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Monday, December 30, 2002
MONDAY NIGHT CHAOS

This week Hooter's bought North Carolina's Pace Airlines.
They will call it Hooters Air. Nothing like hooters in the air to
ring in the new year. This week also marks the Third NegativeYear
in a row for The Street. This has not happened in our country since
The Great Depression. Another great advance for Dubya and pals...

By the way the Nuclear buildup in North Koreas is , according
to our astute local paper, NOT A CRISIS. I am relieved. In other
news, there are no new prisoners at Guantanamo Bay , Cuba. The CIA must
be killing terrorist folk right and left. Take No Prisoners! And
it is just so cool to have these drone remote control planes that
shoot missiles at whomever they please in the land of the cosmic proliferating
terrorists
.

Football season is in OVERKILL right now. Better get-cher fill now because the
season that began LAST SUMMER soon comes to a complete halt. We are undergoing
28 NCAA Bowl games of Cereal and the NFL Wild Card games begin shortly marching toward that great big Sou-per Bowl thingamabob.

GO LOBOS! In what seems to be a very re-current theme, the New
Mexico Loblow's lost again on National Tv at the Las Vegas  SEGA Bowl.
Big news is the place kicker is a FEMALE athlete who is the first in NCAA
history. Her first punt was blocked and the Loblows lost badly but she
scored big on the morning talk shows. She and the youngster Loblows will
return in the fall. Here's to next year. Now it's onto Basketball and sadly
the Loblows are off to a poor start.

New Year's Eve comes in under an almost 'dark of the moon'. New moon
on the second day of the New Year. An ominous time of celebration . Twas
just three shirt years ago that we were all high on the New Millennium.
I feel sorry for all the businesses that changed their name to Millennium
this or that. My wife and I went to Paris that January. All was good and
fresh and we had gallons of drinking water stored in the basement in case
of worldwide disaster. Now there's not a drop of drinking water in the
basement yet we seem perilously closer than ever to a big fat worldwide
disaster .



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Tuesday, December 24, 2002

From all of us at FRESHCHAOS.com...




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Saturday, December 21, 2002
O-Ma-God!! It's the darkest night of the year.
No wait maybe what I mean is the LONGEST night of the year. Anyway, I finally have to agree that I have placed QUITE enough twinkly little lights on this one young elm tree out front. Watched the movie, JACKSON POLLACK the other night. This young elm has become my Jackson Pollack tree of lights. I would like to learn more about POLLACK after seeing the move-eye. Meanwhile, my addiction to cheap strings of colored lights must stop.
May snow soon. Snow, rain and mudslides to the west of us and tornados to the east of us. Prevailing winds indicate though, that we are more likely to get the 'moisture' versus the tornadic vortexes for our first week of the WINTER SEASON. Albuquerque, New Mexico is indeed IN the Rockies but it is at their bottom end where the DESERT is HIGH and Gusty Winds May Exist!
For whatever reasons we get the BOX effect at Balloon Fiesta time in October. This thorectically allows balloonists to take off and land vaguely within the same area from which they took off, which is unheard of in most 'balloon places'. Thus the FAME and FORTUNE of the World's Largest Balloon Fiesta which is held right cheere.

But I digress on this , the darkest night of the year . We can all stay up late tonight. Perhaps a photograph of the Jackson Pollack Tree will appear soon. Stay tuned.


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Monday, December 16, 2002
Monday Night Chaos
Sorry no incredible entries of chaos in a day or so...our blogger connection was having technical difficulties this weekend. Maybe the folks at Blogger were too busy watching Al Franken , Al Gore, and Tipper on Saturday Night Live or maybe they were too busy whining about the New Orlean's Saints' loss by one point in the last second...(No wait, that was me.)...
If you missed SNL, it was a truly funny one almost all the way through. And Mister Gore...what a fanatic for STARDOM. I guess he will now have time for even more Hollywood stunts.

Some great folks keep sending me these crazy, weird, and hilarious links...This one is particularly freshly CHAOTIC...

It's called,
"Technical Difficulties"
.



Apparently you survived Friday the thirteenth...that day had some troubling headlines in our local newspaper...

HEADLINES RIPPED FROM THE ABQJOURNAL

WILD SNEAK PAST WINGS
Translation : Minnesota Wild beat Detroit Red wings in a hockey game
T-WOLVES DEVOUR ATLANTA
OK geeze, so those are sports headlines!

TEEN BEHEADED...CAUSE OF DEATH UNCERTAIN
And from the article itself : Dismembermnent, however, is associated with homicidal acts of violence.
Well, duh. And btw, the last time I was beheaded, it was almost fatal.
YOUTH SERVICES MOVE FROM PARK
But the view was so much better there.
TREATING LAPTOP AS DISPOSABLE GRABS DEPUTY'S ATTENTION
Extra Crispy Cremes for you, dude.
DEATH-ROW WOLVES EVADE HUNTERS
Damn those WOLVES...
RICHARDSON CREATES TRADE PANEL WITH CHIUAHA
Our Enchanted Land's next Governor does look like he might dine at Taco Smell on occasion.
COPS CHASE SHEEP THROUGH CARLSBAD
Guess they had gotten bored touring the Caverns day after day.
And the BEST one of all was Page One Top:
DRESS-WEARING SCORPION KNIFED AT NUDIE BAR
Hint : our pro hockey team is called the Scorpions.


They talk like him; they sort of look like him.
And they are already SOLD OUT through February. Dubya is more popular than he knows.



Got Yours Yet?



Finally, these Creedence Clearwater lyrics go out
especially for Mister Trent Lott :

Don't Look Now (It Ain't You Or Me)

Who will take the coal from the mine?
Who will take the salt from the earth?
Who'll take a leaf and grow it to a tree?
Don't Look Now, it ain't you or me.

Who will work the field with his hands?
Who will put his back to the plough?
Who'll take the mountain and give it to the sea?
Don't Look Now, it ain't you or me.

Don't Look Now, someone's done your starvin';
Don't Look Now, someone's done your prayin' too.

Who will make the shoes for your feet?
Who will make the clothes that you wear?
Who'll take the promise that you don't have to keep?
Don't Look Now, it ain't you or me.

Who will take the coal from the mines?
Who will take the salt from the earth?
Who'll take the promise that you don't have to keep?
Don't Look Now, it ain't you or me.


And it sure ain't TRENT LOTT nor CARDINAL LAW .








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Wednesday, December 11, 2002
I admit that it is a sad thing that we are unable to get THE SOPRANO's with our Direct TV arrangement. Perhaps if we did get the mafioso's, I would better be able to interpret this email that arrived today:
Guess you don't watch the Sopramos.
Tony thought he'd found this beauty Mercedes dealer; f--ked like a rabbit(excuse analogy); drop dead gorgeous; then he sees HER in his shrink office. uhoh. She is/goes nuts calls his wife(Carmelo) and shrieks. Tony to talks to shrink about her and only reply is why do you think she's here? The Tony pays a visit ; she hits him with a steak ; he nails her; pins her to the floor and she begs him to kill her. Just what I need another nutcase. Plus I seen better at the pound.


Man, what freshly laid chaos we are missing out on.

Just visited randomthink.net which is a blog of a long time ago student of mine. Actually I 'googled' into the sight with the term freshchaos placed into the Google-izer. This week's NEWSWEEK MAGAZINE has a huge story on 'Google'. I love Google and am not alone in my deep down soft feelings of desire for this perfect search engine. I used to like Dogpile.com but it has gone the way of the dogpiles.
Anyway back at "Randomthink" , I found a pretty big burn to freshchaos.com. It has come to my attention that a lot of folks just don't get what Freshchaos.com is all about.
Frankly my dear , you are not alone in your chaotic confusions. There is just so much ridiculous chaos in the world it boggles the mind.

Are you going to get a smallpox shot? I am in that age bracket where my arm still shows the scars provided with my now, apparently outdated, smallpox vaccination of years ago. I can recall too getting a polio vaccine on a sugar cube. God, I'm an old chaotic codger.

In tonight's 'dinnertime news', there was a great story of the eighty million dollar rocket that missed its target of an icbm (ooh...there's a term we haven't heard in awhile) which had been shot across the sky as a decoy by our great Nation. And on the ground our troops battle each other in the desert while the sandstorms begin. A war with Iraq is not going to be a clean thing. There will be a lot of sand and dust and possibly blood.

Then there are the scud missiles hidden beneath bags of cement on a ship bound for Yemen. This ship was tracked all the way from North Korea and suddenly searched in the middle of the high seas. But then...ooops, Yemen is a friend of ours, unlike the evil North Korea and since they the Yemenese will use them only for DEFENSE then, sorry. Take em away, Danno.

And, in case you missed it, the band Puddle Of Mudd was the winner of the Rock Group of the Year. Kill me now, Sister.

I sometimes wonder what R.E.M. is up to these days down in mid to lower Georgia.
I find myself musing to the lyrics of Texarkana in a sad sort of forlorn war torn way.


REM
Out of Time (1991)
Texarkana

20,000 Miles To An Oasis
20,000 Years Will I Burn
20,000 Chances I Wasted
Waiting For The Moment To Turn

I Would Give My Life To Find It
I Would Give It All
Catch Me If I Fall

Walking Through The Woods I Have Faced It
Looking For Something To Learn
30,000 Thoughts Have Replaced It,
Never In My Time To Return

I Would Give My Life To Find It
I Would Give It All
Catch Me If I Fall
All Alone
Waiting To Fall

40,000 Stars In The Evening
Look At Them Fall From The Sky
40,000 Reasons For Living
40,000 Tears In Your Eye

I Would Give My Life To Find It
I Would Give It All
Catch Me If I Fall












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Friday, December 06, 2002
Perhaps today I was the only person in the theater to fall totally asleep in the midst of the explosively ridiculous DIE any OTHER day. What an incredibly stupid movie which most likely cost more than our up and coming war with Iraq.

My father, God bless him, was a huge fan of Ian Fleming. He got me into reading the Bond books and I read em all. They were great in their matter of factness, in their mention of local cuisine and local sites of color. I believe Ian Fleming was a pre-cursor in his minimal style to another writer I liked and actually met in Washington State once, Raymond Carver. God bless his soul as well. As do many talented creative individuals, Ray died way too young. His wife, Tess Gallagher lives on, as does her poetry.

Anyway, I used my 'free pass' today for the Bond movie; only had to spend $50 bucks at Circuit City for the pass. Ya know, It don't come easy, Dude. The movie is absolutely ridiculous. In yesterday's blog attempt, I stated that I hope never to see another Austin Powers' flick. Well, DOUBLE DITTO to the Bond series. It is over and done with in my opinion.

My wife gave me the original James on dvd called Dr. No. It is a fascinating movie and the dvd has some interesting extras about the whole Ian Fleming turns into movies process. My favorite old days actress, Ursula Andress is a star in this original Bond Movie and is a far cry more sexy than Hallie's Comet Barry. By the way, another resource for classic movie stars can be found by clicking this 'Google Image search' under Honor Blackman who was of course PUSSY GALORE...ooh baby. It is fun saying that name. Pussy Galore! And, fun, is perhaps the most MISSING element of the latest Bond flick. Enough explosions to put me to sleep. And you old dudes should bring earplugs for the flick.

Should prove to be an interesting weekend coming up what with tonight being the last night of CHANUKAH, RAMADAN closes itself out; and then ya got the anniversary of PEARL HARBOR and THE FEAST OF THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION of Mary coming in on Saturday and Sunday respectively. Ah...Oogah Boogah.




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Thursday, December 05, 2002
One of our sister sites has a new gallery...Catch the latest Bunnytown Gallery!


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Well sir, I have finally seen the third embracing of chaotic Bondom, Austin Power's numero III. I for one hated it. Found it horribly painful, gross, and disgusting with three (ok maybe, four) laughs of my own in the one and a half hours of urine and feces soaked humor. I guess I just don't get the humor that apparently a large portion of today's Amerika embraces and rejoices in. I love Mike Meyers but let's leave it there for the rest of the millenium. Just say NO to an AP-IVth.

I have a free pass to see the new Bond Movie. Haven't utilized it yet but I am not holding my breath. Dying Any Day but Today seems to be a good idea basically. Interesting to me that the heroines of both AP-III and Die Another Day are lightly colored Black women. Not sure how to interpret that Hollywood take on a politically correct secret agent-dom. Although, Ian Fleming perhaps would've encouraged his main man, James, to be color blind in his quest for beautiful companions. Bond was after all, a 'man of the world', or maybe an 'international man of mystery'.

Speaking of Secret Agents, thanks to our readers, you can find several new posters of our nation's "international Monkey Man of Mystery " at :
STEAL 
these  Posters!!


If you haven't visited our Message Board in awhile, things are getting a bit 'lively' there. Click on Message Board to your right; no, wait...make that the LEFT.





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Here's a financial "turkey" for the holiday season, written by a wise man for The Motley Fool:

"Gobble Gobble," Says the Government
by Robert Brokamp (TMF Bro)

Quick ... name one meaningful step the government has taken to restore faith in the public markets - one action that will significantly reduce the chances of another Enron or WorldCom occurring. Sure, CEOs and CFOs have to sign off on their companies' financial statements, but that won't prevent much - if an executive's a crook, will a required signature stay his greedy hand? The accounting oversight board? Its first-ever chairman has already resigned, and the seat remains vacant. The Securities and Exchange Commission? It's led by a lame-turkey chairman, with no new appointee in sight.

Remember all those congressional hearings where Ken Lay, Bernie Ebbers, and friends were trotted in front of the cameras to take the Fifth? What was accomplished? In the meantime, the Dow is down approximately 12% since February, and the corporate criminals are free to enjoy a sumptuous holiday season.

No matter. If our 401(k)s keep dwindling, we still have Social Security. Oh, wait ...


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Sunday, December 01, 2002
STEAL 
these  Posters!!



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So much Chaos,
So little time.

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