the freakin' world does Elizabeth Vargas smile so much and how can her smile even fit onto the tv screen? Hey, how 'bout them Smurfs???BLOW UP SMURFS for fun and profit.

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Monday, October 10, 2005
Catch the October POET'S CORNER by Capn Chaos (aka: Jeff Hartzer) entitled Chile Winds.

And for a peek at Pumpkins homegrown in the High Desert click: The Pumpkin Patch.

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Just in; our readers write:
__RE: Tom DeLay: "Guess what, they're trying their best to forget about his moral values, or change the subject. Even the fascistic freak, Ann Coulter, was all tongue-tied defending him the other night. When it gets harder for folks like her to defend such a rotten bunch, then you know it's BAD."

One of our Albuquerque readers was actually THERE for the March on Washington in September...Our hats are off to our friend for taking the time to go cross country and dress up in a Devil Costume to join the famous BUSH CHENEY PUPPETS (whom he met when at the Protests in CRAWFORD earlier this summer (this guy is a Travelin' Man true patriot! He writes: "The big September 24th march in D.C. was awesome...The Bush Cheney Devil puppet show was a smash hit.  Voted 'Best of Show' by dozens of passersby after it was over, and everyone was sucking in Tularemia bacteria [see below] There were up to 300,00 people all around us during the march itself.  Over the top adrenalated madness.  We even cracked some DC cops up, and Harry Bellafonte too! Thousands of photos taken of us but we ain't got none!  Check this one out...See the tiny bit of red?  That's me in my DEVIL COSTUME. "

Zim Emig, Bush Cheney puppets
The Devil in me

__[from The New York Times on Sept. 21] --> "A Cold War bug has become a hot topic for scientists who are trying to understand how an obscure germ that causes a harmless infection in rabbits can kill people when sprayed into the air."
__[ from The Washington Post] --> "A week after the massive anti-war demonstrations in Washington, it has been revealed that biohazard sensors detected the dangerous tularemia bacteria over the crowds.Tularemia was first described as a plaguelike disease of rodents in 1911 and, shortly thereafter, was recognized as a potentially severe and fatal illness in humans. Health authorities in the Washington area were notified yesterday that the bacteria were found in and near the area between the U.S. Capitol and the Lincoln Memorial, where crowds gathered Saturday for an antiwar rally and a book festival.Health officials said the usual incubation period for tularemia is less than a week...Authorities recommend that people who visited the Mall between 10 a.m. Sept. 24 and 10 a.m. Sept. 25 should see a physician if they experience symptoms...George W. Bush and his handlers were huddled in the Northcom bunkers in Colorado on the night before and day of the massive protests outside the White House. The Sept. 24 protest was the largest anti-war action by Americans since the Vietnam War. "

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'Worst Disaster In Pakistan's History': Officials in Pakistan are saying that as many as 30,000 people are dead after a massive earthquake rattled parts of Pakistan, India and Afghanistan. How do you even begin to compare that to our recent double-dose hurricane disasters ... worst disasters for USA ever ... resulting in deaths of under two thousand people?

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Sunday, October 09, 2005
18,000 dead in Pakistani quakes with tremblors a rockin' in Cal-ee-forn-I-A...who sez the world is coming to en end? Great SNL skit with Frist and DeLay driving a car Thelma and Louise style when they pick up a hitchhiker, Bill Clinton. The whole point was how screwed up we are with S-E-X scandals over any other scandal. Warming up to the new guy who does Weekend Upset in place of Tina Fey...Horatio Sanz looks just like our state's Governor, Bill Richardson, by the way.

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Thursday, October 06, 2005
__The Tammy Faye Baker Instant Tropical Depression sweeps through North Floreedah..where'd Tammy come from anyway...spun up into a storm at the Daytona 500 racetrack? And what happened to the tropical depression with a capital S?
__Move along now; there are 24 more days of the HURRICANE SEASON; Tammy Faye came and went and is already Olde Newse.
__Montana,Wyoming, and the Dodge Dakotas are currently SNOWED UNDER and its barely Autumn.
__A six year drought in Utah is apparently o-v-a-h; thank the Powers.
__So who's going to the World Series? Base-a-ball has been very good to me...
__Want to win $100,000...who doesn't? Well, send in your ideas for HOW TO FIX OUR COUNTRY in 175 words or less and BE a weiner!! For more info, check: Since Sliced Bread dot com. No foolin'.
__HAPPY NEW JEW YEAR to all...This week of course is the High Holiday Season of Rosh Hashanah. So Happy Days to us all. You Christ-ee-ins too. I love the way Mick and the Stones sing the word Christ-i-ans in SWEET NEOCON; fact is, I LOVE the whole song and their whole new cd except for the very last track featuring KEITH on vocals (spare us all, Keith,dude).

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Wednesday, October 05, 2005
A Good Day for White Guys
This morning's high desert blue blue skies were filled with streams of hot air balloons captained by white guys floating north to south over our house today. And headlines blared about the successes of the same majority: (1_) MAYOR MARTY wins, (2_) our District 3 fearless-leader-Black-American-Wo-man Diana Dorn Jones beaten to a shred by a white guy who may or may not live in our poor old neighborhood, and (3_) the MINIMUM WAGE hike proposition is torn to tornadic rubble by the masses (voter turn out not exactly mass-ive!)...and (3 and a half_) all the zillion dollar 'big biz' packages passed (well ok, one was for new books/cd's/dvd's at the library and one for a zoo/aquarium improvement).

So it's another round of Good for You's, Albuquerque. We are not The City Different and down the road may in fact begin to look and dry out/spread out like good old 'rise from the ashes of fate', Phoenix, Az. Go Albuquerque.

In other news: _the State of New Mexico claims that aspartame causes cancer despite what the USFDA says. Interesting. More diet drinks to 'give up' in that mad rush to health and happiness...
_Why do most of the NFL teams sport FUTBOL AMERICANO in a green circular patch upon their helmets? Is this one more way to strike down the game of soccer or just a NFL-NAFTA approach to Mexican sport? I have noticed Mexicans in our land prefer Budweiser or Bud Lite as their drink of choice. Go A-m-e-r-i-c-a-n beer. TAY KAH TAY is also good.

I have heard the advertisement jingle about WHAT IF THE AIR WAS CLEAN AGAIN? enough to now no longer care about the quality of our air. Take that TOY-O-TA...GET a life. Besides if I gulp down enough CLEAR AMERICAN bubbly WAL*FART soda with aspartame, I won't have to worry about the AIR. Hey, NEIL YOUNG drives a HUMMER...true but it runs on corn oil...Take that TOY-O-TA...& GET a life.

In other astonishing teevee observations...have you seen the heterosexual couple kissing each other with a shiny chain link fence between them? It's thrilling. Can you guess the product placement? It's an add for Trojan condoms...Speaking of condoms, I'll never forget when I was growing up on another planet in North Florida and I asked my WWII War Hero Father what is that thing floating in the St. John's River (even at eleven, I knew it to be a swolen condom; and, by the way, the Jacksonville, Florida sewer systems no longer empty into the river!)...anyway my father tells me this: It's a urine sampler, son.

That was my first and last question to dear old dad about s-e-x. Teevee World changes by the second these daze. Although condoms seemed to be taboo until now for teevee, TAMPONS and MIDOL like substances appeared in our living rooms long ago. I could be wrong, but it seems the male species (and a majority of white guy teevee e-x-c-u-t-i-v-es) seem more trepidatious about displaying their own toiletry products than does the female population. Then again, we have invented VIAGRA while inventions especially for the wo-man of the house, not so much.

So Shine On You Crazy WHITE GUYS.

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Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Without delay here's Today's Fresh Chaos Po-Po-Ri:Though without judicial experience and with an unknown 'legal philosophy', and a DUH PRES loyalist, Harriet Miers seems like an alien from the state of Kansas. Uncle Tom DEELay indicted agin'. You gotta be for him or agin' him. I be agin' him. Skin him in fact. In sad but true snewz...mucho damage-o has been struck in the orient by TYPHOON LONG WANG. No comment.

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Monday, October 03, 2005
IT CAME FROM KANSAS, no just kidding; actually, IT CRASHED IN KANSAS!!...
Veteran balloonistRichard Abruzzo, crashed in the State of Oz yesterday. Sadly/ironically just this week, a dream came true for the Abruzzo Family when the long dreamed of Albuquerque International Balloon Museum opened its doors. Two days later one of their own went down in the Gordon Bennett international gas balloon race in the state of milo and corn.

If you missed it, you missed a good one: Saturday Night Live's season opener took hits at Hurricane K and R, jetBlue #292, KANSAS (the corn belt is now the crystal meth belt), the White House (DUH), and other tasty treats. Sorry that writer/actor, Tina Fey, will not be appearing in 'Weekend Update'; otherwise, happy season of the Rooster and peacock.

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Twas a sad weekend here in the high desert for all citizenry who watched the New Mexico LOBOTOMIES lose to a team called THE FROGS. No wait! Actually they are called THE HORNED FROGS (Texas Christian University). How can you lose to the FROGS? A local newspaper man equated the problem to aliens hovering over the field extricating the REAL Lobos.

A Wild Things SCREAM of Happy Birthday goes out to Ms. Neve Campbell today who hit the planet in 1973. In other more important headlines:
_High Court Nominee Has Never Been a Judge
_Cause Sought in Deadly N.Y. Boat Accident
_Photos of Heads Used to ID Bali Bombers
_Russian Spacecraft Docks at Space Station
_Australians Win Nobel Prize in Medicine
_Manufacturing Sector Expands in September

Another blow to the Bali Chamber of Commerce. Bali-High Blows again. More sadness crosses over the planet from Al Cicadas. The powerful rise and the powerless feel the pain. The season's 19th Tropical Depression drifts northwest out in the Atlantic. A volcano erupts in Palo Campana, El Slavador sending ashes 50 thousand feet upwards. And in really important newz: "AMERICAN IDOL WINNER ILLITERATE"... no really, that's what the headline sez about FANTASIA BARRINO. If illiterate it might be child abuse to have named her FANTASIA. Her path to success includes being preggers at 17 and dropping out of school.

Imagine an illiterate DUH PRES running our country. Why bother with degrees of success anymore? My TEACHERLY degrees and years of courses for certification to teach in SPED/GEN ED populations in both the public and private sectors brought me poverty-level salaries along with the pure JOY of helping our youth, but without any 'recognition for greatness' as evidenced by Fantasia or DUH PRES.

Tomorrow our town will most likely re-elect MAYOR MARTIN CHAZEZ who has the catchy website with a Mickey Mouse domain name of MAYOR MARTY dot com.

FRESHCHAOS HQ lies in the poorest and largest District of our Fair city. Our District elected Eric Griego who was supposed to bring us sidewalks, reduce crime, and so on and so forth but has done little for our District except to use it as a stepping stone to NOW run against MAYOR MARTY in a martini lunch bashing campaign style. There is a councilor running for his seat in District 3 who lives down the street from us named Diana Dorn Jones.

Ms. Jones is a highly intelligent and heartfelt African American woman who has done a lot for our poor area that lies very near the WHITE HOT and hotly developing downtown area of Albuquerque. Her opponent is embraced by many favoring such development and last week set up a very interesting website for the campaign called DIANA LIES dot com. Most folks in our district (OK a major number, if not most) don't surf the web in my estimation, but handing out DIANALIES.COM fliers across the neighborhood gives credence to pure evilness on the surface of it all. She in fact has done more for our District than many, but the rich WHITE DUDE running against her is undoubtedly going to be the winner. Our local paper would not endorse either candidate for our District, which is odd in and of itself. What's BLACK and WHITE and read all over? The Albuquerque Journal.

In today's paper runs a big advertisement for a group widely opposed to our current Mayor.Please vote and remember your ABC's:ANYBODY BUT CHAVEZ. Now that would be a good name for a dweebsite

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So much Chaos,
So little time.

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