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Friday, February 27, 2004
And the envelope please...Ok...I see that the Oscar for the Freshchaos best blog of the Moment goes to AndrewSullivan.com. Check it out.


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Tuesday, February 24, 2004
There is much political freshchaos as we enter the Easter Season of self flagellation and bunnies a hoppin'. Today, President George W. Bush says he will back a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Well, good for him. The Bushmeister is so self-righteously t-i-r-i-n-g and there are so many more days and nights to endure before the big election day. So much for Dick Cheney's gay daughter's wedding plans.

Our fair and dis-enchanted state made the headlines for allowing, then disallowing 'official marriage certificates' for same sex couples. It is ok to have a war and to support the killing/maiming of so many people, but not ok for gays to officially marry? No, of course not. Sorry, the surrealism of the whole Bush administration is simply t-i-r-i-n-g. Next up, abortion rights.

Mark Fiore is a San Francisco cartoonist and animator whose work also appears in the Washington Post, L.A. Times and other publications. Here is a sadly hilarious cartoon of his entitled, The Gay Agenda.

On this FAT Tuesday, I just made a bundle of fake money by selling off my shares in The Passion of Christ at The Hollywood Stock Exchange. Gibson's movie opens tomorrow in Aramaic/Latin with subtitles and a very bloody crown of thorns on good old Ash Wednesday. Can't wait to see the gore, feel the pain, and give praise for movie popcorn.

I was an early fan of The Hollywood Stock Exchange website and have over the years ('millenniums' in internet time), run up a portfolio of $3,411,637.72 !! Today's big sale netted me a tax-free-and-fake $35,731.11...HSX.com remains a FREE and FUN thing to do on the net. If that pile of MOOLAH was only real, I might run out and buy all of the Sex and the City dvds.



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Sunday, February 22, 2004
Two b-a-d things: Sex and the City just ended and Ralph Nader is running for President.


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Saturday, February 21, 2004
Heather Wilson gets 'thumbs down' in NEWSWEEK (2/23/04 issue)...You may have read about her right here a few days back. I was ranting about Heather's ranting both on CNN and Bill Maher's show, and this week, she is panned in Newsweek's Conventional Wisdom column. Here's the big thumbs down retort: "N.M. rep's rabid tongue-lashing of CBS Exec makes Janet's boob seem like Al Queda. Get a grip."
Newsweek Magazine


It's a delightfully rainy Saturday in High Desert country. One of very few rainy days this millennium. Good for Bob Dylan music and crossword puzzles or curled up cats and dogs. Gotta go run naked in the rain.

Speaking of running naked, Neil Young comes to town one week from today. There's great article in the latest Wired Magazine about Neil and his rock opera-esque Greendale touring show. Can't wait to see my favorite rock mega star and his Crazy Horse/Greendale crew. O.K. now I really have to go run naked in the rain.


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Friday, February 20, 2004
Happy New Moon preceded of course by the DARK of the moon.
Perhaps that transition has added to our freshchaos perspective of this morning's news stories... Stocks are way down, Sex in the City ends this weekend, Friends ends in May, Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire was originally written as an advertising jingle about a 'hemorrhoid relief product'...

There's more bad news for Howard - Howard, Wisconsin that is: A man and woman stored their guns and ammo in their oven during their family vacation, and on their return... DOH!! They forgot about this, until bullets popped off with their first home cooked meal...

Turns out that Bishop O'Brien of Phoenix, Arizona and recent hit and run fame, had another hit and run just a year prior to the famous fatal one (this news was barred from his jurors who found him guilty as sin anyway)...

Mel Gibson's P of Christ rises from the Dead Critics Pile this weekend, just as Mel's father once again announces to the world that the Holocaust was mostly a 'made up' story. By the way, Mel's next movie is all about 'fathers' or rather about someone like him being a father to a bunch of sons. Supposedly, a light comedy. Co-producer claims that had to be about family of sons as daughters are not funny...

More news: As an all female 'Krewe of Muses' passed by in a Mardi Gras parade (in Naaawlins, a-course) a parade of bullets killed one and injured three. (What happens if you 'shout FIRE' on a crowded street?)

Spike Lee has a new movie about a 'sperm donator' called, She Hate Me...Spike never learned to read or how to conjugate. Conjugate, Baby, conjugate.

And in cyberspace newz a website devoted to Hate Crime (preventing it, that is) is highly supported by one Republican VP's daughter who, I dare say, is a thespian...er, a L_E_S_B_I_A_N... The site is called DearMary.com. Unca W, please don't invent that constitutional amendment banning same sex marriages now, ya hear?

I call it Santa Flush and admit to being quite Santa-phobic, but... Santa Fe, N.M. calls itself the City Different and in a screening of Touched, a new movie by Laurel Chiten, over half the audience in Santa Fe raised their hands in positive response to the question, "How many of you have had contact with aliens?"

So, don't forget to floss, check the appliances for ordnance, phone home if you are ET, and have a great Happy New Moon sort of weekend.


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Thursday, February 19, 2004
Be the first on your block to try out our brand spanking new FRESHCHAOS FORUM!

And as if that's not enough oh-so-fresh-chaos for one day, listen up, Beatles' fans...here's a difficult choice...pick any five Beatle albums as your all time favorites on our new poll at the right side of your screen. Undoubtedly, The White Album (aka:The Beatles) has to be up there somewhere but there are so many and most from a very short period of time. Have some fun now...


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Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Coming around the bend it's John Kerry at #1, John Edwards taking #2, and Push em back push em back waaaay back Howard Dean finishing the Wisconsonian primary caucasian at a distant third.

'Winless' in 17 caucuses and primaries (does the term 'winless' equal LOSER?), Howard Dean ends his campaign for the presidential nomination and launches a new "campaign for change" within the Democratic Party to keep his issues alive.

Commander Deano shattered Democratic fundraising records with $41 million collected in a single year and then gaped all over himself with a high-octane instantly classic non-concession speech on the night of the Iowa caucus. He has been called the political equivalent of a 'supernova'. Once a long-shot candidate, he emerged for a short time at the head of the crowded Democratic field. He defined the Democratic debate (and now perhaps the very platform of the Dems) through his unwavering criticism of President Bush and the Iraq war.

Dean's blunt speaking style and full-throated opposition to the Iraq war - at a time when almost all of the other major contenders were trying to explain their support for it - gave him an edge. He was even 'blessed' by His Holiness, Pope Al Gore, all to no avail. One sound bite of The Rebel Yell tumbled his wash and hung it out to dry, sheets a flappin'.

This just in::> High Desert Sports Retort:
Katie Hnida, the only female football player ever on the University of Colorado football team who now plays for the UNM Lobos as a placekicker, has reported that she was raped by a teammate while at CU. Allegations of rape by CU footballers are piling up. Meanwhile, Katie has done very well with the Lobos. Here's to hoping that all has fared well in her personal life since moving to the Albuquerque environs.



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Monday, February 16, 2004
This (actual) Spam just in:
From: "Jacalyn"
Date: Sun., 15 Feb 2004 12:12::02 00700
To: "twntxkbfkrl@yahoo.com"
Subject: education

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Degdree verificsation and official tracnscripts provided when requested by emplsoyers and otshers authsorized by the grdaduate.dConfiwdentiality asssured.Cnall this numfber: 1-2a12-2048-45v51 (24 hourwrs a dasy 7 dasys a week) Wle will brerak doswn the wa1ll that has hefld your earpning poewer bpack.
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Happy President's Day!
Thank God no child is left behind. President's Day means so much more to me than George W. Bush or the associates I have lost by my staunch criticism of THE MAN.

As a many-yeared school teacher (er, 'Educator'), President's Day was simply that much-needed long weekend that may or may not propel you effortlessly through the long Lenten/Spring season before some kind of Easter Bunny relief hops on in. With better weather and each week moving you closer to summer vacation, P Day meant students had come far enough along to accept the routines and daily hardships of learning thrown at them, but mostly it meant that with each passing week the very idea of routines and daily hardships of learning sucked.

In a round about way President's Day reminds me of my three best weeks as a writer. I was one of seven Ferlinghetti Fellows chosen to spend days and evenings with the true Master Poet and Teacher, (a rare combination) Lawrence Ferlinghetti. My time at the at the Atlantic Center for the Arts in 1984 will always be a personal treasure of mine no one can tarnish or steal.

Interesting... so what the #!% does this have to do the oh-so-sacred President's Day?
It all took place in New Smyrna Beach, Florida (a coastal town near Daytona Beach).
Oh, I see.
OK. So it's a stretch but the Daytuna 500 takes place on President's Day Weekend. And though I didn't attend I was close by at least for that year's Daytuna 500.

And this Year even the great and wonderful George W Bushmeister attended the race; in fact he 'started' it before retiring for cocktails with his brother The Gov. of the Sunshine State. This year's 'big voter' is apparently the NASCAR Dad. Yeah right. Well sir, W's staffers must agree.

So there you go, and, if you go there, then you go round and round 500 times with seagulls and race cars blowing by amidst beer and bikinis. Happy President's Day and leave no child behind with his or her Nascar Dad.


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If Apocalypse Now is not recorded/produced in DTS sound on DVD; then why in Buddha's name is Lost in Translation? 'Cuz it is made by the daughter of the great Coppola? Well, maybe. Lots of great surround sound taxi cabs are not lost in the translation but the rest of the movie is Lost in boring jet-lagged nothingness amidst a Tokyo Hoteliers' dream is more like it.
Maybe I something happened when I dozed off. I love old Mister Bill. There've been so many movies that he wasn't nominated for an Oscar Wilde. Why now this movie? 'Cuz it is made by the daughter of the great Coppola? Oh Yeah.
Then there is my favorite Valentiney movie that was totally panned by all reviewers, Intolerable Cruelty. Funny, sexy, intelligent, with something to say and to laugh at. Critics HATED IT. I suppose that's why I enjoy shopping the bins at Wal*Mart. The unpopular movies 'on sale' are just my style.


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Saturday, February 14, 2004
Sen. John Kerry continues his seemingly-unstoppable march to the Democratic
presidential nomination with wins in Nevada and the District of Columbia.

Need a friend, try , the latest site for fun in the casual online dating game.

Way to go O-H-I-O...I mean Dallas...Most snow in 26 years piled up this weekend. Now that's a Texas snow job for shoe-ah.


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Happy St. Valentine's Day to Pete and Heather
There's a new man in our town, Dr.Nelson who is running against the all-powerful and oh-so-mighty-mousey, Heather Wilson. Heather is all over national tv this week (C-span/CNN/Real Time with Bill Maher) screaming about Janet Jackson's breast exposure and defending W's National Guard service (or lack there of) record. You go girl. She can really get into a lather. And a good lather, can be good.
Our best wishes to the good Doctor Nelson who (we pray for miracles like deadheads crying out for tickets) is going to have a pretty tough time bringing down Ms. Wilson's Pete Domenici-esque regime.


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Happy St. Valentines Day to Pete and Heather
There's a new man in our town, Dr.Nelson who is running against the all powerful and oh-so-mighty-mousey Heather Wilson. Heather ia all over national tv (CNN/Real Time with Bill Maher) this week screaming about Janet Jackson's breast exposure and defending W's National Guard service (or lack there of) record. You go girl. She can really get into a lather. And a good lather, can be good.
Our best wishes to the good Doctor Nelson who (we pray for miracles like deadheads crying out for tickets) is going to have a pretty tough time bringing down Ms. Wilson's Pete Domenici-esque regime.


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Thursday, February 12, 2004
This just in -> The Lord of the Right Wing. Make sure you have your volume turned on. Smoke em if ya got em...this site takes a momento to loado, Frodo.






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Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Today's Spam Review revealed the following Dada-esque subject lines that made it through our filter:
gusty conjoint cinder
prothonotary delegate
finite buckeye consume
her deuterate fruition context


And my fave ...
fig rhine capacitor cordite

And happy news: Erse Q. Organizational has credited the refund vHwF - now if I could just figure out what vHwF means, then ...


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So much for Clarkus Malarkus. Today, he officially bags it and goes back to golf and speech lessons.
So at this moment in time, would you vote for Kerry et al or Bush? Click a response on our poll to the right. It's fun, it's FREE, and it's so North American.


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Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Jorma at the 'Taos Solar Fest'
Summer '03


Another moment in my personal music histoire was had last night watching and listening to one of the guitar god musical mastres Jorma Kaukonen and his partner in acoustic crime, Jack Cassidy, of Hot Tuna. Though our local Sunshine Theater wasn't as much fun as last summer's outdoor venue , the Taos Solar Festival, it is always a pleasure to bask in the music of masters. Rousing versions of Embryonic Journey, I see the Light, and Good Shepherd were among my favs. Jack is beginning to look a lot like Richard Belzer of "Homicide" fame. He is still a 'King of Bass'-not the fish. Acoustic guitar is super duper but I do wish they'd do ONE non-acoustic (ie: E_L_E_C_T_R_I_C ) set sometime.


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Monday, February 09, 2004
Al Franken, Satirist , Political Commentator, and 1973 Graduate of Harvard, was a very apt speaker for this week's UNM 21st Century Speaker Series. He has come a long way since I last saw him in the early '80's. Still very funny with a dry sense of humor keyed into his parlance and timing..."Me...Al Franken"...is still a comedian's comedian and he now stands with a well-aged doggedness to speak his truth and to 'fight the powers'.

Franken was introduced by multiple Emmy Award winning writer, Digby Wolfe a UNM professor. Wolfe was an original writer for Rowan and Martin's Laugh In. Both Wolfe and Franken made much of the fact that the next speaker in this 21st Century series is Ann Coulter. Wolf received mighty applause for his comments about Ms. Coulter, "To be fair and balanced, Ann Coulter gets time here next. Does this mean that everytime we have Riverdance at UNM, in order to be 'fair and balanced', do we have to present a dance group that only uses the upper half of its dancers' bodies?"

Franken was a bit more hard-lined in his approach regarding Ms. Coulter. It is painful to listen to her but worth it, he says. He stated that those present should buy tickets to her upcoming show and 'shock the shit out of her' by attending. As much as this sort of thing is right up my alley , I'll pass on Ann Coulter and instead, buy Franken's book all about Coulteresque characters: Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: a Fair and Balanced Look at the Right.

Franken spoke at length about the failed Fox Broadcasting System lawsuit against him for his use of the so called trademarked Fox News slogan "Fair and Balanced". "Satire is protected by free speech even if the object of the satire 'doesn't get it'". It is OK to use a trademarked slogan/phrase if anyone of the following four things are present in your usage: Irony, Allusion, Ambiguity, or Word Play. Apparently , Franken used all four in reference to the lawsuit which was 'literally laughed out of court' and deemed 'wholey without merit' by the presiding judge.

Recently before a speech in Manhattan, Kansas, Franken was warned by students that the college crowd there was very right-winged and that he might want to alter his format/subject matter. Ignoring this, he proceeded as usual and was surprised to find that the entire audience actually was very anti-Bush even in the heart of Kansas.

He feels that never in his life has he witnessed how united our country was immediately following 911. He states that 'Our President had the opportunity to lead us into an American Century with mutual goals and mutual sacrifice' toward a more peaceful world which hopefully would never see another 911. Not only were we united , many other world countries were 'for us' as well. 'Our President blew it', he states. Not only that but 'Bush asked nothing from the 1% of the richest in the nation except to be alert'. There is a current of anger now that crosses many boundaries. "And this guy calls himself a Christian...'No Child Left Behind' is the most ironically named policy since 1942's 'Japanese Family Leave Act'. Orange means you can still go to the shopping malls. Red means you must shop online!"

In two weeks, Franken will receive the keys to the City of Manchester, NH for what is now being called , his 'body slam' against a noisy protester at a recent Howard Dean rally. On March 31st, Al Franken's new radio show hits the airwaves. His 'voice' has always been key to his humor and radio seems a natural thing to follow. He may even call Rush Limbaugh for a few pointers. "I'd ask Rush if it is possible for me to do 'drug free radio'", he says. Though he is foregoing a chance to run for the Presidency in '08, Franken, a Minnesota Native, is strongly considering running for the Senate in that state.

Random Franken Quotations from the evening:

The Simpsons is the greatest show ever on television.
Ari Fleischer is a chimp!
By the way, anything I am using in my book, I got from British Intelligence.
This election is the most important since 1968.
The Bush People are all about destroying you. The only thing that can get them is us.



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Sunday, February 08, 2004
We are off this evening to take in the sights and sounds of one Al Franken. I was able to see him years ago in the eighties. He was 'just a comedian' back then. Tonight, he is just Al Franken. Interestingly enough even I have registered my own domain name, JeffHartzer.com, mostly because I didn't want that domain name to go to anyone BUT me. Apparently Al Franken, famous though he is, did not avail himself of buying his own name's cyberspace realty, cuz if you go to Al Franken dot com, you sure don't get anything about 'Al'.


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The Spammer of the week is (I am not making this up) ... Chechnya I. Slenderized
Also in this week's spam jam was the following subject line: Make your love MUSCLE grow! Ah, such subtlety. If it seems as if our culture is all breasts and penises, that's because it is!


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Friday, February 06, 2004
According to our favorite high desert astrologist Cynthia Hess, today should be a hyper/superlative day for us all. "Mars springs into Taurus," she reports, "bringing a cycle of material ambition when our thoughts are centered on financial security, career opportunities, and building investments." She continues, " ...the full moon reaches a peak in Leo highlighting leadership, ambition, and independence. Creative and artistic imaginations reach their heights and love is in the air. Mercury enters Aquarius reinforcing freedom of expression and individuality".

Holy Crapola, Batman, we gots to get going! Happy full moon TGIF



A number of our international agents of freshchaos have heartfeltedly supported THE DEAN in the primary/caucus events through this day. None of them has shone brighter lights of optimism/support for Howard Dean than our Albuquerque political stringer, Captain Marcus. Today he writes a pretty darn good summation of THE DEAN situation as it stands::>

The last few days of the campaign were quite the grinder for the Dean effort. I cannot remember, in recent history, such a pilliored candidate on the national scene. I was amazed, at first, with the hostility from the Party people, whom had publicly stated neutrality up to the primary.

It was quite clear that Dean was a threat to many status quos', and that included the current Democratic Party. This is a party which has lost sight of its' roots, at the leadership level, and really does not want full participation in the political process, even at the local level. Kerry
became the vehicle by which this status quo would manifest its' dominance, and put an end to the reform efforts put forth by Dean.

"The Monopolistic Murdoch Media" was very influential in conveying the impression of Dean as an unstable man, liable to pop off any time. Well, we can't have someone like that in office, especially when it comes to national security issues, can we?. He had passion, and , yes, he had anger about the direction that our country is taking in so many areas. One has to ask why there is no anger about the deception with Iraq, no anger about the continued environmental
dedgregation, or anger about our health care system.

When we begin to lose our sense of outrage about what happens to us, or around us, then we
are losing our essence as a nation. That outrage has fueled many movements in the past (abolitionism, civil rights, voting rights, and equal rights), and is the only way that real change has occured in our country.

At some point, I hope that Kerry decides to become passionate about the state of our nation, with help from the Dean people. It will be what sustains him through this long march, and brings along many Dean supporters, too. Long ago, I had leanings towards Kerry as the one, but he
couldn't convey any rationale for his candidacy. It's called "fire in the belly", and it's what keeps a candidate strong as he is attacked for his views and beliefs.

[Kerry must] Be ready to say, without hesitiation, that he believes the promise of America is slipping away from more people, and is fading from the view of the rest of the world. From there, state, with passion and optimism, a different path for our nation that will reverse this course
of action/inaction. I hope the best for him, especially for the sake of
our country. It's a long time before the 'Lection...


Thanks for checking in with us Captain Marcus .

In other non-Janet's-breast-developments, if you are a dog owner, you'll enjoy reading our new SKIPPERTOWN GLOSSARY in which we try to give creedence in words to our Three Schipiteers' complete and daily sense of freshchaos.


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Thursday, February 05, 2004
It had to happen sooner or later...Just as GOOGLE is about to have its IPO as a publicly traded company, along comes this incredulous search engine for all things A-D-U-L-T...



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If you are a dog owner you just might enjoy reading our new SKIPPERTOWN GLOSSARY.


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One of our favorite Holiday gifts (appreciated doubly by us and by our Siamese Fighting Fish) is Mister Mysterioso seen here keeping an eye out for all the latest freshchaos!



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Why shouldn't GAYS be granted a lawful marriage ceremony? Well, why should they? Certainly, to be a rising issue for the fall elections (D-U-H !). And speaking of rising issues, the very vision of DA BEARS MIKE DITKA having a HUGE hard on freaks me out enough to never go near a Levitra pill. And, as mentioned here months ago, what's up with that weird 'penis pinching Levitra logo' anyway?

The latest Beano from Deano::> "The entire race has come down to this: we must win Wisconsin. Anything less will put us out of this race." Sigh. Yawn. Amerika hates you for that one scene played over and over. Forget that you are the only candidate who might actually make some positive changes if elected. FO-get-a-BOUT-it; You're SCREWED.

Meanwhile Uncle W, says his prayers (sounded more like a speach) at a prayer breakfast with the wireless microphone getting jammed by the evil CIA into sounding a lot like automatic gunfire. Thank you 'CNN Headline News' for capturing/displaying this ironic moment of freshchaos. KA-pow-EE. DUCK-n-COVER.

Sign a petition to ease the angst of Hawaiian's who are outraged at the name Dodge has chosen for its latest concept 'surfer suv', the KAHUNA. The word Kahuna means priest or shaman. Or, what the heck, it could mean the latest in a long line of surfer suv's. The not-so-new 'what the heck let's all show our breasts' attitude for life on the digital planet seems to be prevailing world wide so why not let it prevail in the car/truck/suv market. Frankly, I'd rather drive the only-available-in-blackChevrolet 'Priest' to work. Maybe even drive it straight into a wall at high speed. Damn that 'Priest'...So here's The Big so-called-for-now- KAHUNA:



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Wednesday, February 04, 2004
This just in ::>...SNOWFALL AMOUNTS OF 1O TO 20 INCHES FELL AT HIGH ELEVATIONS OVER NEARLY ALL MOUNTAINS OF NORTHERN NEW MEXICO. IN BETWEEN THE HEAVY SNOW OVER THE NORTH AND SOUTH...A SURGE OF DRY AIR SHUT DOWN THE SNOW-MAKER OVER CENTRAL NEW MEXICO...INCLUDING THE ALBUQUERQUE AREA...WHERE ONLY ABOUT AN INCH FELL OVER THE FAR NORTHEAST PART OF THE CITY... BASTARDS!

Latest 'dreams of a white February 3rd', QUASHED in our fair city. All around us though are white mountains and the Spring fire danger lowered by a millimeter perhaps. Oh yeah, our freshchaos radical prediction yesterday of a Kerry victory in the Land of Enchantment proved to be oh so true.


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Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Old but good news...
Good times were had by all who attended the AirDance ArtSpace open house this past weekend. After three years of renovations, Saturday night brought us the joys of a parking lot filled to capacity; no left over fresh shrimp (note to self: MORE cocktail sauce next time!) and a 6300 square foot facility ALIVE with shiny happy people having fun on a Saturday night. Along with trapeze demonstrations and a bit of "Bus Poetry", our guest artists, the delightful Buddha Betties, seen here with adoring fans, performed extraordinarily...


Children of all ages enjoy them Betties!!


Fresh news...
Our Enchanted Land is the scene of one of the Democratic Primaries (ok so they aren't primary colors albeit fancy crocuses er...caucuses) today. Freshchaos.com is already forecasting John Kerry to be today's 'wienner'. Though our fair state often bucks the trendy trends of the rest of the Nation, and who knows, it could be that Mister Kucinich will surprise us all after his rollicking FREE Dave Matthews concert rally here in Albuquerque. And, certainly The Dean is not out of the race.

And speaking of forecasts, today (which is O-Ma-God:>02/03/04) may actually bring a bit of moisture (aka precipitation) to our very dry land. So... Go Dems, Go Snowage, and Go 1,2,3,4!!!


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So much Chaos,
So little time.

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