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Wednesday, September 29, 2004
This just in: Our readers write:

"I know war as few other men now living know it, and nothing to me is more revolting. I have long advocated its complete abolition, as its very destructiveness to both friend and foe has rendered it useless as a means of settling international disputes."

-- Douglas MacArthur (before a Joint Session of the US Congress, April 19, 1951)

Are you Being Served?
Here's a list of military accomplishments of some folks who are either running these here United States or in the business of talking about doing so...

* Richard Gephardt: Air National Guard, 1965-71.
* David Bonior: Staff Sgt., Air Force 1968-72.
* Tom Daschle: 1st Lt., Air Force SAC 1969-72.
* Al Gore: enlisted Aug. 1969; sent to Vietnam Jan.1971 as an army journalist in 20th Engineer Brigade.
* Bob Kerrey: Lt. j.g. Navy 1966-69; Medal of Honor, Vietnam.
* Daniel Inouye: Army 1943-'47; Medal of Honor, WWII.
* John Kerry: Lt., Navy 1966-70; Silver Star, Bronze Star with Combat V, Purple Hearts.
* John Edwards: did not serve.
* Charles Rangel: Staff Sgt., Army 1948-52; Bronze Star, Korea
* Max Cleland: Captain, Army 1965-68; Silver Star & Bronze Star, Vietnam.
* Ted Kennedy: Army, 1951-1953.
* Tom Harkin: Lt., Navy, 1962-67; Naval Reserve, 1968-74.
* Jack Reed: Army Ranger, 1971-1979; Captain, Army Reserve 1979-91.
* Fritz Hollings: Army officer in WWII, receiving the Bronze Star and seven campaign ribbons.
* Leonard Boswell: Lt. Col., Army 1956-76; Vietnam, DFCs, Bronze Stars, and Soldier's Medal.
* Pete Peterson: Air Force Captain, POW. Purple Heart, Silver Star and Legion of Merit.
* Mike Thompson: Staff sergeant, 173rd Airborne, Purple Heart.
* Bill McBride: Candidate for Fla. Governor. Marine in Vietnam; Bronze Star with Combat V.
* Gray Davis: Army Captain in Vietnam, Bronze Star.
* Pete Stark: Air Force 1955-57
* Chuck Robb: Vietnam
* Howell Heflin: Silver Star
* George McGovern: Silver Star & DFC during WWII.
* Bill Clinton: Did not serve. Student deferments. Entered draft but received 311.
* Jimmy Carter: Seven years in the Navy.
* Walter Mondale: Army 1951-1953
* John Glenn: WWII and Korea; six DFCs and Air Medal with 18 Clusters.
* Tom Lantos: Served in Hungarian underground in WWII. Saved by Raoul Wallenberg.
* Wesley Clark: U.S. Army, 1966-2000, West Point, Vietnam, Purple Heart, Silver Star. Retired 4-star general.
* John Dingell: WWII vet
* John Conyers: Army 1950-57, Korea

* Dennis Hastert: did not serve.
* Tom Delay: did not serve.
* House Whip Roy Blunt: did not serve.
* Bill Frist: did not serve.
* Rudy Giuliani: did not serve.
* George Pataki: did not serve.
* Mitch McConnell: did not serve.
* Rick Santorum: did not serve.
* Trent Lott: did not serve.
* Dick Cheney: did not serve. Several deferments, the last by marriage.
* John Ashcroft: did not serve. Seven deferments to teach business.
* Jeb Bush: did not serve.
* Karl Rove: did not serve.
* Saxby Chambliss: did not serve. "Bad knee." The man who attacked Max Cleland's patriotism.
* Paul Wolfowitz: did not serve.
* Vin Weber: did not serve.
* Richard Perle: did not serve.
* Douglas Feith: did not serve.
* Eliot Abrams: did not serve.
* Richard Shelby: did not serve.
* Jon Kyl: did not serve.
* Tim Hutchison: did not serve.
* Christopher Cox: did not serve.
* Newt Gingrich: did not serve.
* Don Rumsfeld: served in Navy (1954-57) as aviator and flight instructor.
* George W. Bush: six-year Nat'l Guard commitment (in four years).
* Ronald Reagan: due to poor eyesight, served in a non-combat role making movies.
* Gerald Ford: Navy, WWII
* Phil Gramm: did not serve.
* John McCain: Silver Star, Bronze Star, Legion of Merit, Purple Heart, Distinguished Flying Cross.
* Bob Dole: an honorable veteran in WWII
* Chuck Hagel: two Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star, Vietnam.
* Duke Cunningham: nominated for Medal of Honor, Navy Cross, Silver Stars, Air Medals, Purple Hearts.
* Jeff Sessions: Army Reserves, 1973-1986
* JC Watts: did not serve.
* Lindsey Graham: National Guard lawyer.
* G.H.W. Bush: Pilot in WWII. Shot down by the Japanese.
* Tom Ridge: Bronze Star for Valor in Vietnam.
* Antonin Scalia: did not serve.
* Clarence Thomas: did not serve

* Sean Hannity: did not serve.
* Rush Limbaugh: did not serve (4-F with a 'pilonidal cyst.')
* Bill O'Reilly: did not serve.
* Michael Savage: did not serve.
* George Will: did not serve.
* Chris Matthews: did not serve.
* Paul Gigot: did not serve.
* Bill Bennett: did not serve.
* Pat Buchanan: did not serve.
* Bill Kristol: did not serve.
* Kenneth Starr: did not serve.
* Michael Medved: did not serve.

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Tuesday, September 28, 2004
So have you won a million bucks yet from CASHOUTLOTTOS INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION LOTTERY in Amsterdam??? Thank the gods that that news slipped by my trusty SPAM controls...cuz I won big time!! Hah, outsource that one , George W. Ralph Nader won his 'million bucks' today in this Enchanted Land because our State Supreme Court has reinstated his name to the ballot...Old Ralph is certainly the gooniest candidate to be put on the ballot. And by the way my first ever car was a Chevrolet Vega. It was every bit as scary as Nader's first Corvair. Exploding gas tanks don't hold a candle to aluminum block engines. Unsafe at any speed, my ass. Honk, Scream, Gape...Go Ralph!

Full moon Fever: yes, tonight's full moon may be causing you a bit of a fever or a bit of post-hurricane willies. Expect higher tides and elevated emotions. Our bodies are 60% (give or take) water and that big fat moon pulls a tad on every ounce. Earthquakes a in California, a fairly big 'un shook...and for several days now, Mount St. Helen's has been grumbling. Is this another fine tribute to the "the Year of the Monkey"? When Mt. St. Helens blew its damnedest back when, it was a monkey year.

Hey...this year's hurricane season is just about half over. The 'official' dates for the Atlantic hurricane season go from June 1st to November 30th. A whole half season to go...Go 'Canes!

Zell Miller came through Albuquerque last weekend and we are still on the map. Thanks for not blowing us all up in your rambling gambling man rhetorical spewage, Dude. And it wouldn't have been much of a weekend without football...Despite hurricane madness them Jax Jags are STILL undefeated. 3-0. Way to go, Jags.

Oil at 50 bucks a barrel!! WHOO HOO!! Gotta cut down on those oily salad dressings. Thank the gods for our country's taste for for aggression and short wars that has brought us all us peace, love, and even higher priced oil than when we attacked that oil rich but WMD poor country, Iraq.

The last Military Inscriptions were in 1973...How soon is that Draft going to be cranked up again'? Take a vote in our poll to the left of your computer monitor...Gotta go...

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Friday, September 24, 2004
A death in our (increasingly smaller) family has taken me a bit off my usual on-line-ness this week. As I fumble back onto the computer board keys, I see that the amount of freshchaos to come swirling under our North American bridges is h-u-g-e. Hanging on to one passing log is good old Dan Rather, the Walter Conk-right of this millennium. He's always the first old schooler to don a bullet proof jacket and to report in from where the action is or was by the time he gets there. He's a likeable old codger and it is too bad that he of all people is forced to actually whole-heartedly APOLOGIZE for an ADMITTED wrong. Apologies are rare these days; admitting to wrong-doings UNHEARD of. And, of course, apologies mean little if not backed up by active 'change'. Taking 'full responsibity' and doing/saying the same thing again means nothing.

Hey kids, check out Iraq War II's Death & Maiming toll!!

Global Cooling: Last week, 70 degrees seemed an ideal cool temperature for our 'swamp coolers' to blow into our adobe one story homes. Here in the high desert, we actually ADD moisture to the air to cool us down with these swamp cooler things that dribble water down onto straw that air is then blown through. This week brought the Autumn Equinox and overnight our temperatures have dropped. Now 70 degrees indoors seems COLD. Odd how that works.

Global Cold-War-ing: A blink of the eye this week, takes away all the democracy of Russia under Mr. Putin. Under the guise of fighting them dang terrorists, Putin takes charge. Soon The PATRIOT ACT of USSR will follow no doubt. Hells Bells, if the USA can go attack someone for the heck of it, why not the former Cold Warrior?

Global War-mongering: This week I turned my local newspaper subscription temporarily over to Newspapers In Education that will allow a paper or two to find its way into the classrooms where no kid is left behind anymore. I have needed a break from lies, hypocrisy, and true craziness. There truly is just too much FRESH CHAOS every day now...

Still the SWIFT KICK vets want to talk about The Nam and that NAM babe, Jane. Being a high school grad of 1969, I swam toward a college rather than to Cambodia, but I hated the whole war in Nam Then as much as Now. If Kerry fought there and then complained about it...more power to him. Are we now supposed to believe there were no atrocities in the Vietnam Quagmire? I guess so. Tell that to Lyndon Johnson and Lady Bird, then pray that W's Iraq Fantasy will be over before our children get drafted.

Global Warming: Let's see is there really global warming? Hurricanes like warm water. Four hurricanes in one month's time to hit Floreedah. Well sir, it seems a bit odd alright. Nah...ain't no such thing as global warming. Crank up that Hummer and let's go for a ride. Ride em, cowboy!!

Global Shroom-ing: It may appear soon on page ten or twelve of your daily paper, but so far no good reason has been provided for that ENORMOUS mushroom cloud to magically appear over North Korea. Atomic bomb testing...giant Korean bar-be-que-fartage? Who knows? Will we ever Know? What ever happened to that horrible AXIS OF EVIL...well nothing, they are still there...We are just QUAGMIRED in IRAQI crapshoots at the moment. And maybe for, oh say, the next twenty years. But, thank God, Terrorism is under control now under the Bush Regime Change Plan. Well at least, thank God, the economy is better...
Praise Mel Gibson and Allah, too.

Global NFL-ing: I know the opportunity to share this next bit of so-important newz won't happen, I just have to say that my Native born 'home team' the Jacksoville Jaguars are STILL at this second, UNdefeated. Yes, in the blink of an eye, we have gone beyond pre-season games and this weekend is Weekend Three in our American Gladiators' arena. So, Go Jags or [insert your fav team name]...And locally speaking, GO LOBOS.

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Saturday, September 18, 2004
Ralphie: In New OFF the ballot. In back ON the ballot. Go Ralph Go, you ugly old dog, you.

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Friday, September 17, 2004
You can tell a lot by the choices newspapers and magazines make with their photo selections. Professional photographers snap hundreds of pictures for just one front page shot, so when you see a candidate (or a movie star) with their eyes closed, it says something. Last week our local morning-conservatively-moderate-paper, the Albuquerque Journal ran a photograph of our Congress woman, Heather Wilson, talking to old folks with her eyes completely shut. It gaped badly. She is running against an ex-school Principal, Richard Romero, who is shown talking (concernedly-gently-oh-so-sweetly) to kinder, gentler old lady. Interesting.

Heather is well-known nationally for among other things, screaming her outrage at seeing exposed nipples on Super Bowl Sunday televsion; she's a die hard "W" girl. Unusual move for our conservative paper...Likewise, this morning: ther's a fantastic, large, in color shot of JFKerry standing atop a van roof with our Sandia Mountains and a colorful hot air balloon all 'glowingly gorgeous' in the twilight background. Pretty damn rosy. Below this is a stodgy photograph of Uncle DICK ,Cheney-you, CHENEY looking oh so business like, so stiff dead Uncle-ish...He too, was in our town yesterday.

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Thursday, September 16, 2004
I am finding myself a bit blown away this fine Thursday ( btw: 'tis Independence Day in Mexico and Rosh Hashanah ! ) by a sudden death in the family. Since my wife and my combined living blood relative count is way low anyhow, this comes as an even stronger blow. And with my wife still unable to 'talk' thanks to the snatching of her tonsils by a wiley surgeon 8 days ago, this 'sudden death' is...well, even more unspeakable!

Fortunately...These just in: our readers write...
Real Clear Politics!
and an innerestin' link to an article about SUV's...
SUVs at
And thanks for this good bit of humor which we can all use:

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers:  "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.  "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now  there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.  What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning......
Today you voted."

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Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Feeling on edge ? Could be a hurricane is headed your way or it could be that you are responding to the current phase of the moon which is very dark. Later this evening the new moon emerges and things may seem to move forward a bit. If couples 'share' pregnancies and other bits of chaos with the proverbial 'we', I must say that WE, my wife and I, are into DAY 6 of her undergoing an 'adult world class' tonsillectomy. What they say is true...tonsillectomies are not for the weak of heart if you are no longer a spry elementary or pre-schooler. Personally, WE will be glad to move forward a bit with this new moon.

There will only be one other New Moon between now and the day we decide (through the joy of voting) who our next President will be. Lately it seems that JFKerry just can't win with the slogs of graddoo poured down upon him from the Republican Smear Machine which is greased up pretty darn good these days. The daily death toll in Iraq is mounting; Iraqi police department officials are dropping like swatted flies. None of this seems to matter anymore to an apparent new majority of N. American voters at least in the polls. Hard to tell at this point which voters are hearing from whom and who, what, when, or where they'll vote for, from, above, or below.There's one more moon to go folks.

Yesterday, I completed my fourth POET'S CORNER column for a local newspaper. I would like to share it with you as we wait on Hurricanes and New moons. This particular column is all about the miracle of forming words and that of finding your voice...It also notes how it can be easier to be critical of others rather than positive...'Tis a sad state for poets, lovers, and writers these days.

It Don’t Come Easy

Ringo Starr had a popular song that speaks of today’s hot topic: r-e-c-o-g-n-i-t-i-o-n. There are many definitions for this word; let me paraphrase a few: acknowledgement, attention, favorable notice, to know or to identify, approval, acceptance, appreciation for...From our first cries as a new born, we crave and look forward to moments of recognition from others.

The problem is that it is a scary thing for a lot of folks to acknowledge others with praise or compliments. There are some folks who find giving praise to others easier than accepting the gift of praise for themselves. These folks are rare. Sad as it seems, criticism seems to come easier and more often than praise or positive recognition.

When a person writes down their thoughts and words, that person is called to recognize his or her own feelings about those words. To think a thought and then to physically write that thought into words on paper is, when you think about it, a miraculous event. Miraculous and scary. What have we created? Is it the truth? Is it magic? Is it a message to self or to others? Can it be ingredients for a p-o-e-m ? Oh my God, what have I done?

When one distributes their words through email, or puts them in an envelope with a stamp (remember those things we used to call ‘letters’?), how those words will be received is a mystery. You hope for a positive reaction to your words. You can pray. But frankly, you just never know how your words will be understood by others. Your words express your own reality and experience. Each receiver of your words has his or her own unique ‘experience’ of life as well. I may mention the word ‘c-a-t’. You might be a lover or a hater of cats; you bring a unique experience to that simple three letter word. Your opinion of ‘cats’ may not be the same as mine. Is this a bad thing or a good thing? Am I ‘a good witch or a bad witch’, a Republican or a Democrat? A dog lover or cat lover or both? And what are you, the reader of these words? Does it matter? How can we learn to rcognize and acknowledge each other?

Through our shared knowledge of words, we can reach a place of recognition that is shared together. Words are powerful. They can heal. They can wound. They can beg for miracles. Words need to be written and they need to be heard by an audience of at least one. You are your first audience. After that, who knows? Where do you share your words ? To whom do you speak your words? Are they locked inside your heart and mind? Are they on paper? Are they merged into a poem, a story, an article? Do you write words only for homework to be marked up by teachers bearing evil red pens? That is for you to decide.

Soon we will hear the sounds of geese and cranes returning to winter in our valley. They have their song to sing. They sing it without judgement. Their flight song is as miraculous as your words are. Think about this. Ponder it and see if you don’t have some words that others may benefit from seeing and hearing because we have a place for your words...A contest with prize money and a guaranteed audience to hear your words. Sure, you can write words on paper just for the miraculous joy of the process but if you can win money and recognition, so much the better! So strike up the band...Take it away, Herb Alpert. Kick it in Mantovani. Enter our contest. Mail in your poems. Sing your song and take flight with us; you might win money and give birth to r-e-c-o-g-n-i-t-i-o-n. And you know, it just don’t come easy.

Jeff Hartzer
copyright 2004

If you want to enter 'the contest' mentioned above, here are the rules:

Albuquerque’s South Valley Ink is offering $50. in cash prizes plus instant eligibility to read your work on Friday, November 12th in the first ever POET’S NIGHT OUT at the AirDance ArtSpace located at 3030 Isleta Blvd S.W.
This contest is open to all ages, poetry styles, and the autumn skyis the limit on topics for your poem...However, keep in mind that the South Valley Ink is a 'family friendly' publication.
_Poems must be typed.
_NO entry fee is required.
_All works must be original.
_Poems must be less than 33 lines in length.
_Poems must be mailed...No online submissions.
P.O. Box 25892
Albuquerque, N.M. 87125
_Poems will not be returned (do not send originals).
_Poets may submit up to fifteen poem entries with a maximum of three poems per envelope.
_Please include your NAME, MAILING ADDRESS, and PHONE NUMBER with all contest entries.

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Sunday, September 12, 2004
In New York and elsewhere, yesterday was a solemn occasion, the third anniversary of 9-11. But here in Albuquerque and I suspect other cities around the country we are given the opportunity to honor 3000 dead all weekend long with 0% APR. Thursday our paper included a circular with the dubious announcement of a Patriot Day sale affording us three days of amazing deals on luxury cars.

A white sale can't be far behind. Go into debt with your ex-military monster vehicle for peace now. It's your patriotic duty - and possibly your last chance, if the terrorists have anything to say about it. Live right and live now and burn those dinosaurs like there's no tomorrow!

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Saturday, September 11, 2004
What transpired this day three years ago, united our country and the world in a way that was miraculously divine.

It is a shame that what has come of this day in the past three years is not more honorable to those who lost their lives.

God bless us all this day, 2004.

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Friday, September 10, 2004
In somewhat of a 'NO brainer' the Log Cabin Republicans have 'just said NO' to Lt. W. Surprisingly they supported the Dubster four years ago. I guess they didn't like the fact that W got all those favors during the Vietnam years. Or could it be that W is a huge Jesus-Loving Homophobe? I don't know.

Speaking of Jesus, click this link to learn more about the costume chaos of Miss Universe, Jennifer Hawkins from the Sydney, Au. newspapers. So cool to 'click a link' and suddenly you're in Sydney taking a gander at Miss Universe.

Blame Game: now just who is responsible for sending hurricane after hurricane into the Sunshine State...Bush or Kerry? You make the call. Maybe Jesus or the Buddha? And seven typhoons have struck Japan this season setting a new record. Now who is responsible for that ? Satan or Ghandi? And the suffering by 40 million Medicare recipients who face a 17% increase in fee payments for 2005...Reagan or Nixon's fault? Those four Navy Seals now facing court martials for their alleged Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse...John the Baptist or was it Napoleans's fault that they exceeded their limits? Clinton's heart attack? McDonald's or Burger Schwing? And lest we forget...Zell MIller...whose fault is he?

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Thursday, September 09, 2004
Friends have asked, Hey you live in a desert; You do all that internet stuff; Have you ever been to the Burning Man Festival...?
Well sirs and I haven't. But there is something uniquely cool about burning stuff in early autumn, especially here in High Desert Country. The annual burning of old man gloom in Santa Fe is your ticket to pyromania personified. They call the old man , Zozobra.


Something is in the air tonight along with old man gloom in flames, and that is a pigskin in the rain over Boston. Monday Night Football on Thursday has kicked off the official now-it-is-Fall-sale over at the National Football League. The first games commercials are almost as innerestin' as at the last game of the year the soup bowl...The advertisements you see tonight, will be shown over and over ad nauseum and it is only tonight that they are 'fresh'. So enjoy. What's with Coors Beer? Who cares how cold beer is before it gets to the store/bar/tavern/7-11/campsite/poolside/hot tub as long as it is cold when served. I recall the days when Coors was the only beer where that pre-served coldness actually counted. You could only buy it somewhere near Colorado. Now all beer is so filled with preservatives and pastuerized and anatomicaly correct , who cares.

If you are as tired of hearing Your Local on the Eights as I am , then you too are addicted to the weather channel...and another huge Hurricane brew-not-so-ha-ha is on the way. Another score for this Monkey Year 2004. And what the crap-oh-lahs !! Here comes another TV advertisement from the stick folks at pc people or is it peoplepc?...Are they the new AOL just without free flying saucer cd give aways? Whoever they are, their advertisements are waaaay over the line on times per hour that they appear on your tv screens.

Haven't heard lately of any college kids being ripped from their dormitory seats and hauled off to jail for illegal music/movie downloads. Get on it, TSA!!...We need more arrests. My latest downloaded prize package is FIVE (count em Danno) versions of Neil Young's Cortez the Killer...Some folks download whole movies, thousands of cd's, millions of psedo-'les-bian' scenes. You can bet that allof those people have a faster computer download time than I. My patience is nil and void. Null too. I know you want to know who in the world but Neil would play that long and amazing song about the plight of our world wide Natives being trounced on by Invaders from other countries than their own Native ones. Ok here you version is by the Dave Matthews Band; another is by The Grateful Dead; then we go to Gov't Mule, followed up by two groups soon to be household names...SLINT and MERCURY REV and it only took me three days to download these gems. rules.

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Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Today's headlines...BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) - U.S. military deaths in the Iraq campaign passed the 1,000 milestone Tuesday, with more than 800 of them during the stubborn insurgency that flared after the Americans brought down Saddam Hussein and President Bush declared major combat over.

Oh ma God!!The Specialty Coffee Association of America has retracted their ranking of cities with the most coffee shops per capita (see 9/28 entry below) which put Albuquerque at Number One (over Seattle,Wa. and Lawrence,Ks. among others)...There was a 'miscalculation' with the data according to Luisa Verma the reference library chief of staff for the association. The list is hereby retracted and will not be recalculated at this time. Appaently miscalculations happen.

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Monday, September 06, 2004
Two Dems down...Bill Clinton and Theresa Heinz Kerry have both been hospitalized this long weekend (one for a blown out heart the other a blown out stomache). It is tough being a 'bleeding heart liberal' these days. Much easier to push people out of your way, to tells lies without remorse, and to have no qualms about any of your actions.

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Sunday, September 05, 2004
FreshChaos Frances Reportage...We have an underpaid correspondent typing away at his computerized Storm Center in Jax.,Fl. who is sending in his latest Gonzo Style Retorts from the stalled out Hurricane Frances at least while the power lasts...

dateline Jacksonville:Sun, 5 Sep 2004 08:18:39
We're finally getting it. Just as I was about to send this message, the power winked and I lost it. Lights have been dimming and flickering this am.Gusty winds DO exist and they're here now. 30-60 mph.Tornados sighted in Clay County near Doctors Inlet. Under tornado warning(not watch).Little rain yesterday and last eve until about 7:45 am, then in sheets. Frances is a big, slow moving bitch.

dateline Jacksonville:Sun, 5 Sep 2004 11:24:03This just in ; all local teevee stations just have noos about Franny now. All we got is gusty winds and intermittant rain with occasional tornado warnings and sightings. Mostly silly hype.
 Winn-Dixie, Pubelicks closed as are most churches. Apparently Jesus don't come out during rain.Still electrified.More as it does or doesn't happen.

dateline Jacksonville:Sun, 5 Sep 2004 13:40:16
Wind now gusting between 50-70mph at beach.
 Mathews Bridge closed to all traffic.Dames Point closed to SUV's and high profile trucks.Pool covered with limbs, leaves and pine needles. Just small stuff so far.

dateline Jacksonville:Sun, 5 Sep 2004 14:11:53
St. Augie Pier has wind over 70mph
 Hart Bridge  now closed.
 JIA (that's the airport to you nonlocals) closed also.
 100,000 on Worst Coast w/o electricity.20,000  off grid in Mandarin.
Still flickering here.Ivan is out in the Atlantic. Cat 3; expected  to be at least Cat 4

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Hurricane Howard hits west coast and actually caused it to rain in New Mexico yesterday...A Typhoon is hitting oriental coasts...and Hurricane Francheesemo is Stalled in Jeb Bush's state of non sunshine. In recent 'Monkey year's' Hurricane Andrew and Mt. St. Helen's blew...This Monkey year might top them all for big blows.

It seems that Bush can do no wrong and Kerry can do no 'right'...This just in: our readers write...There is a piece written by Frank Rich in today's New York Times today which says it all. The article is titled "How Kerry Becam a Girlie-Man."  The first sentence reads, "Only in an election year ruled by fiction could a sissy who used Daddy's connections to escape Vietnam turn an actual war hero into a girlie-man."  The article goes on to analyze how Karl Rove as masterfully won the contest of who is more "macho". 

Some important points in the article---"Dont believe anyone who says that this will soon fade, and that the election will henceforth turn on health-care policy or other wonkish debate.  Any voter who's undecided by now is this polarized election isn't sitting around studying the fine oints.  In a time of fear, the only battle that matters is the broad-stroked cultural mano a mano over who's the most macho."

The article goes further to say, "Mr Kerry was said to appear "French" (That's code for "faggy",) His alleged encounters with Botox and a Christophe haridresser were dutifully clocked on Drudge.  Ann Coulter, that great arbiter of the marriage bond, posted a column titled "Just a Gigolo" in which the presumptive Democratic candidate was protrayed as "a poodle to rich women."  Eventually John Edwards became the "Breck girl".

Most insightful, the article goes on to explain---"It's Mr. Kerry's behavior now, not what he did 35 years ago, that has prevented his manliness from trumping the president's.  ...The truth is that Mr. Kerry was a man's man not just when he volunteered to fight in a losing war but when he came home and forthrightly fought against it, on grounds that history has upheld.  Unless he's man enough to stand up for that post, he's doomed to keep competing with Mr. Bush to see who can best play an action figure on TV. "

I think this article sums up what is happening in this race.  If you get a chance, read the whole article.

Kerry: a girlie man?

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Friday, September 03, 2004
For you 'horrorscopers' Mercury went direct on Tuesday and 'communications' do indeed seem to be moving forward in direct motion again just like that huge Hurricane Frances bee-otch headed for conch land locales...

So much to read about, to see, and to reflect upon as we begin the 'harvest season' with Laborious Day Weekend unfolding...Hell Boy Zell, Bush,Cheney, Jesus (dvd) re-dux, yada yada...One thing is for sure...looks like it is going to be Bush-Cheney vs. Kerry-Edwards...that said, the link below sums up 'politics' with some humor...

Indecision 2004!!

Salute our Troops!

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Thursday, September 02, 2004
This quotation is in today's local paper hints at the sure-to-come Republican October Surprise: "The Bush adminisitration concluded Wednesday that Iran is ready to produce enough enriched uuranium for four nuclear weapons." Well sirs and madames, I am 'ready to produce' a novel and go to the moon but I probably won't. The door to Iran continues to open wider.

Things in Russia are getting worse. How do I know this? The stories are moving to page 7 from page 10. And if there is a 'devil in disguise' walking our earth, he's one of those dynamite-strapped hostage takers holding school children for ransom in Besian, Russia. 16 dead so far. Insanity. But it doesn't involve USA citizens so it is not on the front page. Obviously, this story isn't over yet and obviously we are not very 'safe' anywhere when things like this could happen. And who is to say that it couldn't have happen here? Or say, in Colorado?

KOBE : free!! FREE : KOBE!! Message to the World: In America, when you slander the victim of a media savvy rapist long enough you can be FREE again to make millions and play with your balls. Er.. play balls...round basketball.

DVD news: Finding Jesus did not outsell Finding Nemo. That's a relief.

In honor now of the DVD release of "The Passion", here's a 'reprint' of the FRESHCHAOS article entitled, 'Hey Seuss' :


Springtime arrives in force this weekend about the time the green beer flows out of the Mel Gibson theater goers. Happy days are here again for the penitent flagellators. Jesus Christ, it's Mel Gibson! Mel...Jesus! A dry Gibson on the rocks. Christ...Mel...It's Jesus. Life's not the same as last year. Jesus Christ Mel Gibson Jesus Mel Christ Gibson...Jesus Christ Mel Gibson Jesus Mel Christ Gibson...Jesus Christ Mel Gibson Jesus Mel Christ Gibson...Jesus Christ Mel Gibson Jesus Mel Christ Gibson...Oh Jesus. Mel. Christ. Gibson! Life's not the same as last week.

How is it that Smell's movie is such a hit? Is there a need to purge our sins for going to War without a plan? Is it our need to masticate the masses with a two hour sit in the dark with bloody flagellations pornographically displayed? Or do we just love Aramaic? Do we prefer to watch Hey-Seuss than our soldiers suffering through their Missions of Peace? Will we be made better by witnessing the pillaging of the Christ? Is it our Lenten duty to attend?

Hey-Seuss has many facets and faces. Many Hey-Seuss movies and stories over time. There's Hey-Seuss the manger babe. Hey-Seuss the child. Hey-Seuss tossing the money changers. Hey-Seuss with the wise old guys. Hey-Seuss and Ben Hur. Hey-Seuss serving vino at the wedding winning the good graces of His Mother's bridge club friends. Hey-Seuss alone in the desert. Hey-Seuss in the garden. Hey-Seuss discovers herbal remedies. Hey-Seuss making bread and fish dishes. Hey-Seuss grows a beard. Hey-Seuss on the cross. Hey-Seuss lights candles in the rain. Hey-Seuss sermon-ing on the mount. Hey-Seuss steps off the dock of the bay. Hey-Seuss out fishing in the calm waters. Hey-Seuss making the not-so-calm-waters calm again. Hey-Seuss denied. Hey-Seuss goes on the world wide web. Hey-Seuss palm frondedly praised riding an ass. Hey-Seuss and The Rising from the grave. Hey-Seuss does His laundry. Hey-Seuss appears after death. And of course there's Hey-Seuss conversing with George W. Bush.

Our halo-ed President has Hey-Seuss on His side. Sanctimoniously sacrosanct, our country's leader waves His little smiley faced waves hopping on helicopters with unanswered questions thrown away in the winds of the war weary. Sad to see the President of Spain fall from graces. The Hey-Seuss of Spain must be a different Hey-Seuss. Here's to the Hey-Seuss of Great Britain.

This weekend brings in a new moon, and a new season; any second now, our clocks 'Spring ahead' (04/04/04)...It is a time for fast growth and the breaking away from the old. Thing is, if plants shoot up too fast they wither. Birthing is hard; death harder. Rapid change is scary.

We all need cling-ons. Right now it's Gay Marriages, March Madness and the Sopranos final season. Let's Stone Martha. Suckle at the horror of Janet's teat. Wear Manolo Blahniks. Move on to the feet of Mel's 'Hey-Seuss'. Forget the madness of last year's war that was not a war. WMDs or the lack thereof still bother a few of the non-patriots but the masses have blissfully moved on dot org. W's World is so surrealistically evil and wrapped in the cloak of Our Lord, that sugary sweet disasters go down without much of a stretch of the throat for the massively media-moved masses.

Leave no child behind in the so-enormous-it-is-incomprehensible-to-all-DEBT that all our children are inheriting this very moment and the next and the next. Who Cares? It's those damn men marrying men we care about. Those damn bastardos.
Test the children. Test the teachers. Kill the pot plants. Arrest the herbalists. Fire up the monopolies making money in jail management. Let schools falter and fail outside the new jails and courts.

Next comes Base-ah-ball, vacation season and down the long road, hurricanes and football season again. Along the way, Hi-Lo carb diets will come and go. All things must pass. Election Erections. The end of the world. World War II vets pass onto their grassy graves and generations of swine rise and fall. Nothing remains the same except for our need for things to cling-onto.

Things in America must be clearly labeled. There is no middle ground. Things are on 'my side or your side' Wrong-O.

Things in nature just aren't that way. They are mixed. They transit. They blend. There is no right or wrong tornado, rainbow, lightning bolt. There are no black or white clouds. Things move in constant flux and blends. Musically, naturally. Oh so groovily. Explosively without judgments or rights or wrongs.

Have you noticed that the Big Dipper has returned to the night sky and that Orion is moving away? Seasons change. We live, we die, we cling. And we pay mightily to wait in line for high and mighty Doctors to greet us with How R U today? Not too good, Dude.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't seem to join in with the massively media-moved masses. I find myself in flux and disagreement. I find that all I want to do is talk to animals and soak up the sun with Sheryl Crow. Is that so bad? Depends on who you are. Where you stand on the issues. What kind of SUV you have. Do you live in the heights or the valleys? Are you a good witch or a bad witch? Do you love Hey-Seuss or admire the Buddha? Are you more Shocked and Awe-Shucked by Janet's teat or by the insanity of today's American love-it-or-leave-it Ways?

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Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Holy Guano, Ratdog... What a day...the first of September. Is it just me or is the world whirling through its conical orbit a bit faster? The Atlantic Ocean is certainly rolling and churning on cue for Septemeber, the key month for Hurricanes. Florida 'battens down' again for the third major storm to come ashore this season. (Hey, do you know what a batten is? It is a piece of ruler sized wood placed into a sailboat's sails to help blossom out the sail). To 'batten down' a sail is to wind it up along the boom to present less sail area to the wind. Do you know what a 'Boom' is? It's what's gonna happen if Wgets four more years. That BOOM will be heard loudest over Iran.

With the world twirling at top speed and chaos abounding, it is often the truly 'crucial issues' that inspire our readers to write... this just in : Where did you find that info about Abq and coffee shops? [see 8/28/04]  And what are the standards? Is it cities over 100,000 and what do they consider a coffee shop? If it's espresso, Lawrence [Ks.] has not only more per capita it has just plain MORE.

Go coffee drinkers, go. Lead on McDuff.

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So much Chaos,
So little time.

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