Here and Now
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P.O. Box 25892
Albuquerque, New Mexico 87125
"Be tolerant of THE SKIPPER who disagrees with you... The Schipperke has a right to his Ridiculous Opinion."
A New Mexican Schipnic
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
It's here! Just in time for the holidays ... MISS MELLIE'S TOP TEN STEPS TO TOTAL BITCHDOM! Everything you need to know to ensure everything is just right for you to get all you deserve. If you're a bitch, that means EVERYTHING!
1. Enjoy yourself. Eat, drink, hunt, chew, bark, run, and sleep with gusto. (Stop here if you do not know how to sleep with gusto; you are not ready for Total Bitchdom.)
2. Demand first rights to treats, entry, exit, cuddles, and sleeping arrangements.
3. Stake out your territory in every locale and patrol the borders relentlessly. (No one ever said being a bitch was easy!)
4. Speak your mind. A good show of teeth is a trademark of the Total Bitch and can drive the point home for fools who think size matters.
5. Teach others about your status. Some can't see the brilliance of the Total Bitch without direction. Repetition is key for the dimmer ones - usually males.
6. Manipulate your servants with cuteness. Occasionally, be adorable without any catches. The Total Bitch is not without her charms.
7. Kill your prey efficiently. (Don't be a cat about it!) Embrace the compassion of the ruthless act.
8. Make it known that eating food that has fallen on the floor is beneath you - unless no one is watching.
9. Educate by example. Wrest toys and such from others and demonstrate the proper use of the amusement. Let them practice whenever you are no longer amused.
10. Strive to be an undeniable source of warmth and lovability, as it is your duty to shine on all who reside in the glorious light of your Bitchdom!
The Total Bitch embraces the holiday season!
Thursday, November 18, 2004
AIR JORDAN has succeeded in eating the antenna off our new cell phone. Beats Cheweez any day of the week. One wonders what that satellite transmission might have been like ...
Check out the new gallery from the Prince Diabate Dance Party last Saturday night at the AirDance ArtSpace in Albuquerque. And, for those of you POETS in the audience, we also had an inaugural POET'S NIGHT OUT last weekend at the AirDance ArtSpace. It was a hoppin' double header of fun; sure beats watching the local news !
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