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Saturday, May 31, 2003
Easing on into the wee hours of a Saturday night in MOTH-ville, New Mexico, we are at this moment under a
CODE YELLOW ALERT. Time to get off the bus and pee or perhaps to not slow down as the light goes to RED. Yellow...such a color. Bananas. Sunshine. OK, already.

New Mexico is at its worst in Spring. And that's not bad at all for 'worst'. But there are the days when the wind blows and the dust grows. Then there are times, which seem to be fairly annually since about the time that the first Resident Bush went to Iraq when MOTHS attack!.

OK they don't really attack, they just hang out all over the place especially where a lamp, a light , a candle shines . They love candles. They really love those tall tilty halogen cheapo lamps . Not one or two moths, we're talking six or seven , maybe on a good night eight a light bulb. If you are smarter than they, and you are able to get 'em all to go to just one light in your house (somewhere hopefully away from the bedroom) you can suck them all up in a vacuum cleaner!!

You just haven't lived until you suck up moths! THEY CALL IT SMELLO YELLOW....

And plan on throwing away your entire vacuum cleaner ( or simply utilize your Handy Dandy Heavy Duty garagerator vacu-suck machine, cuz the moths' wings have scales that become the toughest little dust motes in the planet's history. If your dog or cat goes into offensive mode on the flying dust mote scumbags, albeit CAT or DOG, they will spit out and sneeze out a lot of freshchaos for sure. Be wary.

Thank the powers for our NEW MOON...following the second dark of the moon in a single month, with two eclipses to boot, May was no picnic. Perhaps though for you, it twas a Merry Moth err...MONTH. Frankly, I am happy to have lived through it successfully, and I am hopeful that when tomorrow dawns, the coffee machine will be perking mightily into the month of June.



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Friday, May 30, 2003
Jethro Tull says...It's a new day yesterday...and that's about where I am in time this warm almost June eve in Albuquerque. TGIF!!
Happy dark of the moon or, to those of you who see the glass as 'half full'... Happy New Moon!! And happy second eclipse in May quite an unusual night of the year here in 'burqueville.
Chances are good that wherever you are, you too, are having the same eclipse and new or dark moon.
So there. Enjoy. And ahoogah boogah...

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Thursday, May 29, 2003
I am a long time Mac kind of dude. I am 'blogging' today with a new eMac computer that FORCES me to go ahead and try new things with new names thus throwing me out of my 9.1 rut. A graduation of sorts...just in time for summer breakage. Bravo to 'Jaguar' (and it is not a football team) and the OSX system.
Well, I guess.

Why is it I like to shop at Thrift Stores so much...cuz stuff is already broken in. This new keyboard is SO WHITE it scares me. Causes me to be v-e-r-y careful about what I am typing. Perhaps this will cause the words at to bloom a bit more poetic and to ooze with luxurious hues and sunset tones.
Or not.
Interesting that the bundled OSX software doesn't even include ANY versions of Netscrape. Not 4.7 not 7. whatever...just Exploder. Quite a Jobesian salute to his cronies or enemies in the MSN camp.

Well it's off to iTunes or iMovies or iSomethings. Let's see what this baby will do on the interstate err..internet...Millions of colors for nakedness and things...Ooh baby.

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This just in...
When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks.

The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people: "What are these guys in the big suits doing?" One of the astronauts said that they were practicing for a trip to the moon.

When his son relayed this comment the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give to the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon. Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts said, "Why certainly!" and told an underling to get a tape recorder.

The Navajo elder's comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said. The son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously. But he refused to translate.

So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly but also refused to translate the elder's message to the moon.

Finally, an official government translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing the translator relayed the message: "Watch out for these guys. They have come to steal your land."

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Sunday, May 25, 2003
At last a bit of rain lands in our High Desert Country. Of course, it coincides with the big picnic-camping-boating and, oh yeah, memorializing the soldiers weekend. Appropriate. We'll take the smell of rain followed by RAIN anytime here in High Desert Territory.

This...just in:::>Dumb...Dumber...Dubya

Click image below to whisk yourself to a new gallery of BunnytownUSA bunnies...

BunnytownUSA:'03-Gallery 4

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Thursday, May 22, 2003


There come moments in flight

when you simply forget

when you feel the shifting

a tilt up

a silent slipping

engines throbbing

cotton clouds of cumulous silk


There come moments in flight

tray tables locked in their

upright position

when all around you

is silence within yourself

And the fuselage rushing

blasting through thin air

and simple things are a touch away

reading lights beamed on

conditioned air

breathing down


There come moments in flight

when you sense how alone you are

amidst Happy Campers

on their way to somewhere

far far away


There come moments in flight

when the flaps drop down

and all the world is tilting

tilting steep-edged

toward new realities

and landscapes unknown

known too well

Jeff Hartzer
© 1992-2003

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Wednesday, May 21, 2003
Things were looking up ^-^ there for a moment or two. Here in the High Desert, the wind has calmed down a bit . The Stock Market is looking up, Miscommunication's planet, Mercury is moving forward again, and a relaxing Memorial Day weekend seems to be in store when suddenly all goes CODE ORANGE JULIUS.

I hate it when that happens. The Wal*Mart greeters turn mean. All hell breaks loose. And we seem to forget the weird million man protests and freshBADchaos going on on in Haliburton Country (aka: that darned Iraq). All of this and the fact that, no one but no one but Prisoners and Martha Stewart have any orange outfits to don for the occasion.

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Tuesday, May 20, 2003
For all you astro-physicist-ologists today, Mercury goes out of retrograde. This should mean a clearing up of mixed communications and a faster internet. Maybe too spam will vanish from cyberspace. The wind will stop blowing in Albuquerque. Who knows, maybe Ari Fleischer will resign his post to become a neon sign.

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Saturday, May 17, 2003
Happy Armed Forces Day

Old Glory over BunnytownUSA

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"all the children are insane waiting for the summer rain"... Jim Morrison couldn't have said it better for the current dusty and weird Spring conditions of the high desert days just now. We need rain to quell the dusty dust. Jim must have written that line while attending high school in Albuquerque when his father ran things at Kirtland AFB...

Some days I just gotta listen to the getting older by the minute or dead down by the river masters of rock po-e-tree and think back to May 4th when soldiers killed four folks at Kent State. Those days seem tame now. Heck Billie Bob, kids these daze are signing up in that all volunteer military so they can be on TEEVEE in the misty spray high on carrier decks where presidents with bulging balls manage to land in fighter jets without puking before waving to the world.

By the Way...our BOY PRES W is running again for President. What a shock...jumped headlong surprisingly and officiously into the race yesterday. Blow winds blow. Eat dust Albuquerque...Think I'll join in with "all the children [who] are insane waiting for the summer rain"...

capnchaos and Jim
Paris 2000

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Thursday, May 15, 2003
Tonight's sunset herald's a full moon lunar the moment there are torrential winds blowing desert real estate across our sky (weather alert states:WIND ADVISORY FOR NEW MEXICO THIS AFTERNOON AND EVENING... WEST TO SOUTHWEST SUSTAINED WINDS WILL AVERAGE BETWEEN 30 AND 40 MPH WITH GUSTS OF 50 TO 55 MPH INTO THIS EVENING...BEFORE DIMINISHING AFTER SUNSET. So we'll see how visible la luna is come the dusky dusk.

Lunar Eclipse

Recently saw Bob Weir and Rat Dog at what is Albuquerque's Armpit of the Arts, The Sunshine Theater. The acoustics were horrible. The beer and smoke overflowed and the three inches of rice paddy like liquid flowing through the upstairs bathroom diminished the greatness of this event. Sadly, this will also be the venue forZiggy Marley next month. Last week Ziggy was on Dave Letterman; next month he'll wade through the rice paddy. The Sunshine Theater is badly in need of a remake or at least a bit of paint and plumbing repair. If it was all nice and pretty maybe so much alcohol would not be sold. Or maybe even more would be sold to happier guests.

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Sunday, May 11, 2003
Happy Mother's day...

This one is for you Mom...

In a private place of trees

I am alive
for me
and for you
I am alive that I may breathe
and eat sweet cookies
And though
I am not a bird
I am alive that I may fly
to love the art of flying
And love the way
the earth breathes
and is alive
in this private place of trees

I am alive and today
I leave you behind
in all of your private places
while I begin my climb walking right up
through these trees on this rope ladder to the sky
I walk right up
from the arms of this earth
bare tree limbs calling to Spring
I walk right up
from the earth that moves beneath you
like a giant sleeping bear
about to awaken from sleep

I am alive
and I climb right up
from your opened arms
into the breath of this perfect sky

Jeff Hartzer
© 1995-03

for Dorothy C. Hartzer

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Saturday, May 10, 2003
Tornadoes are the most freshchaos this weekend. For the latest storm predicitions in your area check the Storm Prediction Center.

For years after first seeing The Wizard of Oz, I had Tornado Dreams. Finally, one night I realized 'it was just a dream' and in the dream, I touched the actual 'dream tornado' . It turned sparkly white and vanished. I am sure there are thousands in 'tornado alley' wishing it was all 'just a dream'...


He says
A tornado is coming
I don't see it?
Do you see it?
Let's have a drink

He is crying
He is always crying
A tornado is coming
he says
Do you see it?
Let's have a drink
Get under the stairs
he says
I think he's crazy
A tornado is coming
he says
Let's have a BIG drink
He's crying again
He's always crying

A tornado is coming
and I am the only one who sees it
Why me ?
Always me
I always see it
It is coming across the trees
It is coming across the water
I see it
Can you see it?

A tornado is coming
It is swirling like vinegar in a bottle

It is swirling like water down the drain
It is swirling like a snake under my bed

A tornado is coming
I see it
Why can't you see it?

Look Mom !
Look Dad !
A tornado is coming
Get under the stairs
I'll save you
Can't you see it?
A tornado...

Jeff Hartzer

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Tuesday, May 06, 2003
I have decided that for the rest of my life I will raise Alpacas as well as bunnies. Or maybe I will be content as 'Executive Director' of the Largest aerial dance black box theater this side of the Rio Grande. Life is good when you've had six cups of coffee...

Got a new camp chair that is oh so sweet. Sweeter though is this shrewd capnchaos marketing ploy #47... A Yoga Mat BAG costs $19.00 at your neighborhood Target. A camp chair with a bag is $ you can either get a free chair with a Yoga Mat BAG for 4.99 or a free Yoga Mat BAG with a chair for $4.99...or you can be a Target nerd and BUY a real Yoga Mat BAG for $19.00 and not get a camp chair at all...OMmmmmm... Do the fuzzy math. Groove on.

Hey nice socks that Boy Pres W had on under his flight suit the other day. But perhaps you were too stuck looking at his ballet style cod piece to notice the hideous socks. Man, what a Package on our Boy Pres W ...No wonder his approval rating is soaring...Super Warrior to the Stars. Victory is sweet. Sweet crude and free antiquities for all.

And Sweet Jesus...What complete dweeb-a-saurs ALL 47 of the Democratic Early Riser Runners for the 2004 Presidential Campaign are. Elections 2004...too soon to call? Looks like Boy Pres W by a landslide. Sad. And if things start to droop a bit for Boy Pres W , he can always kick ass some more with them rag-tag-heads in the desert wastelands. There be lots more fish to fry/ deserts to fly/ my oh my...should have been a song writer. We are like, SO VICTORIOUS.

Capn Chaos's fav NEW band which is far from NEW:Widespread Panic!!!. They have a failry new cd out called, Ball, and enjoyed a recent gig on PBS' Austin City Limits. They'll be doing a two-night-under-the-stars-stand at Santa Fe's Paolo Soleri this July. This outdoor venue is a part of the Santa Fe Indian School. Oddly the website "" is available...snap it up you webber dudes...

More music news and views...The new Ringo Starr cd kind of bites used bananas but he and his All Stars are coming to one of New Mexico's many new Native American red white and blue Casinos and I don't wanna miss seeing a Beatle. I can die after accomplishing that 'life goal'. And Ringo knows that "all I want is trust and you know, it don't come easy! dah...dah...dah. " Rock on dudes and may magical mysteries abound for all.

Next week it's Bob Weir And Ratdog in Albuquerque to soothe that even-better-than-the-Grateful- Dead-fixin' to die mood. Albuquerque is a hot spot for NUKES and Dead Heads alike it seems. We got a whole mountain of atomic bombs (not those hot red Fireballs) out by the airport. It is nicknamed, The Hole by the men and ladies of the 898 Munitions Squadron at Kirtland AFB. I like their motto: Forty feet closer to Hell. If we can't kill it, it doesn't need to be dead.
So GO ISOTOPES and be Grateful we ain't Dead yet.

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Saturday, May 03, 2003
Well, I am glad for one that our President Boy-Pres W finally got to ride in the cockpit of a jet fighter plane onto the deck of an aircraft carrier for what some aviators have described as the world's largest hard-on .

Now, can we please support our troops by bringing them home to their families and neighborhood Wal-Marts?

Speaking of male prowess, an interesting email has called me to ask this question:
Do you suppose more registered Republicans or registered Democrats actually wear condoms during their sexual adventures? I would rend to favor Republicans but what do I know.

I can't see (don't wanna see) Clinton wearing one , Al Gore probably has had a 'vas'. Boy-Pres W probably carries a few with him. That flight suit he wore was certainly protecting his groin area bulgingly. 'Ribbed for her pleasure' no doubt.

So this email with the above illustration arrives announcing that the current administration has changed our National Emblem (albeit an Eagle or the Stars and Stripes) to a condom... Why did they do this you might ask?
Well Sirs, and madams...
A condom:
stands up to inflation,
halts production,
destroys the next generation,
protects a bunch of pricks ,
and, gives you a sense of security while you are actually being screwed.

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Thursday, May 01, 2003
MayDay MayDay
Rummy takes over the world under a new moon and the first day of hold-the-Mayo.

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So much Chaos,
So little time.

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