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Friday, July 30, 2004
The Bush administration projects this year's budget deficit at a record $445 billion. And speaking of the Burning Bush Administration, DICK Cheney is coming to New Mexico this weekend and if you are an active member of the USA general public and want tickets to see our Vice President, you must sign this "Pledge of Allegiance" first:

I, (name)___________as (title)___________of (city)____________of (state)___________, do hereby endorse George W. Bush for re-election of the United States.
Signed (name)____________(date)________
In signing the above endorsement you are consenting to the use and release of your name by Bush/Cheney as an endorser of President Bush.
(But not of the Big Dick?!)

Along with odd sentence structure, what they are asking you to pledge in order to see this elected public official is pretty darn Orwellian. CHENEY you!!

New Mexico and California are supposed to have members of Al-Qaida running around loose. Though unsure of how, why, when, or where, an attack in May was apparently 'quashed by the FBI' with 'increased security measures'. Praise Mel Gibson!!

Whilst we ponder the number of red, white, and blue balloons sold in Boston this week, over 1300 folks have flat out died in Bangladesh. 'I thought all of those George Harrison concerts fed the babies and stuff there!' you might scream. Perhaps many lives were made better with rock concert ticket sales and film rights, but nothing could stop God and Mel Gibson from flooding the place with rainage these past two weeks. Also this week, a few thousand more human beings were injured, maimed, and otherwise 'taken out' by the current Iraq Conflict. In other b-a-d freshchaos the Sudan situation is completely out of control, but no one wants to label it 'genocide' yet, because it is Blacks who are dying or maybe because of the fact that the Saudi Arabians are so involved. Who knew?

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Thursday, July 29, 2004
Despite our Vice President's best efforts to enlighten us all, I am still not comfortable using the 'F word' in print or on the web...However when someone else does, it's funny...

This little cartoon came out back when the second Mideastern War was cranking up with our second bushie War President at the helm of our War-Machined country. As anyone knows, it takes a whole lot of Terror to save the world from Terror. Thank the stars, it was such a short and painless war, for these are kinder, gentler times.

The new Jimmy Buffett album called License to Chill is fantabulous!! Last few daze, we just can't get enough of it. Jimmy combines talents with a few country stars on the water and the result (though it took a few listens) has proven to be a good choice for the Chief Parrot Head. Freshchaos is calling this The Best Buffett in years. You can for the moment, see a cover shot from the cd on our Amazon box to your right...those boxes change frequently by the way with a box for new cd's on your right (that's 'starboard' to you salty sea dogs) and new dvd's in the Amazon box to your left (that be the 'port' side mates).

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Tuesday, July 27, 2004
"We live in an interdependent world--in which we cannot possibly kill, jail, or occupy all our potential adversaries."
-Bill Clinton-  July 26, 2004

For a complete distraction, you can visit our newly renovated webpage regarding the adventures of Big Daddy Earl . Earl is a musician who moved from Albuquerque to NYC in September 2003. His adventures (seen through a series of emails) have proven to be fascinating to more than a few of our readers. It is not an easy task settling into the Big City apparently.

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Monday, July 26, 2004
Monday Night Chaos...DEMcon04

Less than a week ago, I 'wondered aloud' here on freshchaos, Whaz up with the littlest congressman Mr. K.? and with a lightning quickness, the universe has responded...Kucinich out.

Two signs of the apocalypse follow...Both are true, they happened to me this past week.

_While at our Educators Credit Union, I wanted some cash-o-la in big bills. "We're out of large bills," the lady says. I was a bit taken back. "So when will you be getting some?" I ask. "They get delivered every Tuesday," says she. That being a Thursday, things looked bad. No wonder teachers complain of low salaries and lack of a good HMO if all they can withdraw is twenties.

_A finance company sent me a letter saying I could take out a huge loan if I called right away. They didn't quite have my name correct on their postcard so I called the local number shown on the card for the huge loan. I didn't want the loan; I asked instead to be completely removed from future mailings. "Sir, that's from our main office," she says. "Well tell them to remove my name then," say I. "Sir, that's our main office," she repeats, "I don't have their number." "You don't have the number for your MAIN OFFICE?" "No sir." "Well then remove my name by magic if you have to, but do it now, please!"

Ron Reagan, Jr. will be a sought after man of the hour this week at DEMCon04...Last week, though, he was the star announcer of an unusual event on Animal Planet tv, the Eukanuba Tournament of Champions in Harrisburg, Pa. Whaz that? A huge dog show! Apparently, the Ronster is quite the dog aficionado. There were no scenes of W dropping his fiesty Scottie dog, just lots of show dogs and the voice of Ronnie Jr.

C-span the website, will host live cams and other truly exciting unfolding stories all week long from DEMCon04, so don't miss a minute of the hot action even whilst checking your daily spam/emails.

Or you can choose to ignore DEMCon04 by watching the following TV shows this week...So far, The 4400, USA Network's latest Sci Fi thriller is actually pretty darn intriguing to a point. USA's MONK is a big Friday night favorite of mine, seeing that I am very monk-ish myself in many ways and on many levels. Hmm...

SHARK WEEK on the Discovery Channel is off to a slow start after last night's incredibly boring opener all about a woman who screams over and over on the same sound bite (ouch) while she films with her own camera a shark approaching her diving flipper...this is shown over and over. comes a shark again and again and again...and no wait, that's a promo for a new movie about a couple of divers left behind in the middle of the ocean where certain sharks live, which plot-wise is exactly like this woman who is left alone in mid ocean with sharks afoot, so to speak. AHHH...make it stop. Here's to more actual shark footage in tonight's episode.

FX has a sure-FIRE hit in RESCUE ME. Last week's first episode was smokingly good. Go Dennis Leary and all you NYFD members whether real or actors.The Sci Fi Channel's STARGATE ATLANTIS remains quite a trip, two episodes into the new season. RENO 911 on the Comedy Channel sirens along in its continuingly funny and freshly chaotic second season. It's into repeats now, but if you missed the actual season, then there you go...don't miss CHAPPELLE'S SHOW on Comedy Central.

Okay already...Watching all of the shows mentioned above will surely wipe out hours of those speeches on DEMCon04. If you must catch the latest, then tune nightly to the Comedy Central's DAILY SHOW with JON STEWART for the latest with huge twists of freshchaos thrown in.

This JUST in: Our readers write...

__Some Facts & Figures given to AMA by the US Army Surgeon General Chicago Early July: We have over 900 dead soldiers in Iraq...We have had 15,000 medical evacuations from Iraq to Germany...We have 2000 + soldiers with missing legs or arms...We have 450 soldiers without genitalia...We have 300 soldiers without faces...We have killed over 40,000 men, women and children in Iraq...

__[We] just saw farenheit. Moore has done a very good thing for the cause of justice and peace. Now we have to get everyone to see it. I have renewed hope for defeating bush and those who control him.

__a reader sent in this posting by 'anonymous' on an AOL board (7/9/04)...We know you have a lot of tv to watch but this rant is worth clicking over to...THEY KNOW NO SHAME.

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Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Freshchaos recommends a tv show premiering tonight featuring comedian/actor Denis Leary on FX. The show is called Rescue Me and it may be a sure FIRE hit as a "post 9/11 M*A*S*H". As a lover of disasters, firemen, cops, robbers, and ambulance crews, I'll be a watchin' this one.

Poignant comedic chaos seems to be its underlying feature. One large inspiration for the show is Leary's real life cousin, Jeremiah Lucey, who lost his life in a much written about Worcester, Mass. warehouse fire that killed six men. That and, of course, the deaths of 343 New York City fire fighters in the 911 tragedy.

In other tv snewz..."...bleeding may occur and tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems..." Shouldn't your doctor TELL YOU if you have those problems?

The new Stargate Atlantis on the SciFi channnel is pretty darn cool, if you are into that sort of thing. Good for a few freshchaos toes UP.

In Apocalyptic snewz... June was the warmest month on record E-V-E-R for the state of Alaska. Good news for mosquitos and bad news for permafrost and the rest of our time on the planet. AAAAHHHH...

In local political laughable snewz... Sen. Rod Adair, Republican senator for New Mexico's 33rd District, following the credo "know thine enemy" has a plan for seeing "Fahrenheit 9/11 without 'rewarding' the film's maker.

"Only see it in a multiplex theater," Adair writes. "Buy a ticket for something else, say 'King Arthur' or 'Spiderman 2.' Then once inside, just go see 'Fahrenheit 9/11.' That way you get to see a movie that it is important to know about, but you don't end up actually rewarding Michael Moore." -full story-

And all this time I have thought that only evil liberals did illegal things like sneak into movies for free!

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Tuesday, July 20, 2004
This just in: A reader writes...Just got through reading the spaceman poem, and, yes, they have been COMPLETLY forgotten.  We may see few references to Apollo 11, as well. How tragic, a collective state of amnesia. I'll never forget either day, one heroic, the other tragic. I think your poem lays bare our current state of affairs.

Now, the drums of fear are beginning to beat regarding Iran, and its' "ties" to Al Queda. Sounds suspiciously like the groundwork is being laid for "action" to be taken towards Iran, based on "intelligence." Does this all have a familiar ring, or will the collective amnesia take hold once again? We shall see how it plays out, and whether the seeds are being planted for an "October Surprise" that can influence the outcome of the election.

Thanks for these comments...Add your own anytime with the handy dandy message communicator to your left.

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Not sure which of the following headlines is the worst news:
This one:Michael Jackson fathers Quads !!

Or, the number of U.S. troops killed in the Iraq war to 899, including 666 in combat.

In other innerestin' newz: More about the new Bubba...John Edwards' bro has pleaded innocent to DWI charges. The charge is ten years old which seems a tad odd. On 11/04/1993, he was arrested in Arapahoe County, Colorado on suspicion of driving under the influence, careless driving and having no insurance. A warrant was issued when he failed to appear in the local courts. So what's been going on all these years with Wesley Blake Edwards ?

It seems in families with brothers that there must historically be the Good Son and the Bad Son. In my own family history, I was the Good Son up until my brother fell from our mother's womb. From age ten, on I ranked in as the bad son. Today writing this horrendous thing called 'Fresh Chaos' whilst my brother preaches to his new Episcopalien flock of parishioners. Being the 'first born' seems to have been a rough road for many brothers and sisters. Being the 'born against' rebel...does it serve anyone well to be the lightning rod? The view from the rooftops is outstanding but that lightning can sure be a zinger. This begs the question, are you The Good, the Bad, or the not-so-sure?

And here is another question to ponder...when will Dennis Kucinich throw in his towel?

Time to get out there and celebrate today's 35th Anniversary of that fateful walk on the moon.

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Monday, July 19, 2004
7-20-2004 marks the thirty-fifth anniversary of our valiant spacemen landing on the moon...Go valiant spacemen!...Things seemed simpler as that white-suited fellow strode across the moondust. Here's a Hey Mr. Spaceman poem I wrote in February of 2003 in our more austere space program times...

Perhaps you may recall (how quickly we forget!!) the tragedy caused by a styrofoam board loosening on the belly of a spaceship passing over the Lone Star State of W, just as all hell was set to break loose in that never to be forgotten Shock and Awefulness that was to come. In my mind the deaths of those seven astronauts were our first seven casualties of the war on terror...

Our First Seven

To see fear falling across wide open western skies...
To hear Colin talk through the histrionics of a powerpoint war
I feel a fear of the world outside
I know a fear for the world inside
and I am unsure what to do.
To do, to do...Is there nothing to do ?

Nothing to do but to think and pray
about a piece of STYROFOAM
strong enough to knock us from the atmospheric sky
falling in flames white, blue, orange
at Mach 18 from two hundred thousand feet.
a piece of STYROFOAM
strong enough to end it all for our first seven.
Fear lives this day
Fear and war go hand in hand, arm and arm.
Fear goes to war speaking a sadness with goosebumps
Fear is a great mobilizer...
When the fear gives way to buttons pushed
and masks laid down in blood,
will we think then of the first seven to fall?

No war is so casual as to be without casualties...
When the hard times of war take the next seven
and the next seven,
will men and women die just as these sky soldier astronauts
tripped up by styrofoam down into the fiery plunges
of a sky blue sky?
Will we so honor the first seven soldiers to go...
I am scared for our nation
under many Gods tonight.

copyright 2003-04

Jeff Hartzer

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Friday, July 16, 2004
April Fool's comes a bit early for W at this website showing what is purported to be an 'active billboard' over the streets of Big Dallas in the state of Texasssssss...Go Longhorns...!

The site is called Ouch. I might have named it but that's just me, Capn' Liberal. And as we all know, ALL LIBERALS should just go Cheney themselves!

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Martha Stewart is going to jail. The celebrity homemaker
receives 5 months behind bars for lying about a stock sale. At this rate perhaps Ken Lay will get two centuries of jail time or ah...probation.

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Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Same Sex Marriage ban peters out

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Saturday, July 10, 2004
This just in...

Monkeywire, a PR firm for the so-called lower primates (about time monkeys and apes got some representing!), is calling on politicos and news media who usually report on human stuff to stop referring to W. as a chimp or a monkey, a practice they declare to be demeaning and just plain wrong. The Monkeywire folks claim that these references concentrate on physical similarities while ignoring more important differences in behavior.

Read the full press release at Following are my fave passages:

Bush shares with lower primates the ability to make his desires clear despite an inability to communicate in English. He also understands and reacts to negative stimuli, and makes use of simple tools. However, Bush's dental records clearly demonstrate that he is human.

'Bush has proposed changing the Endangered Species Act to allow imports of endangered species and body parts,' says McLaren [one of Monkeywire's cofounders]. 'A chimp would never do that.' [They] also cite Bush's position on global warming as evidence of his anti-chimp position.

'Obviously, Bush is not a chimp,' said McLaren. 'But we hope everyone can come together to release him into the wild.'

Please note that McLaren said INTO the wild, not ONTO the wild! The article ends with portraits of a W-like chimp and a giraffe-like Kerry and the tag line, Apes for Kerry. All hilarity aside, we know that the GOP will never let the lower primates of Florida, etc. to vote for Mr. Longface and his perky Southern belle, no matter how endangered they may be! (Uh ... who's endangered? Apes? Liberals?)

And speaking of the L-word, have you seen the TV ad in which the GOP 4-more-years folks call Kerry "the nation's most liberal senator"? Assuming the nation in question is the US, then the ad's writers are obviously insane! Do they mean to say that all Democrats are liberals? Or are they just using liberal as a substitution for another L-word, loser?! Well, Cheney that!

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Friday, July 09, 2004
Kerry speaks tonight ... to the tune of The Lion Sleeps Tonight? (Nope, Disney and Africa have the trademarks!) It is a dry and gusty evening in the high desert as the two Johns arrive in Albuquerque. Also in our town this evening is the boy who would be king except for the alleged fact that he killed his whole family on a famous newsman's New Mexican Rancho de Chaos over the weekend. He is spending time with psychiatric workers at the University of New Mexico hospital. Kerry and Edwards plan to stay at a hotel. Busy day for them with apparent Cheney Speak (Cheney you, too!!) issued by Whoopsi Goldberg at their last get together. Whether this signals a short honeymoon for the cosmic duo or just a bump in the road, only their hairdressers know for sure.

This just in...
This bit of freshchaos goes with [actual road signs] "Gusty Winds May Exist" and "Possible Insect Swarms Ahead"... I bought a cheapo cd player... On the back it sez  "UNIT AUTOMATICALLY BECOMES PORTABLE WHEN CARRIED."

Continued thanks to our readers who are actually using the 'quick note device' to your left. Apologies for not getting to your intriguing queries sooner...

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Sunday, July 04, 2004
Hip, Hip Sharapova and Happy 4th to you and yours.
Create fireworks!!

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Saturday, July 03, 2004
During Friday's Full Moon, Marlon Brando passed on through to the other side. With his health issues and family in constant crisis mode, it is somewhat surprising that he hasn't "fallen through" long before this. Call me a hippie gone gray or a l-i-b-e-r-a-l but I can not think of Marlon Brando without recalling these lyrics from the Neil Young song entitled, Pocahontas...


Aurora borealis, the icy sky at night
Paddles cut the water in a long and hurried flight
From the white man to the fields of green in the homeland we’ve never seen.

They killed us in our tepee and they cut our women down
They might have left some babies cryin’ on the ground
But the firesticks and the wagons come and the night falls on the setting sun.

They massacred the buffalo kitty corner from the bank
Taxis run across my feet and my eyes have turned to blanks...
In my little box at the top of the stairs with my Indian rug and a pipe to share.

I wish a was a trapper, I would give a thousand pelts
To sleep with Pocahontas and find out how she felt
In the mornin’ on the fields of green, in the homeland we’ve never seen.

And maybe Marlon Brando will be there by the fire
We’ll sit and talk about Hollywood and the good things there for hire
Like the astrodome and the first tepee
Marlon Brando, Pocahontas, and me
Marlon Brando, Pocahontas, and me

Go Cheney yourself !!
In a more humorous vein, I have been thinking about the recent Cheney guffaw...Gaff...Gape...and have come to some more 'thoughts' if not exactly 'conclusions' about his recent mean spirited 'incident' on the floor of the U.S. Senate...

Today's newz...Vice President Dick Cheney used his first campaign bus tour Saturday to label Democrat John Kerry "on the left, out of the mainstream and out of touch with the conservative values of the heartland."

Yesterday's newz...Not too long ago the name Mel Gibson became forever associated with Jesus Christ. In that same vein, it is hard (haha, Bill) to not associate the name Monica Lewinski with various sucking phenomena.

Can we now just as easily slip an amicable Go Cheney yourself !! into our conversations...?
Certainly stands to reason...It might go like this...

Looka there...
She's pulling a Lewinski !
Mel Gibson !
Oh, Go Cheney yourself ! Cheney yourself !
No, you.
Aw, Cheney !

Is this the big guffaw that will bring down the BIG OLD DUDE and his sidekick nephew-in-chaos,W ?
One big guffaw like this sure up-ended Howard Deano Beano; but, he was a Democrat and a damn Liberal. Maybe it will be easier for The Grand Old Party to say, 'F--K You' outloud now. Or more politely...Go CHENEY YOURSELF!!

Hey! Thanks to you, our readers here is a collage of your 'fresh' comments ...
This just in...

I read a news account of Mr.Saddams' 1st day in court,  and was inspired to learn that it was CENSORED by the military!  The statement "Bush is a criminal"  was reported indirectly , not off of the video of the hearing.  Looks like the independent media will have to hire Iraqi lip readers to get the whole story.  Maybe the U.S. does'nt want to have Mr.Saddam tell the stories of long ago, whether it be his career start with the C.I.A., or getting to know Rummy personally while being supplied with nerve gas for the Iranian War.  Saddam could have plenty of company in the hot seat...

__More Hot Bowling for Bush
Just returned Tinseltown and viewing Michael Moore's latest...Made us wait in a Disney like switchback line. Crowd got rowdy. "Hey, this is America. We paid for seats not to stand in line." One guy from South India said, "This reminds me of back home." Huge theatre, packed with anti-Bushes In Jacksonville [Florida]. The audience actually applauded in a number of places which were particularly anti-war. IN JAX!
Got home to No electricity JEB [Dubya's bro; Gov. of the Sunshine State] Musta cut off power to get revenge.

And thanks for sending us this cool July 4th salute!

Create fireworks!!

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So much Chaos,
So little time.

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