Here and Now
Snail Mail us:
P.O. Box 25892
Albuquerque, New Mexico 87125
"Be tolerant of THE SKIPPER who disagrees with you... The Schipperke has a right to his Ridiculous Opinion."
A New Mexican Schipnic
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
ALL HAIL QUEEN MELANIE!
And the Most Honorable Duke Skipper!
Two days ago, on a sleepy Sunday morning, our illustrious Skipper was driving me fairly insane scratching around and under my bureau trying to "ferret out" our mousey freeloader. Then he put his snout and a front leg under the bureau and started to emit otherwordly sounds I have never heard before from the little furball. Suddenly, the tiny, disarmingly cute, brown rodent ran out into the middle of the room. Realizing the error of its ways, it made a sharp turn and headed for cover. Before it could duck under Jeff's bureau, Skipper slapped an authoritative paw down on the mouse's tail and then looked a little confused. I think our sweet Skipperdoodle is against the death penalty. Not so Miss Mellie.
Miss Mellie, taking a break from the great lizard hunt of '03, heard the commotion and zipped in soon after Skip's slapdown of incarceration and without hesitation (more sensitive readers should stop here) snapped her jaws around the mouse's head and killed it quick and mercifully with two deft shakes of her head. Wow! Simultaneously impressed and disgusted, I then had to convince our little girl to let go her lifeless prize just as Jordan came in finally ready for a piece of the action - if not a piece of the mouse.
The moral of this story? If you want something done well, then leave it to the bitch!
Friday, August 22, 2003
How have we been dealing with the unrelenting heat and drought? Hunting! Whaaa?!
Recently we've had an explosion of new life here. Finally assured that the wicked cat was indeed gone, the hoppers of Bunnytown did their thing and blessed us with six adorable bunnies. (Is there any other kind?) Like magic a new feral cat appeared on the scene and Air Jordan went NUTS! (More than usual, that is.) Although said wild feline has already been captured and sent to jail, Jordan is still on high alert and has taken to chasing birds and leaping over everything, including our dear Miss Mellie. True to form, Melanie moved not a muscle and simply sighed afterward.
Meanwhile, Melstrom is after the family of tiny lizards who have set up camp in one of my flower gardens. The little guys are rather cute in a reptilian sort of way and even faster than our great huntress. However, Mel O'Drama caught one by the tail today and proudly displayed ... a little blue tail and nothing else. I swear her gaze said, "Hey, no fair! I didn't know they could do that. Ugh ... scaley." Needless to say, the flowers are the only real victims.
While the great Skipperdoodle has been minimally involved in the cat chases, he seems most interested in being chased, not being caught, and then being rewarded with a treat. However, he is now on the trail of a mouse, although he is rather frustrated that he can't get to it and that the two young-uns won't help. Three Schippeteers and only one mouser?!
And I, the literally thin-skinned slave to The Three, am being hunted by bugs! West Nile Virus has arrived in the high desert, where the two species of mosquito that carry the thing are not as rare as one might think. Official-type folks advise us to wear long sleeves, long pants, and socks outside. Sure! It was a mere 98 degrees today. Guess I'll just curl up with the Great Black Hunters in front of the fan. Aaahhh ...
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Call it what you will:Back to School DAZE, Dog Days of Summer, Post War DAZE... the crowds at Wallie World, out on the road, at home, or abroad, ALL seem to be a bit STRESSED OUT!!
If you think you are a bit stressed...Take this DOLPHIN STRESS TEST.
On Sunday the Discovery Channel opened this year's Shark Week with Anatomy of a Shark Attack, which was fascinating, graphic, bizarre, and undoubtedly equipped with a monstrous budget. It got us thinking of the shark's closest land relative ... the SCHIPPERKE! And so we present ...
WARNING: The following will require you to use your imagination and humor. If you have neither, then why are you reading about schipperkes?!
When LBDs Attack: The Story of the Three Schippeteers!
The Miss Mellie Incursion is, of course, the deadliest of the schip attack styles. It starts innocently enough with front paws on the couch. She ascends and bombards her victim with enormous Bambi eyes. In rapid succession one is hit with a slight wheeze, the rollover, and the stare. On to the crawl with ears back, followed by that unique sigh-moan-wheeze thing. And then the final blow: the paw! The damage: hands cramp, time disappears, fur everywhere. The victim sees it all coming, but is overcome by paralyzing, unrelenting cuteness!
The Jordan Assault, by contrast, is quick and obvious, combining speed, grace, impressive leaps, and uncommon balance, followed by hours of tenacious snuggling. The victim is powerless, unable to wrestle with the force field which allows Jordan to defy the laws of physics and stay firmly rooted to one's lap. While it all seems harmless, the possibility of nerve damage after hours of cuddling with a 25-pound "lap dog" is all too real!
The Skipper Offensive is the most cunning of all the schip attack styles - and the most feared! It is subtle and maddening. To grapple with the great Skipdip is to risk nothing less than total insanity! He approaches slowly, head bent down. He reaches his target and beams adoration from magic, green orbs. After a short petting, he trots away. How sweet. But soon he peeks around the corner, a sly grin playing about his lips. Just as you reach him, off he goes! The chase is on! Suddenly, he stops and starts to sing and dance. Adorable. Entertaining. You reward him with a biscuit. He drops it. You pick it up and offer it again. He trots away with it. He returns almost immediately with a sheepish grin. He has you now! You find the biscuit. You pet him. He sings. You give him the biscuit. He finally eats it. You walk away. He follows!
You turn ... and then it begins all over again!
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country,
but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
Our History with Schips!
Blog Directory for Albuquerque, New Mexico